summerisle
The rain, it raineth every day
Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge" ?
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge" ?
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
Jokes Thread
- Thread starter toffeemax
- Start date
Bishop Thumpety-Thump
Player Valuation: £15m
Pathetic me a Kopite.......never......nor a racist by the way .....
[/QUOTE]
Hi Joe - I'd like to apologise for using the word Kopite, clearly that's going too far. I may not like your politics or your jokes, but there was no need for me to say that.
You’ll have to explain this leap to me
A spanish magician always finished the last trick of his act with a countdown. 'Uno, Dos......and he vanished without a Tres.
Hi Joe - I'd like to apologise for using the word Kopite, clearly that's going too far. I may not like your politics or your jokes, but there was no need for me to say that.
[/QUOTE]
I forgot it instantly, no problems...my jokes do get some nice stick or good stick - politics should never come into it - anyway stay safe ......
Bishop Thumpety-Thump
Player Valuation: £15m
I've just been blocked from a Gary Barlow fan page on Facebook.
Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it.
Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it.
Bishop Thumpety-Thump
Player Valuation: £15m
Have you ever noticed how many F1 drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?
Stirling Moss, Lewis Hamilton, Eddie Irvine, Ayr Town Centre....
Stirling Moss, Lewis Hamilton, Eddie Irvine, Ayr Town Centre....
Yes my son.......
Professor Toffee
On and on, over the hill and the craic is good
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much I earn
Then they call me ugly and poor
Then they call me ugly and poor
Professor Toffee
On and on, over the hill and the craic is good
A gladiator walks into a Roman bar, holds up two fingers and says
Five beers please
Five beers please
Professor Toffee
On and on, over the hill and the craic is good
I made up a new word yesterday
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. “What are those?, asks the attendant. “They’re called tees” replies Tiger. “Well, what on the god’s earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman. “They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger. “Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “BMW thinks of everything!”
Edward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. "Can I help you, fella?", asks the cop. "Yesssh, ssshombody stole my car!" Edward replies. The cop asks, "Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?". "It was at the end of this key", Edward replies. At this point the cop looks down to see that Edwards p*nis is hanging out of his trousers. The cop asks Edward , "Hey buddy, are you aware that you're exposing yourself? Edward looks down sadly and moans, "OHHH GOD...they got Julie too!"