Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[dave n]

Cheers for your words. Fortunately we are very amicable and she's happy with 50/50 split. I went through a bad experience with my parents when they split which has really effected me even to this day. I'm hoping I won't have to leave, at the minute I can't if I wanted to. Maybe we just need some space. I dunno mate. Only time will tell I guess but I appreciate you taking the time to respond

Hi mate. I left the family home on the promise I would get a 50/50 share 2 years ago.
We are now going to court but even then unless I agree to wait until my daughter is 18 I am looking at 60/40 in her favour.
I'm still hurting now as the divorce has been never ending and pure lies.
Make sure you keep talking to friends and family. The worse thing I have done is bottle it up.

 

[Paris]

Today is 'World Mental Health Day' and so I thought it'd be a good time for us all to update how we're doing and how we're trying to improve our health?

Over the past month or so, by incorporating more exercise into my daily life - even if it's just a simple walk along the river and yoga - I have noticed that my mental health has improved. I try to ensure that I get in at least 90 minutes per day of exercise.

I have also made a commitment to myself to limit my time spent on social media and internet forums such as this one. Yes, I still get very negative responses to my posts from a very small minority of **** on this forum, but overall, my health has improved.

 

[witchdoc187]

Hi mate. I left the family home on the promise I would get a 50/50 share 2 years ago.
We are now going to court but even then unless I agree to wait until my daughter is 18 I am looking at 60/40 in her favour.
I'm still hurting now as the divorce has been never ending and pure lies.
Make sure you keep talking to friends and family. The worse thing I have done is bottle it up.

Sad to hear mate. Hoping it doesn't come to this. Best of luck

 

[Spotty]

Cheers for your words. Fortunately we are very amicable and she's happy with 50/50 split. I went through a bad experience with my parents when they split which has really effected me even to this day. I'm hoping I won't have to leave, at the minute I can't if I wanted to. Maybe we just need some space. I dunno mate. Only time will tell I guess but I appreciate you taking the time to respond

As I said yesterday, perhaps giving each other a bit of space may be beneficial. I'm sure you'll make a good choice so good luck buddy.

 

[Spotty]

Today is 'World Mental Health Day' and so I thought it'd be a good time for us all to update how we're doing and how we're trying to improve our health?

Over the past month or so, by incorporating more exercise into my daily life - even if it's just a simple walk along the river and yoga - I have noticed that my mental health has improved. I try to ensure that I get in at least 90 minutes per day of exercise.

I have also made a commitment to myself to limit my time spent on social media and internet forums such as this one. Yes, I still get very negative responses to my posts from a very small minority of **** on this forum, but overall, my health has improved.

Great Post, exercise evedentially really good for mental health. Good advice well said.

 

[Paris]

Great Post, exercise evedentially really good for mental health. Good advice well said.

Just getting out of the house, even if you're unable to walk long distances or are unable to walk unaided, will really help imo

 

[jinkyali]

So we're dealing with a miscarriage me and the wife.
Only last week we were told things were fine after a couple of weeks of difficulties.

None of our friends or family know.
Remind me why people don't tell anyone when they're pregnant till around 12 weeks or so?

It feels like it would be a lot less lonely if we had people to support us in this.

 

[coollino]

So we're dealing with a miscarriage me and the wife.
Only last week we were told things were fine after a couple of weeks of difficulties.

None of our friends or family know.
Remind me why people don't tell anyone when they're pregnant till around 12 weeks or so?

It feels like it would be a lot less lonely if we had people to support us in this.

Hi mate.

We went through two fairly recently recently/in the last year or two.

The same happened with us with the second. They found a heartbeat, said all was fine but my gf felt different but tried to carry on and then it happened.

It's up to you, but we just told people the second time and it helped a lot. The chances are someone you know may be holding it in too.

The first time only her parents knew and it was very difficult

PM me if you need anything.

Both of you take care.

 

[jinkyali]

Hi mate.

We went through two fairly recently recently/in the last year or two.

The same happened with us with the second. They found a heartbeat, said all was fine but my gf felt different but tried to carry on and then it happened.

It's up to you, but we just told people the second time and it helped a lot. The chances are someone you know may be holding it in too.

The first time only her parents knew and it was very difficult

PM me if you need anything.

Both of you take care.

Thank you.

I totally get the unease. We haven't said anything previously and have two beautiful boys. Always felt the right thing to do but now it seems the worst has happened, it feels so lonely not being able to say anything.

Two weeks ago we had no heartbeat at a private scan.
Last week we had a heartbeat.
This week we don't.

The two places with no heartbeat are at private scan. The hospital found a heartbeat.

No cramps. No bleeding.

Completely confused and we have to confirm it at a hospital appointment in another week.

All the while carrying on.

 

[EFCPaul]

So we're dealing with a miscarriage me and the wife.
Only last week we were told things were fine after a couple of weeks of difficulties.

None of our friends or family know.
Remind me why people don't tell anyone when they're pregnant till around 12 weeks or so?

It feels like it would be a lot less lonely if we had people to support us in this.

