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Not Safe For Work! Spurty's Newsround

Spurty's Newsround

  • Screw John Craven this is the dogs

    Votes: 8 25.8%
  • Screw John Craven because his jumpers really turn me on

    Votes: 9 29.0%
  • John Craven is Toast

    Votes: 14 45.2%

  • Total voters
    31
Status
Not open for further replies.
woah slow down spurty, I'm still thinking of penis puns here

I'm trapped in a 24hr News Cycle here mate, just wait until I have to break out the Ticker

PURTY BREAKING NEWS****SPURTY BREAKING NEWS****SPURTY BREAKING NEWS****SPURTY BREAKING NEWS****SPURTY BREAKING


*goes over the handlebars on the News Cycle yet again*
 
I have no idea why this makes me giggle everytime I look at it...

CT3dwBbW4Ac1Dyq.jpg
 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-34861894

Sussex Police hunt for dog taken on golf course joyride


_86753038_86757303.jpg

A woman who took her dog for a late-night joyride around a golf course in a buggy is being hunted by police.
Officers have released CCTV of the woman driving her dog around Willingdon Golf Course in Eastbourne, Sussex.
One or more buggies were driven around the course, causing significant damage, police said, while one vehicle sustained up to £1,000-worth of damage.
PC James Gillies said it was "rather strange", not least because the buggies were later returned.
Not only was the dog taken for a spin, he said, but the buggies were driven back to their container about 90 minutes later - and plugged back in to charge up.
"It appears that a key to the container may have been stolen unnoticed from the club prior to Sunday night, but the locks have now been changed," he said.
PC Gillies said the woman was accompanied by another person, thought to be a man, at about 22:35 GMT.
Anyone who recognised the woman or her dog is urged to contact the force.


 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-34861894

Sussex Police hunt for dog taken on golf course joyride


_86753038_86757303.jpg

A woman who took her dog for a late-night joyride around a golf course in a buggy is being hunted by police.
Officers have released CCTV of the woman driving her dog around Willingdon Golf Course in Eastbourne, Sussex.
One or more buggies were driven around the course, causing significant damage, police said, while one vehicle sustained up to £1,000-worth of damage.
PC James Gillies said it was "rather strange", not least because the buggies were later returned.
Not only was the dog taken for a spin, he said, but the buggies were driven back to their container about 90 minutes later - and plugged back in to charge up.
"It appears that a key to the container may have been stolen unnoticed from the club prior to Sunday night, but the locks have now been changed," he said.
PC Gillies said the woman was accompanied by another person, thought to be a man, at about 22:35 GMT.
Anyone who recognised the woman or her dog is urged to contact the force.

Clearly dogging !
 

Bonnie and Canine
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-34861894

Sussex Police hunt for dog taken on golf course joyride


_86753038_86757303.jpg

A woman who took her dog for a late-night joyride around a golf course in a buggy is being hunted by police.
Officers have released CCTV of the woman driving her dog around Willingdon Golf Course in Eastbourne, Sussex.
One or more buggies were driven around the course, causing significant damage, police said, while one vehicle sustained up to £1,000-worth of damage.
PC James Gillies said it was "rather strange", not least because the buggies were later returned.
Not only was the dog taken for a spin, he said, but the buggies were driven back to their container about 90 minutes later - and plugged back in to charge up.
"It appears that a key to the container may have been stolen unnoticed from the club prior to Sunday night, but the locks have now been changed," he said.
PC Gillies said the woman was accompanied by another person, thought to be a man, at about 22:35 GMT.
Anyone who recognised the woman or her dog is urged to contact the force.

 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-34880124

Man arrested for 'trying to punch' Crystal Palace eagle
_86798710_gettyimages-176731650.jpg

Crystal Palace's mascot, Kayla​
A football fan has been arrested for allegedly trying to punch Crystal Palace's eagle mascot.
Police said Kayla, an American bald-eagle, was targeted after violence broke out at a Palace home game against Charlton Athletic in September.
A 34-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of violent disorder and attempted criminal damage.
Six other men were also arrested on Wednesday in connection with the violence, Scotland Yard said.
Kayla has been Crystal Palace's mascot since 2010 and flies around the stadium at every home game.
The side, known as The Eagles, beat Charlton 4-1 during the Capital One Cup game at Selhurst Park.
 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-34880124

Man arrested for 'trying to punch' Crystal Palace eagle
_86798710_gettyimages-176731650.jpg

Crystal Palace's mascot, Kayla​
A football fan has been arrested for allegedly trying to punch Crystal Palace's eagle mascot.
Police said Kayla, an American bald-eagle, was targeted after violence broke out at a Palace home game against Charlton Athletic in September.
A 34-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of violent disorder and attempted criminal damage.
Six other men were also arrested on Wednesday in connection with the violence, Scotland Yard said.
Kayla has been Crystal Palace's mascot since 2010 and flies around the stadium at every home game.
The side, known as The Eagles, beat Charlton 4-1 during the Capital One Cup game at Selhurst Park.

