witchdoc187
Player Valuation: £60m
I was being sarcastic in my drunken stupor
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Here's your alternative transfer update, which is sponsored by Rustler burgers today. If you're looking for an effective weight loss programme and lead a busy life like me, why not eat a Rustlers burger and watch the weight fall out of you. I haven't been able to trust a fart for 24 hours and its been a truly exhilarating thrill ride full of slightly soiled underwear. Rustlers, for the time of your life.
Now we've got the adverts out the way, on with the transfer news;
As mentioned above we've had a bid knocked back for Billy Crellin from Fleetwood, I initially read his surname as Cretin and it would appear that was an accurate indication of his personality after he had the audacity to turn us down. I look forward to trying to buy him from Wolves for £30m in a few years.
Rumours continue to persist about a move for Diego Costa despite there being absolutely nothing in it at all. Diego was recently taken to one side by customs when flying in for talks with an unnamed club and several limbs were confiscated from his luggage. When asked for a comment by the waiting press Diego hissed, snarled and spat at a reporter before being assaulted himself by long forgotten Icelandic singer/songwriter Bjork.
Moise Kean has again confirmed that a stay at Juventus is his preferred option after reading a comment from @Mikey_Fitzgerald that suggested Andy Carroll may well be a strike partner for the upcoming season. When approached for a comment Kean simply responded 'nonce', which I believe is Italian for nonce.
News of a previous transfer and Phil Neville has stated that signing for Everton was the best decision of his life. Some would argue that evading his dads advances rank higher but Phil appears to have skewed priorities. Phil has claimed he is immensely proud of the work he's done as manager of the England womens team and his time at Everton has left him impotent so none of them are in any danger.
More news as and when I've changed my underwear.
Now we've got the adverts out the way, on with the transfer news;
As mentioned above we've had a bid knocked back for Billy Crellin from Fleetwood, I initially read his surname as Cretin and it would appear that was an accurate indication of his personality after he had the audacity to turn us down. I look forward to trying to buy him from Wolves for £30m in a few years.
Rumours continue to persist about a move for Diego Costa despite there being absolutely nothing in it at all. Diego was recently taken to one side by customs when flying in for talks with an unnamed club and several limbs were confiscated from his luggage. When asked for a comment by the waiting press Diego hissed, snarled and spat at a reporter before being assaulted himself by long forgotten Icelandic singer/songwriter Bjork.
Moise Kean has again confirmed that a stay at Juventus is his preferred option after reading a comment from @Mikey_Fitzgerald that suggested Andy Carroll may well be a strike partner for the upcoming season. When approached for a comment Kean simply responded 'nonce', which I believe is Italian for nonce.
News of a previous transfer and Phil Neville has stated that signing for Everton was the best decision of his life. Some would argue that evading his dads advances rank higher but Phil appears to have skewed priorities. Phil has claimed he is immensely proud of the work he's done as manager of the England womens team and his time at Everton has left him impotent so none of them are in any danger.
More news as and when I've changed my underwear.
orly
Please check with me for Blammo criteria
Both magical and informative, thank you kindly
Even without this mate Chelsea would try and fleece us with Zouma.
Never then.
Danny Welbeck, Arsenal, 2014 - 2019, goals scored - 16. And he scored those goals being carried round on a stretcher.
On point and unwavering as always... bonus point for the obscure Bjork reference. (‘All so quiet’ on the transfer front)
Thank you
Professor Toffee
On and on, over the hill and the craic is good
you're not a loan in thinking that
Sinski
Player Valuation: £6m
I think he is having a lend of ya mate.
Micheal Keane won the league for city
Benedict
Player Valuation: £2.5m
Looks like we've gone back to the days where we only sign the odd player that was on loan with us the season before, hated them days.
CRIMHEAD
Player Valuation: £40m
I don't believe anyone will pay 40M for this kid. He's super talented, but that's a big fee.
Benedict
Player Valuation: £2.5m
Am i right in thinking we have only won 1 pre season game under Silva in what is now 2 pre seasons.
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