Toast
Player Valuation: £80m
Only that lid who had cancer I believe.
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
Not Safe For Work! Spurty's Newsround
- Thread starter SpurtingLesbian
- Start date
- Status
Donald Twain
Vide cor meum
I can't sort me sock draw out at the moment , tooting crack here.
#sadnessinhiseyes
Pat's Van
Player Valuation: £70m
didn't make him use a fkn dodgy box did they?
Toast
Player Valuation: £80m
Made him sign a confidentiality agreement.
I mean, really.
Donald Twain
Vide cor meum
Sweet Lord!
Sweet Lord!
#sadnessinmyeyes
Donald Twain
Vide cor meum
SpurtingLesbian
Ken Dodd Nagasaki
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/club-bans-irate-footballer-who-6850730
Club bans irate footballer who 'tried to batter linesman with his PENIS'
Attack: A linesman targeted by the footballerA furious footballer has been banned from his club for allegedly running on to the pitch - and trying to strike the assistant referee with his PENIS .
The irate player was watching a derby as a spectator on Sunday because he was already under suspension for receiving two yellow cards the day before and could not play for his home team. But watching from the stands, he became so incensed at what he regarded, as a wrong decision in the 80th minute that he is alleged to have stormed the pitch, pulled his tracksuit bottoms down and tried to hit the linesman with his private parts.
The rather unusual foul is reported to have happened in Granada, Spain during a clash between CD Abes and Gabia CF in the Second Division Andalucia Senior. The Spanish press originally reported that the first referee was a woman but the clubs say this was not the case as the official listed in the programme had been changed at the last moment, hence the confusion.
The referee filed details of the incident in his official report where he also named the man, saying he was certain he was a player with another team from a higher division, Céltic de Pulianas because he was wearing the club tracksuit.
The Mayoress of Las Gabias (Granada), Vanessa Polo Gil described the incident as "abominable and completely detestable" and regretted anything like this could happen in one of their games.
Such behaviour put a stain on the good image of sport, she added.
The referee's union in Granada has denounced the attack and demanded urgent action to eliminate such behaviour.
It wants to know "how this situation has been reached in football" and "why leaders are doing nothing to change it."
The match finished in a 3-2 victory for CD Abes but there was a further twist.
In a mix-up over returning a ball, Abes scored but as they thought it was unfair, the team decided to slot home an own goal as "an act of sportsmanship".
Club bans irate footballer who 'tried to batter linesman with his PENIS'
Attack: A linesman targeted by the footballer
The irate player was watching a derby as a spectator on Sunday because he was already under suspension for receiving two yellow cards the day before and could not play for his home team. But watching from the stands, he became so incensed at what he regarded, as a wrong decision in the 80th minute that he is alleged to have stormed the pitch, pulled his tracksuit bottoms down and tried to hit the linesman with his private parts.
The rather unusual foul is reported to have happened in Granada, Spain during a clash between CD Abes and Gabia CF in the Second Division Andalucia Senior. The Spanish press originally reported that the first referee was a woman but the clubs say this was not the case as the official listed in the programme had been changed at the last moment, hence the confusion.
The referee filed details of the incident in his official report where he also named the man, saying he was certain he was a player with another team from a higher division, Céltic de Pulianas because he was wearing the club tracksuit.
The Mayoress of Las Gabias (Granada), Vanessa Polo Gil described the incident as "abominable and completely detestable" and regretted anything like this could happen in one of their games.
Such behaviour put a stain on the good image of sport, she added.
The referee's union in Granada has denounced the attack and demanded urgent action to eliminate such behaviour.
It wants to know "how this situation has been reached in football" and "why leaders are doing nothing to change it."
The match finished in a 3-2 victory for CD Abes but there was a further twist.
In a mix-up over returning a ball, Abes scored but as they thought it was unfair, the team decided to slot home an own goal as "an act of sportsmanship".
