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Messymascot's faith in humanity and ginger safe haven

Terrarian said:
I sometimes wonder if the carers are there because they love the job or if they've been made to take the job by the job centre and couldn't really care less.

Daisy says hi
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I think it's both. I get lots of referrals in my job from caring organisations and you can just tell which ones are doing it because they want to and which ones are doing it because it's their only alternative to having their benefits stopped.
Check up on the carers duties - are they supposed to help your Dad go to the loo. I appreciate that they could be doing it and then your Dad, in between care visits, gets the urge and wets himself. Perhaps he needs to wear incontinence pads. I would discuss your concerns with the care provider. Just say you don't think the care package he has got is sufficient for his needs.
 

anjelikaferrett said:
I think it's both. I get lots of referrals in my job from caring organisations and you can just tell which ones are doing it because they want to and which ones are doing it because it's their only alternative to having their benefits stopped.
Check up on the carers duties - are they supposed to help your Dad go to the loo. I appreciate that they could be doing it and then your Dad, in between care visits, gets the urge and wets himself. Perhaps he needs to wear incontinence pads. I would discuss your concerns with the care provider. Just say you don't think the care package he has got is sufficient for his needs.
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She's got him some incontinence pants yesterday I think. She's round there now meeting with some team or other. All I can do is share what I'm told by people in the know like pete as she said she doesn't think I would be able to handle everything going on due to my own mental health.

I pass on information and ask how she and him are doing and she seems happy with that. There's 3 or 4 of them checking on him daily but they can't be there all the time

I do get treat as someone on the fringes of my family, it is what it is. I always ask if I can help, I always want to be kept in the loop about stuff, not just this with dad but they don't. I only get told what is going on when I ask.
 
Hi folks. I'm.home alone. Mr F has gone out for a drink with his friend, daughter is at work so just me. Overtime this morning was an IT nightmare. One letter, consisting of one side of writing, took 9 minutes to generate! I've just had a very healthy lunch, have snacked on carrot sticks and I have an equally healthy tea lined up.
I think I'll watch the City match and hope for the best.
 
Terrarian said:
She's got him some incontinence pants yesterday I think. She's round there now meeting with some team or other. All I can do is share what I'm told by people in the know like pete as she said she doesn't think I would be able to handle everything going on due to my own mental health.

I pass on information and ask how she and him are doing and she seems happy with that. There's 3 or 4 of them checking on him daily but they can't be there all the time

I do get treat as someone on the fringes of my family, it is what it is. I always ask if I can help, I always want to be kept in the loop about stuff, not just this with dad but they don't. I only get told what is going on when I ask.
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Just keep asking questions. You're there for your sister and I'm sure she appreciates it.
Forgot to say- gorgeous pic of Daisy
 
Terrarian said:
Morning guys, quick update,

My dad has moved into his new flat and has carers going round a few times a day. However my sister isn't convinced they are doing overly much and she's caught out a few untruths by them as if she doesn't know his behaviours and habits.

The worse thing at the moment is the fact he's now incontinent and everytime she goes around he's sat in his own piss. It is emotionally wrecking my sister.

He clearly needs to be in a care home, he can't look after himself at all, he doesn't know who he is or where he's at a lot of the time.

I have been trying to stress to her to seek help from ageuk as recommended by @peteblue Once I explained that pete was talking from first hand experience and knows what help they can offer. I think I have got through to her at last but she's been through the ringer and had basically given up on asking for help. I am going to make sure she calls them on Monday.

Everyone is worried sick that he's going to hurt himself. I have no love for the man but nobody should have to live like that.

Other than that, I'm doing a bit better. Very pissed off about the target on our back by the PL and we best be able to get this overturned.

Enjoy your weekend everyone.
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Then also phone the council. They may have to pay to put him in a home, but they also get the flat back to re-use. I put incontinence pads on my wife and change them in the morning, mid afternoon and before going to bed. It must be incredibly stressful for your sister and with not living with him just makes it harder. She should also go and see her own doctor because the pressure this can put on her has to be experienced to be believed.

The support networks tend to be local affairs, but this lady really helped me and she may be able to put your sister into the right hands in your area. Contact on 01858 468543 or email maureen@supportforcarers.org

I hope she gets the help she needs……
 

Terrarian said:
I sometimes wonder if the carers are there because they love the job or if they've been made to take the job by the job centre and couldn't really care less.

Daisy says hi
View attachment 236544
Click to expand...

Our pub manager and another of our staff were both carers, they both loved doing it, but eventually they both gave it up after six or seven years because of the heartache they were seeing played out. From what little I know I would guess that they want to be in the job so don’t worry….
 
peteblue said:
Then also phone the council. They may have to pay to put him in a home, but they also get the flat back to re-use. I put incontinence pads on my wife and change them in the morning, mid afternoon and before going to bed. It must be incredibly stressful for your sister and with not living with him just makes it harder. She should also go and see her own doctor because the pressure this can put on her has to be experienced to be believed.

The support networks tend to be local affairs, but this lady really helped me and she may be able to put your sister into the right hands in your area. Contact on 01858 468543 or email maureen@supportforcarers.org

I hope she gets the help she needs……
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Thanks Pete, I've sent her them details
 
anjelikaferrett said:
Hi folks. I'm.home alone. Mr F has gone out for a drink with his friend, daughter is at work so just me. Overtime this morning was an IT nightmare. One letter, consisting of one side of writing, took 9 minutes to generate! I've just had a very healthy lunch, have snacked on carrot sticks and I have an equally healthy tea lined up.
I think I'll watch the City match and hope for the best.
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Are you watching it- the level of pro Liverpool vomit inducing commentary is putting me off my oat milk latte at the moment.
 

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