Chrismpw's letters from a festival

[chrismpw]

With or without your fez?

Only had the fez since last chrimble. A joke present from the missus. She never thought I'd wear it.

It is not her only regret.

 

[scratchnsurf]

If I drive there, can you get me in so I can assist you in sneering at Tories?

How many of us can you bunk in?

 

[tommye]

If I drive there, can you get me in so I can assist you in sneering at Tories?

How many of us can you bunk in?

I'm up for this. I'll bring bud

 

[tommye]

Yep that's what I'm working with. The curator they mentioned there, Jem, is my mates mate who coordinates the kids entertainment.

Years back I helped with clay workshops. Never enjoyed it though. Although I'm a teacher I taught big kids. Not only were these kids tiny, and a mobile trip hazard they also had an immutable ability to produce utterly $hit clay sculptures snd present them to you for approbation.

Now I'm not comfortable lying to kids like other adults, so I found it hard to not send them away in tears after an honest appraisal and a full itemised rundown of where they need to improve (just like government insist we do in school).

What's more some of the little turd factories, when they returned at the end of the day, would mistake my exquisitely sculptured clay snails, whales and pigs for their mutated lumos of malformed mud and nab them to take home.

Nowadays I'm happier to be asked to fetch, carry, put up flags, close up venues, fix Jem's caravan (a frequent event) and generally problem solve.

Anything that doesn't involve smiling at the little gits, or having to pick out bits of children from the tread of my boots at the end of the day.

Love this thread.
Defo my fave.xx

 

[chrismpw]

Awoke at 7.30. While the tea was brewing I went for a stroll about the festival site. Camping behind the scenes I'm right here in the action while the paying festival goers are still snoring, shagging, still drumming in the distant campsite.

Birds singing in the skies accompany the gentle creak of flag poles twisting in the gently cleansing breeze. Silently flocks of carney children prowl the deserted thoroughfares like mud larks scouring the ground for dropped coins (one found £20 last year). I join in for a while to no avail. It's too late, the teams of litter pickers aleady bumble about with bulging sacks of single use plastics that our enviro-taxes were designed (ha) to deter. It's their job to retrieve what we drop and discard.

I return to my brew. In the background above the buzz of the children reporting proudly of their findings to interested parents, my radio talks of a top government official with allegations against him, protected from the law because he is wealthy enough and has sufficient connections to ensure a gagging order is in place. Justice, wealthy elite style.

There's a morning chill to the air in my van as I prepare my toast, so I reach for a spare top. I hold it out upside down ready to swing other my head and the sleeves dangle freely.

It was at this point, with the disappointment born so often of hindsight, that I wished I had closed the lid of my elsan toilet ffs.

 

[chrismpw]

The tee pee is down. It was used to house and provide shelter fir the little kds clay workshop. Looks like some drunken cockwombles last night sought a few seconds of personal 'fun' by leaping on it, since the central pole, a 1" steel pole is bent at right angles. I bet they laughed and had a great time. I'd put money in them being rs, since we're not far from the London commuter belt. Utter turds.

So that means the kiddies clay workshop has no shelter. Luckily it's cloudy today so it can go ahead for now.

Not my tent, but my mates - damn expensive too. He uses it at festivals all through the year. I can fix it for him but not here. We are cursed with morons as the planet is cursed with viruses.

 

[peteblue]

Only had the fez since last chrimble. A joke present from the missus. She never thought I'd wear it.

It is not her only regret.

The mankini ?.......

 

[chrismpw]

The day starts.
Did you know that four and twenty blackbirds were baked in a pie?

Who knew. Surprised the RSPB aren't on this.

 

[peteblue]

The day starts.
Did you know that four and twenty blackbirds were baked in a pie?

Who knew. Surprised the RSPB aren't on this.

Wait until the little racists start singing baa baa black sheep........

 

[chrismpw]

Hold onto your hats. I think I'm enjoying this.

A three piece girl/lady/women (choose whatever phrase doesn't if offend you) band called Wildwood Kin. Not everyday you see drums front centre stage as it's the lead singer. I say lead singer bit all three are important contributing to close siren like harmonies a little reminiscent of First Aid Kit. Driving powerful drum beats accompanying guitar, synth and shaky-egg. So good and so loud that I almost couldn't hear the inevitable blert in every concert who talks, sorry, shouts to their mate next to them all the way through every song - which raises the questions - are you listening? Are you enjoying it? Why have you fought your way right to the front just to ruin it for those who like it most? Are you a rs? Can I glass you?

