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minor things that make you fume

When TV weathermen (and women) talk about the weather in Britain when in reality they are referring only to the south east. So you'll often get something like "The weather today/tomorrow was/will be particularly hot.............[THEN 2 MINUTES LATER]...in Manchester/Liverpool/north of Watford it was/will be cloudy and cold......"
 
Getting up after being on the ale to run the shop for milk, lashing a pair of socks on as it's too cold for just your trabs and pushing your big toe straight through them....far too hungover to deal with this scenario so trabs and freezing ankles it is...
 

When people say "I've heard..." when talking about football rumours.

You haven't 'heard' mate you read it on twitter whilst you were on the toilet you meff.
 


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