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Jokes Thread

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well sister, this looks pretty grim." "I know, father." "In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two." "I agree." "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?" "Anything father." "I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours." "Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm." The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. "Sister would you mind if I touched them?" She consented and he fondled them for several minutes. "Father, could I ask something of you?" "Yes sister?" "I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?" "I supposed that would be OK," the priest replied lifting his robe. "Oh father, may I touch it?" This time the priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection. "Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life." "Is that true father?" "Yes it is, sister." "Then why don't you stick it up that camel's ass and lets get the hell out of here."
 
Guy goes into a shop and orders some flowers. The shop assistant says 'we are not a florist, we don't sell flowers'. The guy says 'you have flowers in the window'.
The shop assistant says 'we are a Vasectomy Clinic, what do you expect us to put in the window?'
 
Went for my annual eye test today as my mother had glaucoma. He asked me if I could see the lady in the house behind us getting changed for bed, to which I replied, of course I could. He turned around and said, there’s eff all wrong with your eyesight, see you next year.
 


Just letting everyone know I’ve been admitted to hospital and they are keeping me ,in as I have only gone and poisoned myself with what I thought was an onion but turned out to be a daffodil bulb
They said I should be out sometime in the SPRING

typical welsh......
 
typical welsh......
That joke Leeked out in the Beano in the 1960,s :D
Funny Welsh comedians try googling Owen Money......he's awful.......about as funny as a boil on your arsp ....
That Max fellla was all the rage at one time in the 1980s ......came on stage with a massive Leek in his hand.....I went for a job at Buxton and he had played the pavilion theatre to rave reviews .....
 
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That joke Leeked out in the Beano in the 1960,s :D
Funny Welsh comedians try googling Owen Money......he's awful.......about as funny as a boil on your arsp ....
That Max fellla was all the rage at one time in the 1980s ......came on stage with a massive Leek in his hand.....I went for a job at Buxton and he had played the pavilion theatre to rave reviews .....
Wow.... never had you down as racist joe
 

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