The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

[heatmeiser]

Da fck is this? Lollipop Chainsaw will either be the best game ever or absolute wank. Oh, and Skyrim and stuff (still on topic!).

 

[Dylan]

Right, I've unlocked the famous stone suit of Dalrezigen.

Basically you have to have your armoured unicorn to at least level 4 defence before heading to the forbidden forest of Jordor. Deep into the woods if you listen carefully you'll hear the forest pixies whisper on the wind, leading you to a secluded cave.

Before you head in there it's a good idea to cast the spell of green honey on yourself to give you immunity from fire...you're gonna so need it! Guarding the entry to the cave are four Jimwittys, no sweat if you've got the sword of a hundred cuts so don't be a [Poor language removed] and stock it.

You'll get randomly attacked by purple elves on your quest through the cave, I often find circumnavigating them by ninety degrees then pressing up, right, L2, R2, down, down, L1, R3, up, up, up all at the same time unleashed the emperors curse on them and they die pretty quickly.

After about four wizard hours you'll come to Elvirk the ancient Dragon. You can try fighting him but it's futile. He has destroyed 1500 foes and possess all their souls, he's just too powerful. Here's the trick, remember that Mirror you got from the old man with the three heads in Bilchran? Take it out and use that, show the Dragon the reflection of himself. You'll stop him in his track as he looks like his father and this will remind him of his fallen dad. He'll cry tears of liquid methane so simply stand some distance back and take our your crossboy and fire a flaming arrow right into his mushky. Job done.

When you leave the cave you'll find yourself a level 10 assassin with unlimited power ups and your unicorn will be made of marble. All spears will simply bounce off the little f*cker.

Congratulations lad. You're looking the absolute tits in your stone suit.

I think it is wonderful you are really immersing yourself in the genre just so you can come up with a quick joke.

That is a master at work everyone!!!

 

[chicoazul]

Stop casting envious glances at my suit of stone lad or Ill web you all over the show.

 

[icburns]

I think it is wonderful you are really immersing yourself in the genre just so you can come up with a quick joke.

That is a master at work everyone!!!

A real method actor, the Azul.

 

[Dylan]

Stop casting envious glances at my suit of stone lad or Ill web you all over the show.

And an admission of guilt ladies and gentlemen!!!!

 

[chicoazul]

And an admission of guilt ladies and gentlemen!!!!

OBJECTION YOUR HONOUR.

 

[Elong]

Stop casting envious glances at my suit of stone lad or Ill web you all over the show.

HE'S UNMASKED!!! BAN HIM FFS D/D!!!

 

[icburns]

And an admission of guilt ladies and gentlemen!!!!

That's exactly what Sniderman wants you to think.

 

[Tubey]

Jarl Balgruuf enjoying the finer things in life...

I killed her, paid the fine for it, came out of prison and carried her onto his lap ^^

 

[EFCNIK]

You fapped off to it didn't you ffs.

And also, you can carry corpses?! How?

 

[Tubey]

You fapped off to it didn't you ffs.

And also, you can carry corpses?! How?

On the XBox? Just point the cursor at it and hold down A, then you can move anything you want.

 

[EFCNIK]

I'm on ps3. Will try it in a sec.

 

[BlueNoseJim]

Anybody got Skyrim for the PC?

I've been enjoying the Steampowered addon that was introduced last month, making the downloading of mods a **** load easier. Got my hi-res texture pack installed on the game now, finally. Boss game.

 

[Elong]

Have stopped playing right now because the popcorning in the other threads is far more enjoyable right now!

 

[Dylan]

For the Nvidia PC users....they released a new driver that increases performance by up to 45% in Skyrim and other games:

This is the first WHQL-certified driver from the R295 family of drivers. It is the recommended upgrade for all GeForce users, especially those playing the latest hot PC games like Battlefield 3, Diablo III, Mass Effect 3, or The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. These drivers come packed with GeForce-exclusive performance and quality enhancements and are now Microsoft WHQL-certified. Read the full GeForce 295.73 driver article on GeForce.com.

R295 Highlight Summary
New features and performance since last WHQL-certified driver

Game-changing performance boost of up to 45% in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, “the fastest selling title in Steam’s historyâ€￾
Up to 2x performance Mass Effect 3 with SLI technology.
GeForce-exclusive quality enhancements with ambient occlusion support for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, Diablo III, and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
New 3D Vision and SLI profiles for over 50 titles.
New PhysX software for the best experience in top PhysX titles like Alice: Madness Returns and Batman: Arkham City.
R295 Highlight Details

Performance

Increases performance by up to 45% in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (measured with GeForce GTX 560 at 1080p Ultra settings in indoor scenes vs. 285.62).
Updates the NVIDIA Control Panel ambient occlusion support for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim to a higher performance profile.
Boosts Mass Effect 3 SLI performance to up to 2x.

http://www.geforce.com/Drivers