Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Cameron Manning]

Above post should have finished. “I think Christie will be there with you”

 

[Brendan Janus]

I was just a bit concerned that you said - in jest? - how low you felt and how Everton defeat added to your feeling terrible. Have you got people to support you or to talk to. I feel it must be awful for you being so close to wanting to end it, and that something like a football result affecting you so adversely. In my experience it's not one thing that pushes people ". Over the edge.", it's the cumilitive effect - a number of rubbish things happening to you - that happen at the same time - and frankly you can't cope with. Most people have some natural resilience, it's when it all comes at once, it gets too much. If this is the case might I suggest the following. Sit down with a loved one / close friend with a sheet of paper. On one side write the things that bother you and cause you the most stress and anxiety. On the other side write down the things that yes they bother you but you have more control over. Now, you might want to look at the things that cause you the most distress, and try if possible to think of a way to address them. Sometimes mate we can't see the woods for the trees, we think ALL aspects of our lives are dire, when in reality, it's often only one or two specific problems that are causing you so much distress. You would benefit I think from lessening some stressors in your life. To lose some baggage that allow you to breath a little easier. By doing so, it allows a " I feel better now that that problem is being sorted out and addressed." In short bud, do what's needed to take some pressure of yourself. Having hugely stressful thoughts in your head that leave you feeling like it's not worth carrying on must be so distressing for you. Try to think if you can, of addressing the most debilitating problem in your life. Aim to rid yourself if you can mate of the ". I'm sick of feeling like this, I can't take any more thinking and feeling so bad " thoughts. Sorry for the lengthy post, but it appears to me you need to do whatever you can to give yourself some peace of mind. You deserve it and its not beyond you to get the weight of the World of your shoulders. No one buddy should be having thoughts of ending it on a regular basis. You've got too much life to live. Take care Brendan.

Thanks mate, everything you have said is right !!

 

[brieverton]

My dog Toffee (pictured in my avatar) is ill with diabetes. It was a shock diagnosis.

It's just her and me in the house. I am wfh and previously was getting through lockdown and all the variants of it, pretty much ok.

This has hit me hard though, bringing her mortality into sharp focus and the prospect of being alone.

I have family close by but in an emotional sense, nobody close.

We are still trying to regulate her glucose levels with insulin and diet and I haven't at all been told there is no hope for her, but she has certainly lost much of her vitality and vigour.

So I find things very dark and depressing and its only now the impact of covid makes a real difference as well. I can only consult with the vet on the phone or outside the front entrance with a mask on (which I completely understand) and it makes having a conversation very difficult.

I have sat awake in bed or have been sitting watching TV for example and the tears will come.

 

[maccavennie]

My dog Toffee (pictured in my avatar) is ill with diabetes. It was a shock diagnosis.

It's just her and me in the house. I am wfh and previously was getting through lockdown and all the variants of it, pretty much ok.

This has hit me hard though, bringing her mortality into sharp focus and the prospect of being alone.

I have family close by but in an emotional sense, nobody close.

We are still trying to regulate her glucose levels with insulin and diet and I haven't at all been told there is no hope for her, but she has certainly lost much of her vitality and vigour.

So I find things very dark and depressing and its only now the impact of covid makes a real difference as well. I can only consult with the vet on the phone or outside the front entrance with a mask on (which I completely understand) and it makes having a conversation very difficult.

I have sat awake in bed or have been sitting watching TV for example and the tears will come.

Sorry to hear that and I sincerely hope she pulls through.

I'll be honest, I didn't think I'd ever be emotionally attached to a pet until we got our dog a couple of years ago. I absolutely adore her though. She welcomes me home before I've even set foot in the house far quicker than my kids ever do!

They really are fantastic companions and I think I've sorted out a lot of wrongs in the world when I've sat there chatting away to her and she just listens.

Hopefully if you get the balance right with her medication and diet you'll start to see a bit more of her old characteristics. Hopefully it will just be a matter of time before she turns a corner

 

[Spotty]

Sorry to hear that and I sincerely hope she pulls through.

I'll be honest, I didn't think I'd ever be emotionally attached to a pet until we got our dog a couple of years ago. I absolutely adore her though. She welcomes me home before I've even set foot in the house far quicker than my kids ever do!

They really are fantastic companions and I think I've sorted out a lot of wrongs in the world when I've sat there chatting away to her and she just listens.

Hopefully if you get the balance right with her medication and diet you'll start to see a bit more of her old characteristics. Hopefully it will just be a matter of time before she turns a corner

Sorry to hear that and I sincerely hope she pulls through.

