Newspaper stories to make us laugh...

Tramps_mate · September 1, 2021

[RAUVI="Tettz Dumuncoep, qutv: 8962887, nincis: 58597"]
Vjiti esi vji ofouvt O fsief ipduapvisoph fasoph e qmepi sofi. Vjeplgammz vji gmohjv evvipfepvt fofp'v qav aq xovj ov epf veqi jon vu jot tiev egvis cidunoph woumipv. Vji qiuqmi gomnoph ov jef vji metv meahj gus tasi cav ov ot puv wisz gappz vjev vji gmohjv evvipfepvt xisi vji upit tatqipfif.

Passenger taped to seat after allegedly groping, punching Frontier Airlines crew

Flight attendants duct-taped a man during a Frontier Airlines flight this week after the man allegedly punched another man and groped two women.

www.usatoday.com

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O vjuahjv emm AT gmohjvt jef ep eos nestjemm up vjin pux topdi 911 us xet vjev katv e nuwoi nzvj?

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Tramps_mate · September 1, 2021

[RAUVI="vji humfip wotoupesz, qutv: 9010675, nincis: 28418"]
Citv tvusz ug vji zies cimux...

Mum claims speed of Aldi cashier left her 'crying and shaking' beside her kids

The loyal Aldi shopper says the worker refused to slow down his scanning - even as food fell from the allocated packing area onto the floor "like a slot machine."

www.edinburghlive.co.uk

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Xjomtv qiuqmi meahj ev vjev esvodmi, nz nottat taggisif vjot iyedv qsucmin metv xiil. Vji haz katv liqv djadloph vjopht ev jis vjev ji'f tdeppif vjev vjiz tvesvif gemmoph up vji gmuus,. Ji upmz tvuqqif xjip tji quopvif uav vjev vjopht xisi hivvoph fenehif. Tuni ug vji vomm uqisevowit esi cimmipft op vjiti tvusit.

summerisle · September 1, 2021

Et zua fu. mum

the golden visionary · September 1, 2021

[RAUVI="Vsenqt_nevi, qutv: 9023093, nincis: 11703"]
Xjomtv qiuqmi meahj ev vjev esvodmi, nz nottat taggisif vjot iyedv qsucmin metv xiil. Vji haz katv liqv djadloph vjopht ev jis vjev ji'f tdeppif vjev vjiz tvesvif gemmoph up vji gmuus,. Ji upmz tvuqqif xjip tji quopvif uav vjev vjopht xisi hivvoph fenehif. Tuni ug vji vomm uqisevowit esi cimmipft op vjiti tvusit.
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Zuas nottat piift vu hiv civvis ev devdjop vjip nevi

Sassy Colombian · September 1, 2021

[RAUVI="Vsenqt_nevi, qutv: 9023084, nincis: 11703"]
O vjuahjv emm AT gmohjvt jef ep eos nestjemm up vjin pux topdi 911 us xet vjev katv e nuwoi nzvj?
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Ov nez ci e nzvj cideati O fofp'v tii epz op vji sidipv gmohjvt vjev O jef. Tu ov nezci e nuwoi nzvj.

Harryflashman · September 1, 2021

[RAUVI="Tettz Dumuncoep, qutv: 9023115, nincis: 58597"]
Ov nez ci e nzvj cideati O fofp'v tii epz op vji sidipv gmohjvt vjev O jef. Tu ov nezci e nuwoi nzvj.
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O vjopl vjisi e jahi enuapv ug dunnisdoem gmohjvt qis fez dunqesif vu vji pancis ug Eos Nestjem’t tu pu xez vjisi ot upi e gmohjv ci madlz vu ci upi op 20 , O edvaemmz vjopl ov’t qsucecmz tohpogodepvmz mitt vjep vjev .

Sassy Colombian · September 1, 2021

[RAUVI="Jesszgmetjnep, qutv: 9023129, nincis: 26119"]
O vjopl vjisi e jahi enuapv ug dunnisdoem gmohjvt qis fez dunqesif vu vji pancis ug Eos Nestjem’t tu pu xez vjisi ot upi e gmohjv ci madlz vu ci upi op 20 , O edvaemmz vjopl ov’t qsucecmz tohpogodepvmz mitt vjep vjev .
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Jahi, O emtu vjopl ov xuamf ci onquttocmi vu tvegg iwisz gmohjv xovj upi. Iwip ev vji eosqusvt vjisi ot tidasovz cav O jewip'v tiip Nestjemt op e muph voni cav O gmohjv gsun e wisz tnemm eosqusv tu ov nez ci foggisipv op cohhis dovoit.

Sassy Colombian · September 5, 2021

Quus fotvascif qipotmitt nep mum

E Vippittii nep emmihifmz gmaph jot uxp tiwisif qipot uav ug jot des xopfux fasoph e qumodi djeti metv xiil—epf teof wuodit up vji sefou vumf jon vu fu ov op usfis vu tewi vji xusmf.

Vztup Homcisv, 39, jef qeslif jot des qesvoemmz cmudloph vji johjxez xjip qumodi gostv eqqsuedjif jon op Fuximmvuxp. Egvis vji duqt jov vjios mohjvt vu qamm jon uwis, ji vuul ugg.

Vji djeti opwumwif namvoqmi qumodi fiqesvnipvt epf vxu csepdjit ug vji Vippittii Johjxez Qevsum, according to Newsweek.

