A footballing dilemma, for fathers

[Bruce Wayne]

Tell him that Shearer has just become their new manager, he'll be off on his pilgramige to St James faster than you can say Halelujah.

 

[Gazdalf]

Start talking about how good Peter Reid is and Stuart McCall and how well they did for the Mackums. Closely followed by your respect for Keane and Niall Quinn and how well they have started in their start to this premiership campaign. Also point out that Owen is far too injury prone and that Martins will get injured in the African Nations so enjoy their goals whislt they can. This should build up a nice wall of fire, then when he starts insulting you and your taste in football out of your earshot your daughter will protect your name causing endless domestics that will destroy the relationship. Job done, end of.

 

[FCConnecticut]

Your first mistake was telling what not to do, I'm surprised she hasn't dated nothing but RS. By making it taboo you made it more appealling.

Second mistake was worrying about trivial things like footballing fandom and not her health and happiness in finding a good relationship.

The best thing you can do for your kids is to love their mother/father and be a shining example of a good relationship. In the end they will marry their people who are just like their father or mother and their ability to have a relationship will be reflection on yours.

 

[Latch]

Get him pissed, take him to the local zoo, lock him in the zebra enclosure, by the time they find him the only females he's going to find remotely interesting are ones who's mouth's moves from side to side rather than up and down.

Hey presto, your daughter is free to marry an Evertonian, you're a happy man again, and Zelda the equine has a new playmate!

 

[Welton Toffee]

Latch blatantly has the best plan

 

[chicoazul]

Monty.

I am the complete package. She is looking for me.

And I get to call you padre. She will fall for me.

 

[monty]

Monty.

I am the complete package. She is looking for me.

And I get to call you padre. She will fall for me.

I would kill her first, and I'd top my dog as well to be on the safe side!

Latch, I'm prepared to try that one or poison the [Poor language removed] at a barbie as an alternative, something drastic will need doing. I remain concerned

 

[zero]

3 words

Laxatives in tea.

Every time he's round whip out the old laxatives stick it in his tea he'll soon get the picture. For added insult take the toilet roll out of the loo and replace it with Alan Shearer's book. If he asks to have some toilet roll just say use the book

 

[monty]

3 words

Laxatives in tea.

Every time he's round whip out the old laxatives stick it in his tea he'll soon get the picture. For added insult take the toilet roll out of the loo and replace it with Alan Shearer's book. If he asks to have some toilet roll just say use the book

You are my hero Zero , perfect , where is the black and white [Poor language removed]

 

[Latch]

3 words

Laxatives in tea.

Every time he's round whip out the old laxatives stick it in his tea he'll soon get the picture. For added insult take the toilet roll out of the loo and replace it with Alan Shearer's book. If he asks to have some toilet roll just say use the book

Shower curtains, why wont anybody think of the shower curtains!!

 

[CanadaToffee]

3 words

Laxatives in tea.

Every time he's round whip out the old laxatives stick it in his tea he'll soon get the picture. For added insult take the toilet roll out of the loo and replace it with Alan Shearer's book. If he asks to have some toilet roll just say use the book

Post of the month!

 

[Rook]

Its not so bad, him being a barcode and all. You could do much worse. It means that he's definitely not a front running, annoying Manc fan who tries to tell you crap like VanDerSar is the best keeper in the World becasue he plays for the most famous team in the world. Or worse a rs who talks about nothing but tradition, how they are THE BEST FANS IN THE WORLD, and how money is destroying the game as they spend 50 million pounds every year in their desperate futitle attempt to win the Prem. He could also be an arrogant prick who roots for Spurs.

Plus unless he's extremely fat and walks around town shirtless with a pie in both hands and 100lbs of beer gut covering his naughty bits then he's not a true barcode. Which means he could be converted. And if he is a shirtless fat slob I think you have more pressing problems than who he supports.

 

[monty]

Its not so bad, him being a barcode and all. You could do much worse. It means that he's definitely not a front running, annoying Manc fan who tries to tell you crap like VanDerSar is the best keeper in the World becasue he plays for the most famous team in the world. Or worse a rs who talks about nothing but tradition, how they are THE BEST FANS IN THE WORLD, and how money is destroying the game as they spend 50 million pounds every year in their desperate futitle attempt to win the Prem. He could also be an arrogant prick who roots for Spurs.

Plus unless he's extremely fat and walks around town shirtless with a pie in both hands and 100lbs of beer gut covering his naughty bits then he's not a true barcode. Which means he could be converted. And if he is a shirtless fat slob I think you have more pressing problems than who he supports.

By that you can never have been to a match there!

Thats me and I'm no barcode! there again I don't smell and you missed that out

 

[jon_efc]

Jon_efc -> Monty's daughter

Monty's daughter -> Jon_efc

Problem solved

post me her pics... n ill sort her out like a true gentleman !!! (was going to say something rude here... but i wont)

 

[CanadaToffee]

Actually, monty, perhaps its not so bad. Having a son-in-law overt whom you'll always have the upper hand in any football discussion, without even opening your mouth. Just keep a handwritten sign handy, and hold it up when appropraite: "What have you won in the last 50 years?"