Anyway, I've compiled my own transfer update for you today as I feel we could do with mixing it up. I've only used sources that have previously proven extremely reliable; FYI I have bolded and underlined the names of players so they appear like useful links to player profiles or relevant articles.
First off some good news, Vital Football report that we are likely to miss out on signing Danny Welbeck and his permanently broken body. He's linked with Southampton, West Ham and Crystal Palace. I can't think of a more worthy trio of clubs to get stung by this deal.
Soccer Souls advise that we would be making a shrewd move if we signed Ibrahim Sangare as a midfield enforcer. No idea who he is but I've just looked at a picture and he's quite big so I've had to assume this translates into being an effective enforcer.
The 4th Official state that we hold interest in Badou Ndiaye but a deal is complicated by the fact that high levels of radiation and toxic fall out in Stoke make it difficult to get in and negotiate with him.
Fansided state that we're seriously looking at Bertrand Traore from Lyon, I spent the morning scouting Ryan Bertrand by mistake and have concluded that Bertrand Traore would be a more effective full back than winger.
football.london Report that Gomes has told Zouma he should return to Everton on a permanent basis, unfortunately Zouma drowned in a pool of his own jizz when Gomes sent a picture message of himself and we've now been offered Gary Cahill.
More as we get it.....