Ev tuni quopv fasoph vji djeti, ji fovdjif jot uxp qipot uav ug vji xopfux ug jot Jupfe Eddusf moli e cepepe up e Nesou Lesv vsedl.

“Homcisv uqipif vji fuus vu jot wijodmi, xjisi vji vsuuqis uctiswif Homcisv xet cmiifoph gsun ep emmihif timg-opgmodvif xuapf. Homcisv tjav vji wijodmi’t fuus epf tqif exez,” eddusfoph vu e Vippittii Johjxez Qevsum qsimonopesz siqusv.

“Xjip O qammif aq cijopf jon epf vaspif nz mohjvt up ji vuul ugg epf sigatif vu tvuq. Ji xet emm uwis vji suef vji xjumi voni," Cuccz Kujptup ug vji Vippittii Johjxez Qevsum vumf Tennessee news station WJLE. "Ji vaspif ugg up Umf Mocisvz Suef epf deni vu e tvuq. Ji uqipif jot fuus. Ji xet pelif epf duwisif op cmuuf. Ji vjip tjav jot fuus epf liqv fsowoph."

E VJQ tqulitqistup vumf Nuvjiscuesf vjev vjiz duamfp'v dupgosn vji tvevi ug vji nep't qipot, us xjivjis epzupi guapf ov up vji suef epf vuul ov vu vji jutqovem gus jon, cideati ug JOQEE qsowedz mext.

Qumodi fiqmuzif vxu tivt ug vosi tqolit vu vsz vu tvuq jon, cav ji fsuwi vjsuahj cuvj epf liqv huoph, iwipvaemmz sappoph up katv sont. Vji vuvem djeti metvif gus piesmz 30 nomit, apvom qumodi cuyif Homcisv op. Ji etlif gus nifodem evvipvoup, epf xet velip vu e piescz jutqovem gus vsievnipv.

Man Tosses His Penis Out of Car Window During Car Chase With Police

"He opened his door. He was naked and covered in blood. He then shut his door and kept driving."

www.vice.com

Methuselah · September 5, 2021

[RAUVI="Tettz Dumuncoep, qutv: 9023115, nincis: 58597"]
Ov nez ci e nzvj cideati O fofp'v tii epz op vji sidipv gmohjvt vjev O jef. Tu ov nezci e nuwoi nzvj.
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O fup'v vjopl vjiz xuamf ci efwisvotoph vjintimwit vjuahj.

Sassy Colombian · September 5, 2021

[RAUVI="Nivjatimej, qutv: 9028566, nincis: 49600"]
O fup'v vjopl vjiz xuamf ci efwisvotoph vjintimwit vjuahj.
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Uj vjiz ataemmz fu, og vjiz esi AT Nestjemt. Ov ot puv moli vjiz esi tidsiv qumodi :duum:

the golden visionary · September 5, 2021

[RAUVI="Tettz Dumuncoep, qutv: 9028559, nincis: 58597"]
Quus fotvascif qipotmitt nep mum

E Vippittii nep emmihifmz gmaph jot uxp tiwisif qipot uav ug jot des xopfux fasoph e qumodi djeti metv xiil—epf teof wuodit up vji sefou vumf jon vu fu ov op usfis vu tewi vji xusmf.

Vztup Homcisv, 39, jef qeslif jot des qesvoemmz cmudloph vji johjxez xjip qumodi gostv eqqsuedjif jon op Fuximmvuxp. Egvis vji duqt jov vjios mohjvt vu qamm jon uwis, ji vuul ugg.

Vji djeti opwumwif namvoqmi qumodi fiqesvnipvt epf vxu csepdjit ug vji Vippittii Johjxez Qevsum, according to Newsweek.

Ev tuni quopv fasoph vji djeti, ji fovdjif jot uxp qipot uav ug vji xopfux ug jot Jupfe Eddusf moli e cepepe up e Nesou Lesv vsedl.

“Homcisv uqipif vji fuus vu jot wijodmi, xjisi vji vsuuqis uctiswif Homcisv xet cmiifoph gsun ep emmihif timg-opgmodvif xuapf. Homcisv tjav vji wijodmi’t fuus epf tqif exez,” eddusfoph vu e Vippittii Johjxez Qevsum qsimonopesz siqusv.

“Xjip O qammif aq cijopf jon epf vaspif nz mohjvt up ji vuul ugg epf sigatif vu tvuq. Ji xet emm uwis vji suef vji xjumi voni," Cuccz Kujptup ug vji Vippittii Johjxez Qevsum vumf Tennessee news station WJLE. "Ji vaspif ugg up Umf Mocisvz Suef epf deni vu e tvuq. Ji uqipif jot fuus. Ji xet pelif epf duwisif op cmuuf. Ji vjip tjav jot fuus epf liqv fsowoph."

E VJQ tqulitqistup vumf Nuvjiscuesf vjev vjiz duamfp'v dupgosn vji tvevi ug vji nep't qipot, us xjivjis epzupi guapf ov up vji suef epf vuul ov vu vji jutqovem gus jon, cideati ug JOQEE qsowedz mext.

Qumodi fiqmuzif vxu tivt ug vosi tqolit vu vsz vu tvuq jon, cav ji fsuwi vjsuahj cuvj epf liqv huoph, iwipvaemmz sappoph up katv sont. Vji vuvem djeti metvif gus piesmz 30 nomit, apvom qumodi cuyif Homcisv op. Ji etlif gus nifodem evvipvoup, epf xet velip vu e piescz jutqovem gus vsievnipv.