So sorry to hear this, I hope you're both holding up okay.

These traumatic things can bring the both of you closer than ever, just don't be afraid to open up to her and she will hopefully feel the same towards you. When you're both ready to talk to family and friends, it will be a big weight lifted.

Life will be happy for you both again soon.

 

[Earwigjoe]

So we're dealing with a miscarriage me and the wife.
Only last week we were told things were fine after a couple of weeks of difficulties.

None of our friends or family know.
Remind me why people don't tell anyone when they're pregnant till around 12 weeks or so?

It feels like it would be a lot less lonely if we had people to support us in this.

Hi mate.

We went through two fairly recently recently/in the last year or two.

The same happened with us with the second. They found a heartbeat, said all was fine but my gf felt different but tried to carry on and then it happened.

It's up to you, but we just told people the second time and it helped a lot. The chances are someone you know may be holding it in too.

The first time only her parents knew and it was very difficult

PM me if you need anything.

Both of you take care.

My heart goes out to both of you for your losses. We had 2 children not make it through pregnancy also. As you know it's a horrific experience and the feelings are horrible. Jinkyali you've just lost a child do not be afraid to talk to anyone about this hurt and how you're feeling the same also to your wife - you'd be robots if you weren't both hurting..I'm glad you've 2 beautiful boys already, Coolino you never mentioned if you've any other kids-if not don't give up mate,we've had kids after our losses and one of my best friends suffered 6 miscarriages before they had 2 beautiful kids. I don't know what they're made off but I know I couldn't have taken that hurt 6 times in a row each time he told me they were pregnant again I found it hard to say congratulations I just wanted to hug him. Both you and your wife's have lost children you've made together so talk to anyone if it helps ease the pain but especially talk to each other and pull each other through these traumatic times, no one will understand your pain more than your partners. We don't need to be hard men when we're hurt and sad, talk to each other and help each other through and don't forget to tell her how much you love her. Sorry again for both your losses. God Bless brothers.

 

[Earwigjoe]

Im in ireland so can't mate .
It was a severe enough dose . Totally wiped me for 3 days and still no great energy . But it could have been a lot worse

Big day tomorrow brother.. Freedom. Hope you're keeping well and feeling well mate. Slainte.

 

[jinkyali]

My heart goes out to both of you for your losses. We had 2 children not make it through pregnancy also. As you know it's a horrific experience and the feelings are horrible. Jinkyali you've just lost a child do not be afraid to talk to anyone about this hurt and how you're feeling the same also to your wife - you'd be robots if you weren't both hurting..I'm glad you've 2 beautiful boys already, Coolino you never mentioned if you've any other kids-if not don't give up mate,we've had kids after our losses and one of my best friends suffered 6 miscarriages before they had 2 beautiful kids. I don't know what they're made off but I know I couldn't have taken that hurt 6 times in a row each time he told me they were pregnant again I found it hard to say congratulations I just wanted to hug him. Both you and your wife's have lost children you've made together so talk to anyone if it helps ease the pain but especially talk to each other and pull each other through these traumatic times, no one will understand your pain more than your partners. We don't need to be hard men when we're hurt and sad, talk to each other and help each other through and don't forget to tell her how much you love her. Sorry again for both your losses. God Bless brothers.

Thank you.
Much love

 

[coollino]

My heart goes out to both of you for your losses. We had 2 children not make it through pregnancy also. As you know it's a horrific experience and the feelings are horrible. Jinkyali you've just lost a child do not be afraid to talk to anyone about this hurt and how you're feeling the same also to your wife - you'd be robots if you weren't both hurting..I'm glad you've 2 beautiful boys already, Coolino you never mentioned if you've any other kids-if not don't give up mate,we've had kids after our losses and one of my best friends suffered 6 miscarriages before they had 2 beautiful kids. I don't know what they're made off but I know I couldn't have taken that hurt 6 times in a row each time he told me they were pregnant again I found it hard to say congratulations I just wanted to hug him. Both you and your wife's have lost children you've made together so talk to anyone if it helps ease the pain but especially talk to each other and pull each other through these traumatic times, no one will understand your pain more than your partners. We don't need to be hard men when we're hurt and sad, talk to each other and help each other through and don't forget to tell her how much you love her. Sorry again for both your losses. God Bless brothers.

I didn't want to mention just in case but yes, we have a 5 month old!

 

[Spotty]

Thank you.
Much love

Jinkiali I can only imagine how hurt your feeling at present. You must feel very bitter angry and upset. I've posted a link for you of support that you may or may not be aware that's there. Look after each other, talk about it and dont be afraid as a fella to express your feelings. Take care good luck and I hope you find peace of mind. Words of comfort feel very futile, but I'm a Catholic and my nan used to say " he only takes the ones he needs" and " he'll only give you the cross if he thinks you can carry it". Take care sir.

The Miscarriage Association:Pregnancy Loss Information & Support

Learn about the Miscarriage Association, how to cope, and support those experiencing pregnancy loss. Access vital resources and information.

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk