Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[larbert toffee]

Just worked it out that it’s been 183 days since I had a bet. Since then I’ve lost a stone, saved up 7k towards a mortgage, built a gaming PC and focused on it as a hobby and we’ve set a date for the wedding. Just thought I’d update with it being past 6 months! A long long time. Times when I have wanted to but haven’t come close to having a bet of any kind.

it doesn’t solve my other mental problems. I still have had and still have really low, isolated, lonely, depressing days and god knows my fiancé is a saint for understanding. The difference is I don’t distract from it by sitting on bet366 gambling. I feel how I feel and it doesn’t get made worse by a bad bet, or a miss in football that should have been scored. The bad mood doesn’t get amplified by the football events. It should be you put on a bet on, you see if it win or loses, no issue either way. Not how it is in reality as I’m sure many know.

mrs says I should see a doctor but I have so little trust in them from past experiences. Feel very isolated, hated, disliked by many and excluded most of the time. I can’t say I have any real friends apart from my mrs so it can pile on sometimes and goes from 10 to 100mph in how it feels, but it’s not made 10x worse by using gambling as a crutch.

trying to take some sort of proudness or joy in the fact I’m 6 months ‘clean’ from a nasty, nasty habit.

You have every right to feel proud of yourself, you should frame your post and hang it where you can see it every day .
What you've done is monumental and the benefits you've listed there won't cover the half.
Im sure it will continue to be difficult but the longer you keep this up the more strength and confidence you will gather from it and more of what you mentioned as still being a problem may lessen and things may start slotting into place.
What you are doing is building a foundation for the rest of your life.
The good thing as well is you are not doing it on your own you have the love of a good woman to support you.
You are doing tremendous mate, keep it going and keep posting.

 

[davids]

Just worked it out that it’s been 183 days since I had a bet. Since then I’ve lost a stone, saved up 7k towards a mortgage, built a gaming PC and focused on it as a hobby and we’ve set a date for the wedding. Just thought I’d update with it being past 6 months! A long long time. Times when I have wanted to but haven’t come close to having a bet of any kind.

it doesn’t solve my other mental problems. I still have had and still have really low, isolated, lonely, depressing days and god knows my fiancé is a saint for understanding. The difference is I don’t distract from it by sitting on bet366 gambling. I feel how I feel and it doesn’t get made worse by a bad bet, or a miss in football that should have been scored. The bad mood doesn’t get amplified by the football events. It should be you put on a bet on, you see if it win or loses, no issue either way. Not how it is in reality as I’m sure many know.

mrs says I should see a doctor but I have so little trust in them from past experiences. Feel very isolated, hated, disliked by many and excluded most of the time. I can’t say I have any real friends apart from my mrs so it can pile on sometimes and goes from 10 to 100mph in how it feels, but it’s not made 10x worse by using gambling as a crutch.

trying to take some sort of proudness or joy in the fact I’m 6 months ‘clean’ from a nasty, nasty habit.

You have done amazingly well,in a world were gambling is advertised at every turn on virtually every sport it must have been so difficult. And the governments pathetic attempts to moderate the industry with the "When the fun stops, stop" message would be laughable if it wasn't so devisive.
Any really caring society would at the very least make regular credit checks compulsory to make sure people addicted weren't bankrupting themselves,but the society isn't that caring anymore. It's all about the bottom line.

 

[andy4efc]

You take all the praise you get .
To shake a habit /addiction means you are far stronger than you think .They say it gets easier but we all know it doesn't what it does is become more tolerable a bit like dieting for me ,I quite enjoy the feeling of hunger after the first week .Try to feel the same ,that you are the one who decides and you have chosen not to bet .Not the other way ,that you are unable to and feel sad about it because that is not correct you have decided and you have proved it is not essential that you can and will live without it .
Have you tried any other hobbies ? I have just yesterday started doing Macrame and it is so easy and fulfilling to make something from string .If you read have you read the Outlander books even if you have seen the TV series they are much better and have lots more than was shown on TV We have just started reading the "Seven sisters " series of seven books by Lucinda Reilly but buy one at a time as they have many pages .You can do this ,you have shown us by doing the first 183 days .

Honestly I'm very, very narrow minded when it comes to interests. I have Everton as it's been there for 25 years disappointing me every Saturday. I have my gaming PC and the stuff me and Mrs do together we can't do as everywhere is bloody shut! Never got into reading, not patient enough, used to binge good TV but lost my love for that (maybe as nothing new is coming out due to COVID). Work is busy at the moment as I work in a company that works with schools so we are having to do all sorts to organise so keeping me busy.

 

[andy4efc]

You have done amazingly well,in a world were gambling is advertised at every turn on virtually every sport it must have been so difficult. And the governments pathetic attempts to moderate the industry with the "When the fun stops, stop" message would be laughable if it wasn't so devisive.
Any really caring society would at the very least make regular credit checks compulsory to make sure people addicted weren't bankrupting themselves,but the society isn't that caring anymore. It's all about the bottom line.

This is probably the biggest issue, apart from boredom I guess. I've lived my life footy mad, always with a footy. Even now at 29 if there is a loose footy in the house, ill dribble it round the house just while im going to make a brew etc. So I've had to turn away from watching most games as all I see on television is different gambling ads. There was a piece by someone i think in the athletic or the telegraph, maybe Henry Winter who said football's relationship with gambling companies is almost incestrious. Don't get me wrong I can sit through an add and not go I MUST BET NOW, but seeing quite a few does make you miss it. Which shows how impressionable people like me a vulnerable to it.

