I put the probably in as I normally detest these types of articles popping up on the annoying sites that link to newsnow but you still click.
Weird this England thing as probably the majority of my scouse mates and family don’t support England, bordering on detesting then in some cases. I’m definitely no fan but would like to think that when I can mask my apathy it allows me to rate them as a neutral, like I can’t do with Everton. Or more likely, write some utter tosh and diatribe about why they're [Poor language removed].
The media hype machine in cranked up to 11 right now so as you’re cutting out your Good Luck Gazza facemask printed in one of the red tops, you’ll also notice every ex pro offering some sort of opinion on England’s chances. I’m lucky enough to have within my sphere a load of different nationalities and soccer fans and like me, they’re predicting England won’t get beyond the quarters, at best.
That won’t stop the media though, and [Poor language removed] me they bleat on somewhat don’t they? The pedestal is being jacked up to nosebleed heights and the nation, most desperate to escape the bleak monotomy of daily life, surf along with it all. How many times did you see reference to Gerrard’s two blatant dives last night? Compare that with the condemnation of Baines. Super.
Anyway, before any slither of momentum is lost, here’s why England probably won’t win it:
1 – Spain and Brazil. Avoid them and it’s cool. Draw them and it’s game over, they’re like a steroided up version of Mexico and that went well didn’t it?
2 – There is no one who is an effective strike partner for Rooney.
3 – That left wing. Scourge of the capitalist world everywhere, and England for as long as one can remember.
4 - Foreign teams keep hold of possession, and England are [Poor language removed] against that. As soon as they meet the better types, it’s adios.
5 – Mentality. Seemingly great when the Nazis are dropping bomb loads over vast parts of the country, but crap in pressure situations in international tournaments. Capello is no Churchill, either.
6 – Foreign cuisine, on the whole, is much better than ours. Food science or something.
7 – And their women, they’ll be desperate to woo and impress some charcoal eyed honey somewhere.
8 – Steven Gerrard is f*cking [Poor language removed].
9 - The World Cup is not being hosted in England this year, and it’s unlikely a Russian linesman with cataracts will be running the line.
10 – They’re England. And that’s what counts, it will end in either a penalty defeat or a plucky exit with ten men – and of course the red card will have been harsh.
Apologies to Mick & Ghost.
Weird this England thing as probably the majority of my scouse mates and family don’t support England, bordering on detesting then in some cases. I’m definitely no fan but would like to think that when I can mask my apathy it allows me to rate them as a neutral, like I can’t do with Everton. Or more likely, write some utter tosh and diatribe about why they're [Poor language removed].
The media hype machine in cranked up to 11 right now so as you’re cutting out your Good Luck Gazza facemask printed in one of the red tops, you’ll also notice every ex pro offering some sort of opinion on England’s chances. I’m lucky enough to have within my sphere a load of different nationalities and soccer fans and like me, they’re predicting England won’t get beyond the quarters, at best.
That won’t stop the media though, and [Poor language removed] me they bleat on somewhat don’t they? The pedestal is being jacked up to nosebleed heights and the nation, most desperate to escape the bleak monotomy of daily life, surf along with it all. How many times did you see reference to Gerrard’s two blatant dives last night? Compare that with the condemnation of Baines. Super.
Anyway, before any slither of momentum is lost, here’s why England probably won’t win it:
1 – Spain and Brazil. Avoid them and it’s cool. Draw them and it’s game over, they’re like a steroided up version of Mexico and that went well didn’t it?
2 – There is no one who is an effective strike partner for Rooney.
3 – That left wing. Scourge of the capitalist world everywhere, and England for as long as one can remember.
4 - Foreign teams keep hold of possession, and England are [Poor language removed] against that. As soon as they meet the better types, it’s adios.
5 – Mentality. Seemingly great when the Nazis are dropping bomb loads over vast parts of the country, but crap in pressure situations in international tournaments. Capello is no Churchill, either.
6 – Foreign cuisine, on the whole, is much better than ours. Food science or something.
7 – And their women, they’ll be desperate to woo and impress some charcoal eyed honey somewhere.
8 – Steven Gerrard is f*cking [Poor language removed].
9 - The World Cup is not being hosted in England this year, and it’s unlikely a Russian linesman with cataracts will be running the line.
10 – They’re England. And that’s what counts, it will end in either a penalty defeat or a plucky exit with ten men – and of course the red card will have been harsh.
Apologies to Mick & Ghost.
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