The psycho! No way would I kick off on one of them.....They're HUGE :eek:
 

This was posted on the DailyMash site earlier in the year


http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/lovejoy-to-join-marvel-universe-2015021195254

Lovejoy to join Marvel universe
lovejoy425.jpg

THE Walt Disney Company has acquired the rights to feature roguish antiques dealer Lovejoy in its Marvel Avengersfranchise.
Marvel president Kevin Feige confirmed the seven-figure buy-out of Ian McShane’s likeable yet devious art collector from the BBC this morning.
He said: “With our new acquisitions this week of both Spider-Man and Lovejoy, the Marvel Universe continues to go from strength to strength.
“Fans can be sure that the next Avengers movie will be packed with plot lines about shady goings-on inside East Anglian auction houses.”
On an Avengers e-forum, blogger Wayne Hayes wrote: “Having an Ipswich-based antiquer with a shoulder-length mullet and deep facial creases fighting alongside Iron Man, Thor and The Hulk is simply not a true reflection of the original comics.”
Feige said: “I’ve seen sceptics sniping away online about how Lovejoy is not a ‘real superhero’. Then how do you explain his powers for distinguishing priceless heirlooms from clever fakes?
“I’d like to see Steve Rogers aka Captain America tell the difference between a genuine Stradivarius violin and a near-perfect replica. Spoiler alert: he couldn’t.”
Feige added: “This is probably not a good time to reveal that Bergerac is in the Guardians of the Galaxy sequel.”




but it turns out it could well be true.

Here’s why Lovejoy actually *is* part of the Marvel comics universe
The Daily Mash have published a very funny spoof about ’90s British TV character Lovejoy being cast in a new Marvel Comics movie. But we don’t think this is as ridiculous as it sounds.
Because Ian McShane’s antique dealer/all-round loveable rogue is already part of Marvel comics continuity.

Screenshot-2015-02-11-11.38.11-600x433.jpg


The Daily Mash piece, playing on the recent announcement that Spider-Man will appear alongside other Marvel film characters for the first time.
Ok, stick with us on this slightly tenuous ride.

In 1991, the character of Lovejoy appeared in a jokey trailer for the Antiques Roadshow
Screenshot-2015-02-11-11.43.35-600x441.jpg


Lovejoy was at the height of its popularity at the time – and this gag was probably partly a bit of early promotion for a new series that was just weeks away.
So far, so good. What we’ve established is that ostensibly entirely factual series the Antiques Roadshow is actually set in a parallel universe identical to our own except that Lovejoy is a real person.
Now we skip forward a couple of decades, for an episode of Doctor Who spin-off Torchwood
There’s an episode of Torchwood called ‘Ghost Machine’ about this bloke finding something called a ‘quantum transducer’.

Bernie_Harris-600x345.jpg


No, we have absolutely no idea either.
Anyway, one of the things he thinks about doing with the quantum transducer is taking it on… the Antiques Roadshow. So in the universe of Torchwood the Antiques Roadshow exists. We’re going to assume that the Torchwood version of the Antiques Roadshow is entirely factual, which therefore means that Lovejoy is a real person in the Torchwood world.

Now the easy bit: Torchwood is a Doctor Who spin-off, so Lovejoy is also part of the Doctor Who ‘canon’
18lqnizg576whjpg-600x392.jpg


Almost there!
Marvel comics have over the years published various Doctor Who tie-in comics in the US and the UK. There’s one comic in particular we’re interested in – a 1988 story called ‘The Crossroads of Time’ in which Doctor Who meets some sort of space guy called Death’s Head, who was, to make things even more confusing, from the Transformers comics.

Deaths_Head_giant.jpg


Death’s Head has subsequently appeared in actual proper Marvel comics, like this one in which he’s fighting the Incredible Hulk for some reason or other.