 

[larbert toffee]

Thanks guys for all the lovely messages I have been reading this morning regarding Toffee.

It has really been very uplifting and heartwarming, I mean it.

Honestly you guys are without parallel and I know other peoples troubles are far more significant than mine.

I will take things one day at a time, which is the only way.

Thanks to you all so much, blessings and peace to you all.

Toffee looks an absolute corker, I'm sorry your going through the wringer with her at the moment but you are so very obviously a caring and loving owner for her and I'm sure she'll have had the best life possible.
I've never had a pet myself but I'm a soppy old git and I don't like seeing animals suffer nor the knock on effect it has on their owners so I feel for you.

My Mum in law is going through similar at the moment, her 10 y.o. retriever has an aggressive cancer in it's jaw and has only a couple of months at best and it's distressing seeing the effect it's having on the whole family.

Hope for the best Bri, but prepare for the worst, as they say, I know there will be no other dog out there that will properly replace her as she will be a one off, but there will be another dog out there that deserves love and life that you can give it.

All the best mate, I know it's tough for you at the moment but you will get through it.

 

[brieverton]

Toffee looks an absolute corker, I'm sorry your going through the wringer with her at the moment but you are so very obviously a caring and loving owner for her and I'm sure she'll have had the best life possible.
I've never had a pet myself but I'm a soppy old git and I don't like seeing animals suffer nor the knock on effect it has on their owners so I feel for you.

My Mum in law is going through similar at the moment, her 10 y.o. retriever has an aggressive cancer in it's jaw and has only a couple of months at best and it's distressing seeing the effect it's having on the whole family.

Hope for the best Bri, but prepare for the worst, as they say, I know there will be no other dog out there that will properly replace her as she will be a one off, but there will be another dog out there that deserves love and life that you can give it.

All the best mate, I know it's tough for you at the moment but you will get through it.

Thank you mate, very kind. My thoughts go to your mum-in-law and the family.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

My dog Toffee (pictured in my avatar) is ill with diabetes. It was a shock diagnosis.

It's just her and me in the house. I am wfh and previously was getting through lockdown and all the variants of it, pretty much ok.

This has hit me hard though, bringing her mortality into sharp focus and the prospect of being alone.

I have family close by but in an emotional sense, nobody close.

We are still trying to regulate her glucose levels with insulin and diet and I haven't at all been told there is no hope for her, but she has certainly lost much of her vitality and vigour.

So I find things very dark and depressing and its only now the impact of covid makes a real difference as well. I can only consult with the vet on the phone or outside the front entrance with a mask on (which I completely understand) and it makes having a conversation very difficult.

I have sat awake in bed or have been sitting watching TV for example and the tears will come.

Once her meds are sorted out she should be OK. Hope that happens soon. Pets have been so important during lockdown. I think we have needed them more than they have needed us. My cat has sat with me, on the table, next to my laptop every single day since I started working from home.. If she could type she could probably do my job! She also gets the hump if, like today, I'm off! They listen, they don't judge and they love you. No wonder we get so attached to them. Wishing Toffee a speedy recovery x

 

[brieverton]

Once her meds are sorted out she should be OK. Hope that happens soon. Pets have been so important during lockdown. I think we have needed them more than they have needed us. My cat has sat with me, on the table, next to my laptop every single day since I started working from home.. If she could type she could probably do my job! She also gets the hump if, like today, I'm off! They listen, they don't judge and they love you. No wonder we get so attached to them. Wishing Toffee a speedy recovery x

Thank you very much. I've never been lucky enough to have a cat, but I think they are great. Wonderfully clever animals.

 

[DanEFC92]

Energy and motivation for work has vanished.

 

[maccavennie]

Energy and motivation for work has vanished.

What do you do if you don't mind me asking mate?

 

[DanEFC92]

What do you do if you don't mind me asking mate?

In IT in a hospital mate, you?

 

[maccavennie]

In IT in a hospital mate, you?

Work in sales mate. I think with everything going on and this time of year it's like a lot of people are going to hit a brick wall.

Really difficult to pick yourself back up after Christmas with everything that's been going on and not have it all affect us all in some way.

Hopefully that spark and energy returns soon mate.

 

[DanEFC92]

Work in sales mate. I think with everything going on and this time of year it's like a lot of people are going to hit a brick wall.

Really difficult to pick yourself back up after Christmas with everything that's been going on and not have it all affect us all in some way.

Hopefully that spark and energy returns soon mate.

Deffo feels like I have.

Just work, sleep, work, sleep. Thats all. It's depressing.

Aye hope so, nice one.

 

[maccavennie]

Deffo feels like I have.

Just work, sleep, work, sleep. Thats all. It's depressing.

Aye hope so, nice one.

Yep it's a lot harder when we can't break up the monotony. Sounds ridiculous I know but I woke up this morning thinking to myself "I wish I could go and feed the ducks" lol

I honestly don't think that's crossed my mind since I was about 8 years old. That's what isolation is doing to me currently mate!

 

[DanEFC92]

Yep it's a lot harder when we can't break up the monotony. Sounds ridiculous I know but I woke up this morning thinking to myself "I wish I could go and feed the ducks" lol

I honestly don't think that's crossed my mind since I was about 8 years old. That's what isolation is doing to me currently mate!

Jesus. We're going to stage an intervention and take you to Caldies mate.