Toast
Player Valuation: £80m
Bring back Richard Keys & Andy Gray.http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/club-bans-irate-footballer-who-6850730
Club bans irate footballer who 'tried to batter linesman with his PENIS'
A furious footballer has been banned from his club for allegedly running on to the pitch - and trying to strike the assistant referee with his PENIS .
Attack: A linesman targeted by the footballer
The irate player was watching a derby as a spectator on Sunday because he was already under suspension for receiving two yellow cards the day before and could not play for his home team. But watching from the stands, he became so incensed at what he regarded, as a wrong decision in the 80th minute that he is alleged to have stormed the pitch, pulled his tracksuit bottoms down and tried to hit the linesman with his private parts.
The rather unusual foul is reported to have happened in Granada, Spain during a clash between CD Abes and Gabia CF in the Second Division Andalucia Senior. The Spanish press originally reported that the first referee was a woman but the clubs say this was not the case as the official listed in the programme had been changed at the last moment, hence the confusion.
The referee filed details of the incident in his official report where he also named the man, saying he was certain he was a player with another team from a higher division, Céltic de Pulianas because he was wearing the club tracksuit.
The Mayoress of Las Gabias (Granada), Vanessa Polo Gil described the incident as "abominable and completely detestable" and regretted anything like this could happen in one of their games.
Such behaviour put a stain on the good image of sport, she added.
The referee's union in Granada has denounced the attack and demanded urgent action to eliminate such behaviour.
It wants to know "how this situation has been reached in football" and "why leaders are doing nothing to change it."
The match finished in a 3-2 victory for CD Abes but there was a further twist.
In a mix-up over returning a ball, Abes scored but as they thought it was unfair, the team decided to slot home an own goal as "an act of sportsmanship".
They would love this.
Dithering Dougie
Banned
So the Irish have a sighting of the Virgin Mary in a church called "Our lady of knock one out"...
Surely that's Mary of Magdalene territory?
Surely that's Mary of Magdalene territory?
SpurtingLesbian
Ken Dodd Nagasaki
Any Athletes out there who need some 'help' with their endurance training, I'm free most afternoons to lend a hand.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/other-sports/paralympics-chiefs-crack-down-scrotum-6851256
Paralympics chiefs to crack down on SCROTUM squeezing as athletes risk lives with bizarre 'boosting' technique
Athletes with spinal injuries can flush their bodies with adrenaline just before events by deliberately sitting on their privates - but doing so could be lethal
Wheely dangerous: But research has shown 'boosting' can improve performance significantlyThe Paralympics is to get tough on scrotum-squeezing as athletes have been risking their lives to gain an athletic advantage of up to 10 per cent using the bizarre practice.
Wheelchair-bound athletes with spinal cord injuries can flush their bodies with adrenaline through sitting on their scrotums or clamping off catheters to fill their bladders then tapping upon them.
This tricks the brain into triggering 'autonomic dysreflexia' — allowing them to achieve more power and greater oxygen uptake during races.
However it also results in elevated heart rates and extremely high blood pressure, potentially leading to strokes and even death.
Officials said the International Paralympic Committee is reviewing guidelines against 'boosting', which has been banned for more than a decade, ahead of next year's Rio Games.
Endurance events such as long-distance wheelchair races are under scrutiny as well as athletics disciplines, hand-cycling, rowing and wheelchair rugby.
"The problem with the pathology of a spinal cord injury is that this response is deviated to the cardiovascular system, including hypertension and increased heart rate," IPC medical and scientific director Peter Van de Vliet told Reuters.
"About 30 to 40 out of 4,300 athletes for Rio are vulnerable to this mechanism."
The Paralympic movement has largely escaped the drugs scandals that have tainted able-bodied athletics.
Revelations of state-backed doping among Russian athletes are the latest in a string of high-profile disclosures to hit the sport.
But with the Paralympic Games in Rio de Janeiro aiming to cement its position as a major global sporting event, the movement is strengthening its defences against cheating.