Screenshot-2015-02-11-12.05.17-600x384.jpg


The upshot of which is that Lovejoy definitely exists in the Marvel Universe
So there’s is absolutely no reason we shouldn’t see Tinker Dill teaming up with Iron Man to fight space antiques. No reason. NO REASON.
 
I've had a bit of time off because of this sort of thing.

The ignore feature is boss, and has the added benefit of hiding any threads started by people on your ignore list.

When I retire from modship ( or when Danny sacks me ) I intend to use this boss feature much more.

Soz about the interrupted Spurter.
 
This was posted on the DailyMash site earlier in the year


http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/lovejoy-to-join-marvel-universe-2015021195254

Lovejoy to join Marvel universe
lovejoy425.jpg

THE Walt Disney Company has acquired the rights to feature roguish antiques dealer Lovejoy in its Marvel Avengersfranchise.
Marvel president Kevin Feige confirmed the seven-figure buy-out of Ian McShane’s likeable yet devious art collector from the BBC this morning.
He said: “With our new acquisitions this week of both Spider-Man and Lovejoy, the Marvel Universe continues to go from strength to strength.
“Fans can be sure that the next Avengers movie will be packed with plot lines about shady goings-on inside East Anglian auction houses.”
On an Avengers e-forum, blogger Wayne Hayes wrote: “Having an Ipswich-based antiquer with a shoulder-length mullet and deep facial creases fighting alongside Iron Man, Thor and The Hulk is simply not a true reflection of the original comics.”
Feige said: “I’ve seen sceptics sniping away online about how Lovejoy is not a ‘real superhero’. Then how do you explain his powers for distinguishing priceless heirlooms from clever fakes?
“I’d like to see Steve Rogers aka Captain America tell the difference between a genuine Stradivarius violin and a near-perfect replica. Spoiler alert: he couldn’t.”
Feige added: “This is probably not a good time to reveal that Bergerac is in the Guardians of the Galaxy sequel.”




but it turns out it could well be true.

Here’s why Lovejoy actually *is* part of the Marvel comics universe
The Daily Mash have published a very funny spoof about ’90s British TV character Lovejoy being cast in a new Marvel Comics movie. But we don’t think this is as ridiculous as it sounds.
Because Ian McShane’s antique dealer/all-round loveable rogue is already part of Marvel comics continuity.

Screenshot-2015-02-11-11.38.11-600x433.jpg


The Daily Mash piece, playing on the recent announcement that Spider-Man will appear alongside other Marvel film characters for the first time.
Ok, stick with us on this slightly tenuous ride.

In 1991, the character of Lovejoy appeared in a jokey trailer for the Antiques Roadshow
Screenshot-2015-02-11-11.43.35-600x441.jpg


Lovejoy was at the height of its popularity at the time – and this gag was probably partly a bit of early promotion for a new series that was just weeks away.
So far, so good. What we’ve established is that ostensibly entirely factual series the Antiques Roadshow is actually set in a parallel universe identical to our own except that Lovejoy is a real person.
Now we skip forward a couple of decades, for an episode of Doctor Who spin-off Torchwood
There’s an episode of Torchwood called ‘Ghost Machine’ about this bloke finding something called a ‘quantum transducer’.

Bernie_Harris-600x345.jpg


No, we have absolutely no idea either.
Anyway, one of the things he thinks about doing with the quantum transducer is taking it on… the Antiques Roadshow. So in the universe of Torchwood the Antiques Roadshow exists. We’re going to assume that the Torchwood version of the Antiques Roadshow is entirely factual, which therefore means that Lovejoy is a real person in the Torchwood world.

Now the easy bit: Torchwood is a Doctor Who spin-off, so Lovejoy is also part of the Doctor Who ‘canon’
18lqnizg576whjpg-600x392.jpg


Almost there!
Marvel comics have over the years published various Doctor Who tie-in comics in the US and the UK. There’s one comic in particular we’re interested in – a 1988 story called ‘The Crossroads of Time’ in which Doctor Who meets some sort of space guy called Death’s Head, who was, to make things even more confusing, from the Transformers comics.

Deaths_Head_giant.jpg



Screenshot-2015-02-11-12.05.17-600x384.jpg



Your long post reminds me of a nutter on the David Icke forums who sees connections in every media report.


Death's Head, tho'...what a legend! i was into the UK Transformers comics back in 87-88...EPIC! Death's Head is such an interesting character, proper shade of grey...a cooler Boba Fett.
 

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