carlos21
KING OF REP
Language please.
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Jokes Thread
- Thread starter toffeemax
- Start date
The last surviving telegram messenger had died. Messages have been pouring in.
So, it's long overdue that Barbara Windsor receives a Damehood in the News Year's Honours for her services to innuendo.
Great that they've finally given her one.
Great that they've finally given her one.
Bob Monkhouse - "They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian ... They're not laughing now."
silent bob
What a guy.
What has one eye but can`t see?
Half a sheeps head.
Half a sheeps head.
Cheated, sorry
carlos21
KING OF REP
Hi jammy.
Cheated, sorry
silent bob
What a guy.
Bless! She`s done you like a kipper there mate.
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?'
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?'
carlos21
KING OF REP
Yo Bob.
silent bob
What a guy.
Evening mate. How you doing?
Hi Carlos. You'll have had your tea? Big cheese?
CahillsCornerFlag
Player Valuation: £70m
Why did the pony have a sore throat?
Because of a bacterial infection.
Because of a bacterial infection.