Jokes Thread

Kurt. · December 20, 2024

Do you think anyone has been to see Placebo .. thinking it was The Cure ?

Tommy Chong · December 23, 2024

Milk · January 15, 2025

I identify as a chocolate bar

My pronouns are her/she

Vintage · January 16, 2025

Milk said:
I identify as a chocolate bar

My pronouns are her/she

Ah that gives me an idea for a crap joke

I identify as a donkey

My pronouns are he/haw

Milk · January 20, 2025

I was trying to explain Tiswas to my young son.

"Google 'Sally James creampied'," I told him. "....on second thoughts, don't."

MaximusEvertonius · January 20, 2025

Vintage said:
Ah that gives me an idea for a crap joke

I identify as a donkey

My pronouns are he/haw

I laughed at this way more than I expected

Milk · January 21, 2025

When I got home I found a note from my wife saying she had gone out for a few drinks with her mates and that she had left me some dinner that just needed reheating.
As soon as I shut the door on the microwave and set the timer to 3 minutes I heard her come crashing through the front door pissed out of her face, she stumbled into the kitchen and demanded sex right there.
After some foreplay, I f****d her over the kitchen table and we ended up spooning on the floor out of breath and sweating.
"Wow, you've never lasted that long before," she giggled.

As I lay there with a smug grin on my face and feeling like a sex god, there was a sudden 'PING' from the microwave and my dinner was ready!