"The profile of Paralympics sports has increased and that carries with it an intrinsic risk that people will try to stretch boundaries, by means of technology, by means of unauthorised substances and whatever is humanly possible," Van de Vliet said.
He said the IPC is considering plans to lower the 180 mm of mercury threshold it uses in a standard blood pressure test to detect boosting.
"We now have the data and it shows the majority of athletes are way below 180 mm," Van de Vliet said of a testing and education program in place since Beijing 2008.
If an athlete's blood pressure is over 180, they are given 10 minutes to cool off before another pre-race test.
The normal blood pressure during a rest period for high spinal cord-injured athletes is around 100 over 60 or 90 over 60.
Imposing a lower threshold could detect more boosters and have a deterrent effect, said Van de Vliet, adding that no athlete has so far ever been handed the minimum two-year sanction.
However, this could change should the new rules be adopted, he said.
Most of the IPC's doping sanctions, which include life bans, involve athletes competing in power-lifting.
"People think that the Paralympics is a more benign version of the Olympic Games and that it is not as pointed, as targeted and as fierce," said Wayne Derman, the IPC's chief medical officer at October's Doha championships.
"That is such a wrong misconception."
http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/other-sports/paralympics-chiefs-crack-down-scrotum-6851256
Paralympics chiefs to crack down on SCROTUM squeezing as athletes risk lives with bizarre 'boosting' technique
Athletes with spinal injuries can flush their bodies with adrenaline just before events by deliberately sitting on their privates - but doing so could be lethal
Wheely dangerous: But research has shown 'boosting' can improve performance significantly
Wheelchair-bound athletes with spinal cord injuries can flush their bodies with adrenaline through sitting on their scrotums or clamping off catheters to fill their bladders then tapping upon them.
This tricks the brain into triggering 'autonomic dysreflexia' — allowing them to achieve more power and greater oxygen uptake during races.
However it also results in elevated heart rates and extremely high blood pressure, potentially leading to strokes and even death.
Officials said the International Paralympic Committee is reviewing guidelines against 'boosting', which has been banned for more than a decade, ahead of next year's Rio Games.
Endurance events such as long-distance wheelchair races are under scrutiny as well as athletics disciplines, hand-cycling, rowing and wheelchair rugby.
"The problem with the pathology of a spinal cord injury is that this response is deviated to the cardiovascular system, including hypertension and increased heart rate," IPC medical and scientific director Peter Van de Vliet told Reuters.
"About 30 to 40 out of 4,300 athletes for Rio are vulnerable to this mechanism."
The Paralympic movement has largely escaped the drugs scandals that have tainted able-bodied athletics.
Revelations of state-backed doping among Russian athletes are the latest in a string of high-profile disclosures to hit the sport.
But with the Paralympic Games in Rio de Janeiro aiming to cement its position as a major global sporting event, the movement is strengthening its defences against cheating.
"The profile of Paralympics sports has increased and that carries with it an intrinsic risk that people will try to stretch boundaries, by means of technology, by means of unauthorised substances and whatever is humanly possible," Van de Vliet said.
He said the IPC is considering plans to lower the 180 mm of mercury threshold it uses in a standard blood pressure test to detect boosting.
"We now have the data and it shows the majority of athletes are way below 180 mm," Van de Vliet said of a testing and education program in place since Beijing 2008.
If an athlete's blood pressure is over 180, they are given 10 minutes to cool off before another pre-race test.
The normal blood pressure during a rest period for high spinal cord-injured athletes is around 100 over 60 or 90 over 60.
Imposing a lower threshold could detect more boosters and have a deterrent effect, said Van de Vliet, adding that no athlete has so far ever been handed the minimum two-year sanction.
However, this could change should the new rules be adopted, he said.
Most of the IPC's doping sanctions, which include life bans, involve athletes competing in power-lifting.
"People think that the Paralympics is a more benign version of the Olympic Games and that it is not as pointed, as targeted and as fierce," said Wayne Derman, the IPC's chief medical officer at October's Doha championships.
"That is such a wrong misconception."
- Status