Install the app
How to install the app on iOS

Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.

Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.

Jokes Thread

Two guys try to get into a nightclub, the bouncer says sorry guys you can't get in here without wearing a tie,
They retreat disappointedly, one of them says tell you what I've got a cheap small set of jump leads in the car, I'll wear the black one you take the red one and we'll try and dupe him.

The guys go back to the car and duly set about wearing the jump leads and walk back to the club,
"Didn't I knock you guys back earlier?" asked the bouncer "yes mate but I remembered I had a couple of ties in the car, are we ok to get in now?"

"Yes mate, just make sure you don't start anything"
 

Two guys meet in the gym and one says: Why are you putting on a corset?

The other says: My wife found it in in the glove compartment of my car.
When I was a kid, we lived on a farm and our neighbouring farmer, a bloke called Jaroslav Trombik (who'd bailed out of Czechoslovakia because he was a classic looking Aryan and the Nazis wanted him in their SS), used to wear Rosemary's (his wife) corset because he had an abdominal hernia and the corset 'kept his insides from popping out'. I saw Yaroslav last Christmas holidays ...he's 95 now.
Back in the 70s, he had an operation to fix the hernia and no longer wears a corset.

As another interesting aside, he once took a game off Gary Kasparov, the Russian world chess champion. He taught me chess but I never got close to beating him.

Now, here is something I swear is true and is one of those 'what are the chances?' moment. Here in NZ, it's Queen's Birthday holiday and in the background, as I type this enthrallingly engaging missive, is a radio interview with the great ex All Black Grant Fox (who incidentally I played against many times back in the day). Foxy just mentioned a classic county game he played in the early 80s in which he said his team, Auckland, should really have lost as, in the last minute, an opposition player, who Foxy named, scored a try, which the ref missed. The name of the try scorer? My great mate David Trombik...Jaroslav's son.

What a mind-boggling coincidence!.
 
When I was a kid, we lived on a farm and our neighbouring farmer, a bloke called Jaroslav Trombik (who'd bailed out of Czechoslovakia because he was a classic looking Aryan and the Nazis wanted him in their SS), used to wear Rosemary's (his wife) corset because he had an abdominal hernia and the corset 'kept his insides from popping out'. I saw Yaroslav last Christmas holidays ...he's 95 now.
Back in the 70s, he had an operation to fix the hernia and no longer wears a corset.

As another interesting aside, he once took a game off Gary Kasparov, the Russian world chess champion. He taught me chess but I never got close to beating him.

Now, here is something I swear is true and is one of those 'what are the chances?' moment. Here in NZ, it's Queen's Birthday holiday and in the background, as I type this enthrallingly engaging missive, is a radio interview with the great ex All Black Grant Fox (who incidentally I played against many times back in the day). Foxy just mentioned a classic county game he played in the early 80s in which he said his team, Auckland, should really have lost as, in the last minute, an opposition player, who Foxy named, scored a try, which the ref missed. The name of the try scorer? My great mate David Trombik...Jaroslav's son.

What a mind-boggling coincidence!.
Extraordinary! Fox could put them over from all parts of the pitch although he was quite diminutive as I recall.

The joke should have read "ladies" corset I suppose - just to hammer home the point.
 

Extraordinary! Fox could put them over from all parts of the pitch although he was quite diminutive as I recall.

The joke should have read "ladies" corset I suppose - just to hammer home the point.
I immediately associate corsets with women’s underwear, so any gender qualification on your part in delivering your fine joke would have been redundant....and,imo, would have diminished the jokes thrust.
Actually, while I have your attention, I have just learned (via a Queen’s Holiday cryptic crossword i’m attempting) , is that the slang word for heroin (ie ‘smack’) derives from a Yiddish word ‘schmeck’, which means ‘to sniff’.
You learn something new every hour!!
 
I immediately associate corsets with women’s underwear, so any gender qualification on your part in delivering your fine joke would have been redundant....and,imo, would have diminished the jokes thrust.
Actually, while I have your attention, I have just learned (via a Queen’s Holiday cryptic crossword i’m attempting) , is that the slang word for heroin (ie ‘smack’) derives from a Yiddish word ‘schmeck’, which means ‘to sniff’.
You learn something new every hour!!
How do you end up with a holiday for the queen's birthday, over there, yet we happy tax paying Brits don't? :rant:
 
How do you end up with a holiday for the queen's birthday, over there, yet we happy tax paying Brits don't? :rant:
It’s the same here in ‘Straya. They held a referendum years back on whether to become a republic and bin off the Queen, but people voted against it in case they had to give up their public holiday
 
Two guys try to get into a nightclub, the bouncer says sorry guys you can't get in here without wearing a tie,
They retreat disappointedly, one of them says tell you what I've got a cheap small set of jump leads in the car, I'll wear the black one you take the red one and we'll try and dupe him.

The guys go back to the car and duly set about wearing the jump leads and walk back to the club,
"Didn't I knock you guys back earlier?" asked the bouncer "yes mate but I remembered I had a couple of ties in the car, are we ok to get in now?"

"Yes mate, just make sure you don't start anything"
Couple of live wires them two.
 

Welcome to GrandOldTeam

Get involved. Registration is simple and free.

Back
Top