NFL Thread

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you need to be on the Aussie guardian live blog right now:

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/bl...ancisco-49ers-debut-against-minnesota-vikings

Greetings, the People, Matt Cleary here, I’ll be doing my best to call the Big Game - San Francisco 49ers versus Minnesota Timberwolves (or something) - live from Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara. And it should be good. I don’t admit to knowing a motherlode about American football but I do know there’s a third-string punt returner and/or running back playing called Jarryd “Hayne Plane and/or Train” Hayne, wearer of the most famous No.38 in Australian sports history. So yes, there’s been some hype.

Righto ... Vikings ball. They’re on their 20 yard line, as is legislated in the rules of the game. Okay ... Vikings have a first down through a tidy pass to ... a man. A running man. Cameras focused on Adrian Peterson. Good shiny head on him. The Vikings are 1st and 10. Bridgewater throws a fine spiral to ... a man. Brettling. Easy take on his knees, and it’s another first down. Teddy Bridgewater calls the play in a huddle. Lays down the law. Lot of pointing. And ... oh, Tomsula, how many timeouts do you need? What can you tell these people? We’re going with Play No.284? Not 193? Okay ... Vikings ball. 12 seconds to half time ... there’s a flag. A holding one against the Niners ... five yard penalty. And auto first down. And ... Tomsula looks like he’s eaten an onion sandwich.
 
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Bridgewater, second and Many ... good long throw ... almost made it and they’re 3rd and 1. Top stuff. Peterson ... and Bridgewater scoots over the gain line and hits the deck so no-one hurts him. Oh ... has he made it? Refs bring out a giant stick thing with a circle on top, and they’re measuring the play .. and he’s got it. First down, Teddy B. Top stuff.

brilliant
 
Rook said:
Bridgewater, second and Many ... good long throw ... almost made it and they’re 3rd and 1. Top stuff. Peterson ... and Bridgewater scoots over the gain line and hits the deck so no-one hurts him. Oh ... has he made it? Refs bring out a giant stick thing with a circle on top, and they’re measuring the play .. and he’s got it. First down, Teddy B. Top stuff.

brilliant
Click to expand...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
 

Bridgewater goes deeeep ... and bad, the ball lobs into the nothingness of the end zone. And the Vikings will ... punt? No, a field goal. He’s 30-odd yards out ... and it’s good. The kicker’s like a little Hobbit! A tiny little man! He’s a jockey! Ha. Top stuff, Walshy.
 
Bridgewater starting to throw the hamburger, now. He gains several yards for his squadron with a pass to No.44, Asiata. Then he’s sacked. And now it’s 2nd and 16. Darryl Patterson takes a catch and is jumped upon by a huge man. There’s flags. It’s an illegal substitution. There’s no illegal substituting in this referee’s National Football league, no sirree Bob Hoskins. Third down. The Vikings have 12 yards to go in a Down. Something. It’s 4th and 8. What do they do? They run... and get sacked. Teddy’s collared. It’s all 49ers as Aaron Lynch gives poor Teddy nightmares. Sacked. Couldn’t tell you why it’s called that. But sacked he was, Teddy, sacked like a poor employee.
 

Rook said:
Bridgewater goes deeeep ... and bad, the ball lobs into the nothingness of the end zone. And the Vikings will ... punt? No, a field goal. He’s 30-odd yards out ... and it’s good. The kicker’s like a little Hobbit! A tiny little man! He’s a jockey! Ha. Top stuff, Walshy.
Click to expand...

Hahahaha, that's killed me
 

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