Now should I go find their cd in merchandise, or am I getting carried away by the atmosphere.

 

[summerisle]

Hold onto your hats. I think I'm enjoying this.

A three piece girl/lady/women (choose whatever phrase doesn't if offend you) band called Wildwood Kin. Not everyday you see drums front centre stage as it's the lead singer. I say lead singer bit all three are important contributing to close siren like harmonies a little reminiscent of First Aid Kit. Driving powerful drum beats accompanying guitar, synth and shaky-egg. So good and so loud that I almost couldn't hear the inevitable blert in every concert who talks, sorry, shouts to their mate next to them all the way through every song - which raises the questions - are you listening? Are you enjoying it? Why have you fought your way right to the front just to ruin it for those who like it most? Are you a rs? Can I glass you?

Now should I go find their cd in merchandise, or am I getting carried away by the atmosphere.

Drums you say ?

 

[chrismpw]

Had another good long stare at the humans stood behind the white collonial picket fence segregating the VIP area, just for fun. I was wondering how much they pay to get to stand and sit behind rhe fence and how it makes them important. Then I wondered how much more important they were. I considered asking one of them, you know just for clarity.

It rained a little. It rained on the important people too. Nature doesn't discriminate.

 

[Mutzo Nutzo]

Right so here I am at Cornbury festival. Very posh, in the rolling Oxfordshire countryside.

As before I've been erecting scaffold poles to take flags, but this time in steaming heat and full sun. The only hat I have with me to protect my glistening smooth scalp, an oversight, is a felt fez.

After a few hours work I sit in the shade by my transit and decide to enjoy a hard earned beer. "Drink it slowly chismpw, for the weather is hot and you will lose your head" I tell myself. "Besides you have allowed yourself only 2 beers per evening - enjoy it"

2 minutes later I distractedly put my beer down on the floor of the campervan, by my chair. It topples and spills the beer all over the step, flows into the gully above the sills then drips into and fills both pairs of shoes I have with me for the weekend that were cooling off beneath.

For absolutely c $@K f#$king boll*$ing sake!

Take a wander down to the falkland Arms in the village - cracking pub

 

[bigjonny]

Hold onto your hats. I think I'm enjoying this.

A three piece girl/lady/women (choose whatever phrase doesn't if offend you) band called Wildwood Kin. Not everyday you see drums front centre stage as it's the lead singer. I say lead singer bit all three are important contributing to close siren like harmonies a little reminiscent of First Aid Kit. Driving powerful drum beats accompanying guitar, synth and shaky-egg. So good and so loud that I almost couldn't hear the inevitable blert in every concert who talks, sorry, shouts to their mate next to them all the way through every song - which raises the questions - are you listening? Are you enjoying it? Why have you fought your way right to the front just to ruin it for those who like it most? Are you a rs? Can I glass you?

Now should I go find their cd in merchandise, or am I getting carried away by the atmosphere.

I saw them about 18 months ago, they were more folky then. Anyway I’m glad you enjoyed something,now carry on as usual please.

 

[COYBL25]

Hold onto your hats. I think I'm enjoying this.

A three piece girl/lady/women (choose whatever phrase doesn't if offend you) band called Wildwood Kin. Not everyday you see drums front centre stage as it's the lead singer. I say lead singer bit all three are important contributing to close siren like harmonies a little reminiscent of First Aid Kit. Driving powerful drum beats accompanying guitar, synth and shaky-egg. So good and so loud that I almost couldn't hear the inevitable blert in every concert who talks, sorry, shouts to their mate next to them all the way through every song - which raises the questions - are you listening? Are you enjoying it? Why have you fought your way right to the front just to ruin it for those who like it most? Are you a rs? Can I glass you?

Now should I go find their cd in merchandise, or am I getting carried away by the atmosphere.

Did you ever go to the old Stone Henge Summer Solstice free festival mate ( showing my age )

If not you'd have loved it - the likes of Black Sabbath and Hawkwind headlining.

The only commerce was a load of hippies selling dope, mushies, scrumpy from caravans / tents.

No glamping, posh VIP whoppers and champagne, just everyone having a great time for as little money as possible.