minor things that make you fume

[chrismpw]

That bit where you're blurrily putting your under crackers on in the morning. Balancing in one leg,the other raised to meet the proffered underclothes.

Then you don't realise you're not quite lined up. The foot starts its descent, misses the hole, your big toe catches the elastic and before you realise what's going on, it stretches before twanging back to slap an unsuspecting pendulous genital gland.

Not again ffs.

 

[chrismpw]

Women on Twitter.

Never has there been a more oppressed group of individuals in all of history, if you actually believe them. The suffering of the Jews in WW2 is laughable when compared to a woman with 200+ followers on a social media platform.

I get that there’s random weirdos that send pictures of their junk to girls, I also know that it’s massively inflated as to how many people actually do it. I don’t get why people would read these DMs etc.

I get that there’s people that try to shut down debate with ‘you’re a woman!’ and they are pretty much mouth breathing virgins for the most part.

But, Christ, some of these women spout absolutely vile, moronic wham on there with utter conviction and then get upset when people call them out on their BS. The term mansplaining is perhaps the most insidious phrase ever developed to shut down debate.

I’m not saying all women on there are bad, but there seems to be a level where suddenly they become proper bad weirdos convinced that their opinions are gospel and we need to hear their opinions on every little thing - especially when they start developing their weird gimmicks (As a mummy.../As a fuller sized lady/As a vegan) whatever the hot topic of the day is, they are there to throw in their two penneth.

I expect this to have gone viral by lunch and for the women of Twitter to have launched their white knight army to bring me down.

(Oh and that last sentence reminds me - the pathetic men on social media that enable these women. No she won’t sleep with you just because you ‘emphasis’ with whatever opinion she has.)

Amen brother.

I learned this in primary school: "empty vessels make the most noise."

Was nearly always directed at a girl (by the female teacher before I get accused of anything.).

 

[chrismpw]

I've noticed a huge spike in women using football teams to gather male attention - Everton have got a few now and all the twitter da's lap it up and agree with whatever awful or obvious opinion they share.

Some of them even talk about sex etc or have their chebs out then act offended when some horny lad messages them.

There's Everton fans from down south and one from Canda I think who keep popping up on my feed with either something cringe or something thirsty. Had to mute them. See them sometimes acting victim like if something has bothered them from their own actions.

Please don't take this as labelling every bird like that, I know loads who support Everton and don't act like them on social media.

There are men who seem to do similar, and fall over themselves to defend these women and fight their horribly repressed and exploited corner, irrespective of any rationale.

I suspect its their way of ingratiating themselves and trying to find a mate. Must be desperate I my view.

 

[degsy]

Women on Twitter.

Never has there been a more oppressed group of individuals in all of history, if you actually believe them. The suffering of the Jews in WW2 is laughable when compared to a woman with 200+ followers on a social media platform.

I get that there’s random weirdos that send pictures of their junk to girls, I also know that it’s massively inflated as to how many people actually do it. I don’t get why people would read these DMs etc.

I get that there’s people that try to shut down debate with ‘you’re a woman!’ and they are pretty much mouth breathing virgins for the most part.

But, Christ, some of these women spout absolutely vile, moronic wham on there with utter conviction and then get upset when people call them out on their BS. The term mansplaining is perhaps the most insidious phrase ever developed to shut down debate.

I’m not saying all women on there are bad, but there seems to be a level where suddenly they become proper bad weirdos convinced that their opinions are gospel and we need to hear their opinions on every little thing - especially when they start developing their weird gimmicks (As a mummy.../As a fuller sized lady/As a vegan) whatever the hot topic of the day is, they are there to throw in their two penneth.

I expect this to have gone viral by lunch and for the women of Twitter to have launched their white knight army to bring me down.

(Oh and that last sentence reminds me - the pathetic men on social media that enable these women. No she won’t sleep with you just because you ‘emphasis’ with whatever opinion she has.)

