Most you've ever disappointed your partner

[Sapie88]

Also, I've never disappointed any of my partners because I have the sexual virility of a lion in its prime and I'm hung like a shire horse.

Thanks for reading losers.

 

[Mikey_Fitzgerald]

I don't really have any funny or particularly interesting stories here to be honest

I bought Grape Seed Oil instead of Rape Seed Oil once. She tutted and rolled her eyes

Err, that's about it

 

[Jacko93]

Got caught having a tug over Reddit gonewild in a hotel by London Euston once, she woke up so I lashed the iPad and she thought I was wanking over Ronnie o Sullivan in the world snooker final. Never lived that down.

Hahahahahahahahahaha

 

[admirschleck]

@caught's excellent detective work aside, surely @carlos21's question is the post of the year. You are such a legend my friend! xx

 

[Blue Cheese]

I just thought it was a little odd for someone to write "I miss being 18" if they fell into a coma on their 18th birthday. Just not the kind of off-hand comment you'd expect, know what I mean? I didn't want to upset you, though. If you really did urinate in your mother-in-law's beer, watch her drink it, and then tie up and roll her husband down a hill just before your 18th birthday then I apologise.

Actually, I had a look through a few of your posts while you were replying, just to check I wasn't being unreasonable. It seems dates and stuff aren't really your strong point. Like:


Aug 10 2014


Aug 12 2014


Jan 3 2015



and



Sep 9 2015 – four months later



and, actually, your own age does seem to be a particular point of confusion:


Aug 10 2014


May 18 2015



There are quite a few other inconsistencies, too, but I'm sure all of them can be easily explained. Apologies for causing any distress on your part at this most magical time of year.

 

[Blue Cheese]

Are we saying Robertor was a previously banned user and has been pulling the wool over our eyes. Time for the A-Team...Oh hang on caughts already shafted him lol

 

[Twinkletoes123]

Maybe it was all a dream, whilst he was in his coma?

 

[Yorkie]

Also, I've never disappointed any of my partners because I have the sexual virility of a lion in its prime and I'm hung like a shire horse.

Thanks for reading losers.

Neither of those things stop you uriniating in her ma's pint though..

 

[Sapie88]

Neither of those things stop you uriniating in her ma's pint though..

I could piss in her ma's pint from the other side of the house.

 

[Yorkie]

I could piss in her ma's pint from the other side of the house.

Would be first line on my CV, Tinder bio and gravestone that.

 

[Boss_Blue]

This thread needs stickying as a shrine to @caught for all time.

Awestruck here.

 

[Woolly Blue]

This thread needs stickying as a shrine to @caught for all time.

Awestruck here.

Chico needs some credit here too for starting a "collecting info" type thread. Excellent work all round.

 

[Sapie88]

Chico needs some credit here too for starting a "collecting info" type thread. Excellent work all round.

It's what he does best.

 

[efcforever]

Many moons ago, was the first time I dissapointed her

We were just going out at the time and we were in Rhyl so went out to a classy club called the Orange Peel
She sat down and I went the bar, lager for me and a red witch for her...I spoilt her in them days
As I was walking back I had to cross a deserted dance floor, well besides two lads dancing together. One of them knocked into me and as he did i apologised out of courtesy. Next thing I knew him and his mate were in my face and pushing me. I quickly realised these folk were from Manchester, and they didn't like Liverpool folk. I tried to explain I was with somebody and didn't want trouble. This didn't work so i went to plan B, I just butted one of them and then just hoped for the best. At that point I think I had just started a riot as the place turned into one big brawl. Next thing I knew a bouncer had me and was dragging me out, I decided for some reason to throw a punch at him...it didn't go down well.
They kicked me out and when I asked if they could get my girlfriend they just laughed. I had to wait outside for her with a bloody nose and the knowledge I had at least one black eye. She appeared after about 15mins, at first concerned but then realising I was in the thick of it all, she was fuming with me.
Even now we can't talk about it, even joke about it

Not your fault to be fair. You tried to be reasonable.

Probably shouldn't have thrown a punch at the bouncer though. ha ha.

 

[AdamEFC]

It has to be when I pissed in me birds dad's drink and watched him drink it. I then tied her ma up and threw her in the river.