minor things that make you fume

[jaycee]

Bloke upstairs practising the Jaws theme on his Cello for an hour now. My nerves are shredded.

We used to have swimming lessons in school,one day a lad brought a note in to excuse from the class as he had seen Jaws and was now afraid of water

 

[degsy]

Bloke upstairs practising the Jaws theme on his Cello for an hour now. My nerves are shredded.

Shove diving compressed air bottle in his gob and then shoot at it 4 or 5 times with a rifle until it blows his 'kin head off*




*Well it worked in the film

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

Shove diving compressed air bottle in his gob and then shoot at it 4 or 5 times with a rifle until it blows his 'kin head off*




*Well it worked in the film

I'm gonna need a bigger boat

 

[degsy]

I'm gonna need a bigger boat

Or tell him if he doesnt stop hes gonna need a bigger asrehole

 

[COYBL25]

No idea on the shooting thing ?

What I do see on a daily basis at work is blerts giving it large and thinking they are not getting done for it.
For example, and I kid you not, our Pakistani security guard was punched and spat at in his face this week along with the racial abuse which we now see as standard.
I have gone the extra mile with regards to evidence on this though and the cctv images are clear, even tracked his motor on ANPR, and given it to the bizzies. I will be interested to see how it is investigated.

Racially aggravated assault > straight to jail.

 

[mmmmsnouts]

Any time I leave a plastic clothes hanger on the bed and then later I accidentally sit or lean on it and break it.

 

[chrismpw]

Switch on the laptop that I bought and I own, to use in a hurry and with urgency.

Laptop announces - installing update 1 of 61 (it's been saying this for 20 minutes now).

No "is it ok if I do this right now?" dialogue. Just - "I don't care that you own me or if you're having a heart attack and need to send an email - Microsoft have desired my attention - you just wait, peasant."

Ffs technology. Just ffs.

 

[Harryflashman]

I’d happily pay an extra £5 a month for the gym to employ a grock to guard the free weights section.

this , completely this

 

[Lloydystark]

People who mock @Darren78

Any news on him or his whereabouts?

 

[Brisan123]

Back in the day I used to fold and iron my pound notes while I was pressing my trousers to go out, nothing like a nice crisp crease in both your trousers and money.
One friday evening a mate knocked on the door and the auld lady said come in he's in the front room doin his kecks, he laughed like 'k, but did admit later it looked smart.

Done the same in the late 70s

 

[Brisan123]

I had no idea going to the gym was such an angry thing.

Put me right off, so will not break the habit of 40 years and start going.

I go most Saturdays and Sundays for 2 hours
When I say I go I mean i accompany my wife
We walk down (about 45 mins) she does her 2 classes ,I sit in the nice coffee shop with great wi-fi,free papers and sports (normally football )on a 70" screen

 

[obc]

If you’re over the age of 12 and you still play games you deserve all the pain that God sends you x

*yawn*

 

[Methuselah]

Switch on the laptop that I bought and I own, to use in a hurry and with urgency.

Laptop announces - installing update 1 of 61 (it's been saying this for 20 minutes now).

No "is it ok if I do this right now?" dialogue. Just - "I don't care that you own me or if you're having a heart attack and need to send an email - Microsoft have desired my attention - you just wait, peasant."

Ffs technology. Just ffs.

Chrismpw, I share your pain. It's worse when you are switching off to go to bed and you get the message about updates and 'do not switch off your computer'.

 

[Baines' left foot]

The one guy in work who has no concept of personal space.

Headphones on? It’s time for a long chat about bugger all.

Eating? A great time to talk utter guff about nothing.

 

[Bruce Wayne]

My shares