A bit like kopites really

If you averaged out the age of the likes on the OP it would start with a 6...or possibly a 7
Doesn't make the point less valid though, just we don give kne abiut saying it

 

[tommytowne]

I've just received a response from someone who wants to buy a sofa I've got advertised on Gumtree. A real sob story from a punter who wants to buy it for his dearest son. I can't contact him by telephone because he's at work and personal calls are prohibited. He wants me to send me my PayPal details so he can pay money into the account and send a verified carrier to pick up the goods and suggests that I don't have an account I should set one up. Oh, email has been sent via another member of family as his server at work is down. How much bad luck can one person have? I'm in bits here.

 

[Frang]

I've noticed a huge spike in women using football teams to gather male attention - Everton have got a few now and all the twitter da's lap it up and agree with whatever awful or obvious opinion they share.

Some of them even talk about sex etc or have their chebs out then act offended when some horny lad messages them.

There's Everton fans from down south and one from Canda I think who keep popping up on my feed with either something cringe or something thirsty. Had to mute them. See them sometimes acting victim like if something has bothered them from their own actions.

Please don't take this as labelling every bird like that, I know loads who support Everton and don't act like them on social media.

that Canadian fella is either a massive perv or he is getting had off at every opportunity by them 'everton gals' … always arguing about DMs whether he sent nudes or not or asking for a date with these birds … I dunno what to believe , just unfollow.

 

[Frang]

That bit where you're blurrily putting your under crackers on in the morning. Balancing in one leg,the other raised to meet the proffered underclothes.

Then you don't realise you're not quite lined up. The foot starts its descent, misses the hole, your big toe catches the elastic and before you realise what's going on, it stretches before twanging back to slap an unsuspecting pendulous genital gland.

Not again ffs.

this is me , EVERY afternoon when I get up

 

[wilfjacko]

this is me , EVERY afternoon when I get up

Not me.
I just leave my PJs on.

 

[Toast]

Moving fixtures for tv.

I totally get it's where the money is, but Boxing Day should all be a 3pm kick off.

 

[ClausThomsen]

That bit where you're blurrily putting your under crackers on in the morning. Balancing in one leg,the other raised to meet the proffered underclothes.

Then you don't realise you're not quite lined up. The foot starts its descent, misses the hole, your big toe catches the elastic and before you realise what's going on, it stretches before twanging back to slap an unsuspecting pendulous genital gland.

Not again ffs.

Sleep naked and don't put your undercrackers on until you're fresh and awake. If that makes family breakfasts awkward then so be it.....

 

[GwladysPhil]

that Canadian fella is either a massive perv or he is getting had off at every opportunity by them 'everton gals' … always arguing about DMs whether he sent nudes or not or asking for a date with these birds … I dunno what to believe , just unfollow.

I don't know what fella you mean, I was on about the American or Canadian woman who chats cringe wham about Everton.

 

[COYBL25]

I've just received a response from someone who wants to buy a sofa I've got advertised on Gumtree. A real sob story from a punter who wants to buy it for his dearest son. I can't contact him by telephone because he's at work and personal calls are prohibited. He wants me to send me my PayPal details so he can pay money into the account and send a verified carrier to pick up the goods and suggests that I don't have an account I should set one up. Oh, email has been sent via another member of family as his server at work is down. How much bad luck can one person have? I'm in bits here.

 

[tommytowne]

View attachment 69082

That's him alright!

 

[Baines' left foot]

Socks that keep falling down.

 

[GwladysPhil]

I've just received a response from someone who wants to buy a sofa I've got advertised on Gumtree. A real sob story from a punter who wants to buy it for his dearest son. I can't contact him by telephone because he's at work and personal calls are prohibited. He wants me to send me my PayPal details so he can pay money into the account and send a verified carrier to pick up the goods and suggests that I don't have an account I should set one up. Oh, email has been sent via another member of family as his server at work is down. How much bad luck can one person have? I'm in bits here.

How does this scam work? They put the money into the account then take it back? Or just claim they have?