Most you've ever disappointed your partner

[Donald Twain]

Lads, I once got so drunk at a house party I passed out and shat my pants. When I woke up, it was really dark and I looked for a washing machine, so I fumbled around, opened something, put my shat pants in and switched it on. Woke up in the morning to find my friend sitting at the kitchen table eating a chocolate cake. Turns out, I put me pants in the oven and baked my own poo lads! My friend was eating my poocake and he didn't even notice!!!!!!

You can rest assured that everything I told you is true, no need to look into it any further.

The only believable bit is you fumbling about!

 

[caught]

Lads, I once got so drunk at a house party I passed out and shat my pants. When I woke up, it was really dark and I looked for a washing machine, so I fumbled around, opened something, put my shat pants in and switched it on. Woke up in the morning to find my friend sitting at the kitchen table eating a chocolate cake. Turns out, I put me pants in the oven and baked my own poo lads! My friend was eating my poocake and he didn't even notice!!!!!!

You can rest assured that everything I told you is true, no need to look into it any further.

Interesting story, mate. I'll be honest, something sounded a little off here so I did a bit of digging:

Feb 1 2014

I was born without an anus.

Feb 2 2014

As most of you know, I was born with a smooth patch where my anus should be. Exactly like a Barbie doll.

Feb 3 2014

One good thing about not having an anus is that you never have to poo. It does mean you feel a bit bloated, though.

and

Nov 20 2015

I've never been to a house party and, on an unrelated note, I have no anus.

 

[Pat's Van]

hahaha anus

 

[Prevenger17]

Interesting story, mate. I'll be honest, something sounded a little off here so I did a bit of digging:

Feb 1 2014


Feb 2 2014


Feb 3 2014


and

Nov 20 2015

Gadzooks, I've been rumbled!

 

[Prevenger17]

I think caught might be the best poster on here.

 

[Pat's Van]

I think caught might be the best poster on here.

after froggy ted? deffo

 

[Woolly Blue]

So he's still working at the Echo then?..

After extensive research we came to the conclusion that he did, one day, buy a copy of the Echo, which is close enough.

 

[Dithering Dougie]

After extensive research we came to the conclusion that he did, one day, buy a copy of the Echo, which is close enough.

Something doesn't ring true...


I don't know any blues who buy the Echo.

 

[Woolly Blue]

Something doesn't ring true...


I don't know any blues who buy the Echo.

Cheaper than toilet paper and does much the same job.

 

[Pat's Van]

Cheaper than toilet paper and does much the same job.

never a good idea wiping your hoop with something that's already full of sh!t

 

[summerisle]

Lads, I once got so drunk at a house party I passed out and shat my pants. When I woke up, it was really dark and I looked for a washing machine, so I fumbled around, opened something, put my shat pants in and switched it on. Woke up in the morning to find my friend sitting at the kitchen table eating a chocolate cake. Turns out, I put me pants in the oven and baked my own poo lads! My friend was eating my poocake and he didn't even notice!!!!!!

You can rest assured that everything I told you is true, no need to look into it any further.

You've been watching too many films :

 

[Prevenger17]

Can't believe I mentioned my lack of an anus so often.

 

[Whistlin' Dixie]

Can't believe I mentioned my lack of an anus so often.

Who gives a sh1t?

Not you, obvs....

 

[larrygobfiend]

Best ten minutes I've ever killed in work.

Bravo @caught

This thread has basically been a live action episode of Catfish.

 

[BigDunc'sFod]

Interesting story, mate. I'll be honest, something sounded a little off here so I did a bit of digging:

Feb 1 2014


Feb 2 2014


Feb 3 2014


and

Nov 20 2015

I laughed so hard at this reading it on the subway before, comedy gold, people were looking at me like I was one of the crazy homeless folk