So now on to issues. Remember ... everything works other than the electric aerial and the handbrake.
Well the radio didn't work ... actually an 8 track radio ... with tapes! Mantovani! The reason it didn't work, is that it wasn't wired in ... at all. He must have forgot.
The rear windows went down, not up without help. The centre console illumination and fibre optic illumination (I kid you not) don't work.
One of the two heater fans works, but not the heater.
All of these are trivial and within the scope of a day or so fiddling about, as you do with old cars.
Hang on, Where's the ignition light and oil pressure light* ? None of the warning lights work (consults manusl) - main beam, hazards (it has hazards? Where's the switch), hand brake brake fluid etc. ... all dark. Ahhh geesh to I have to take the dashboard apart to get to bulbs? (An hour of research later and no - a cover pops off ... relief).
The speedo under-reads by 10mph at 30 and 70. Honest officer. For crying out loud! What random fault have we here?
wipers only work if you hold the hand to the stalk. Washers not at all. OK- he may never gave taken the car out in the rain.
I start to inspect the engine bay .... is that a cable tie holding the battery in place, with the positive terminal right next to the overhang of the bulkhead?
Is that a gas tap in the fuel line to the Automatic Enrichment Device (choke) and its turned off? That's why I struggled to start it this morning. I turned it on. It made no dufference other than the tap leaked .... of course it does its built for gas not petrol ...and then the engine stalled. What goes through somebody's head to go to the trouble of fitting a (incorrect) tap, in a cramped place, to isolate a component that doesn't work WHEN YOU'RE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO HAS THE ENTRAILS OF 4 DONOR CARS?
I Like a challenge. I have zero buyers remorse, just an increasing list of labours of love. The car is solid, it's worth every penny and effort to fix it up ... but come on! It has 4 new tyres at least.
Wait ... one front tyre is worn on the inside .... down to the threads! Out comes the jack. The wheel bearing is SO badly adjusted there is around 5mm of free play in the wheel. 5mm! 5 enormous mm where the normal permitted is something less than a tenth! This explains why sometimes there was a lot of travel on the brake pedal, and at other times barely any. I check the other wheel - better - only around 2mm ... only around 20 times out of spec. All now properly adjusted and a new tyre fitted.
Onto the carnage committed to the electrical system under the dashboard. Feet in the air, lying back on the seat squab, a position that took considerable time and groaning to get onto, I discover that all the wiring is far too close for my old eyes to focus on.
I get all the lights working and seek the help of Mrs Chrismpw to tell me what comes on. Everything but the brake fluid warning, despite its new bulb. A look into the reservoir shows the float seized. I whip it apart and clean the contacts when the cork float crumbles in my hand ... bugger! It's Friday night and I HAVE to open a bottle of red wine, to liberate the necessary raw material to affect a repair.
* "Yes!" shouts the missus, "all the lights are on, even the zero one one light, whatever that means."