I'll be honest, I didn't think I'd ever be emotionally attached to a pet until we got our dog a couple of years ago. I absolutely adore her though. She welcomes me home before I've even set foot in the house far quicker than my kids ever do!

They really are fantastic companions and I think I've sorted out a lot of wrongs in the world when I've sat there chatting away to her and she just listens.

Hopefully if you get the balance right with her medication and diet you'll start to see a bit more of her old characteristics. Hopefully it will just b

My dog Toffee (pictured in my avatar) is ill with diabetes. It was a shock diagnosis.

It's just her and me in the house. I am wfh and previously was getting through lockdown and all the variants of it, pretty much ok.

This has hit me hard though, bringing her mortality into sharp focus and the prospect of being alone.

I have family close by but in an emotional sense, nobody close.

We are still trying to regulate her glucose levels with insulin and diet and I haven't at all been told there is no hope for her, but she has certainly lost much of her vitality and vigour.

So I find things very dark and depressing and its only now the impact of covid makes a real difference as well. I can only consult with the vet on the phone or outside the front entrance with a mask on (which I completely understand) and it makes having a conversation very difficult.

I have sat awake in bed or have been sitting watching TV for example and the tears will come.

e a matter of time before she turns a corner

I'm a coward. I'm so scared to get a dog. Missus tells me " kids and dogs for some reason are attracted to you". I love animals so much, especially dogs stupid muts but I'm frightened to get one fall for the thing which I will, and when I lose it, I'll feel the pain. Mrs is right, that's no excuse. I fully understand your pain. Mental health Units have dogs visit as they are so therapeutic. Getting love - unconditional love from a pet - is a wonderful experience I am yet to have. But that will change. Good luck my friend, I so hope things turn out well for your pet and yourself. Take care.

 

[ForeverBlue92]

My dog Toffee (pictured in my avatar) is ill with diabetes. It was a shock diagnosis.

It's just her and me in the house. I am wfh and previously was getting through lockdown and all the variants of it, pretty much ok.

This has hit me hard though, bringing her mortality into sharp focus and the prospect of being alone.

I have family close by but in an emotional sense, nobody close.

We are still trying to regulate her glucose levels with insulin and diet and I haven't at all been told there is no hope for her, but she has certainly lost much of her vitality and vigour.

So I find things very dark and depressing and its only now the impact of covid makes a real difference as well. I can only consult with the vet on the phone or outside the front entrance with a mask on (which I completely understand) and it makes having a conversation very difficult.

I have sat awake in bed or have been sitting watching TV for example and the tears will come.

We had a staffy growing up and when he died it proper hit my dad hard who the dog was closest too - my arl fella's ex army and is one of those men dont cry types but had never seen him so down before even months after.

Still to this day refuses to get another dog. I've got a near 2 year old Doberman and she's great but my missus is definitely her favourite as she does the cooking! would love a 2nd one just poor timing at the moment with the pandemic and stupid prices.

Love dogs me though.

 

[Cameron Manning]

Sorry to hear that and I sincerely hope she pulls through.

I'll be honest, I didn't think I'd ever be emotionally attached to a pet until we got our dog a couple of years ago. I absolutely adore her though. She welcomes me home before I've even set foot in the house far quicker than my kids ever do!

They really are fantastic companions and I think I've sorted out a lot of wrongs in the world when I've sat there chatting away to her and she just listens.

Hopefully if you get the balance right with her medication and diet you'll start to see a bit more of her old characteristics. Hopefully it will just be a matter of time before she turns a corner

I was the same as you over dogs, never remotely thought I’d have the patience to have a dog, then my daughter and grand daughter went to America for three weeks and guess who was left in charge of Pepe, a Yorkshire Terrier, yes muggins!! When they came back he wouldn’t go home, he yapped and barked when they bundled him into the car and took him home, first chance he got he ran back to ours, only a short distance away, I had him for the next twelve years, what a mate he was, I loved him, she’d a few tears when he went, as we all did, well he was one of the family. My wife used to say “ You never loved me like you loved Pepe” There was no answer to that, thought of a few, kept them to myself.!!!

 

[maccavennie]

I was the same as you over dogs, never remotely thought I’d have the patience to have a dog, then my daughter and grand daughter went to America for three weeks and guess who was left in charge of Pepe, a Yorkshire Terrier, yes muggins!! When they came back he wouldn’t go home, he yapped and barked when they bundled him into the car and took him home, first chance he got he ran back to ours, only a short distance away, I had him for the next twelve years, what a mate he was, I loved him, she’d a few tears when he went, as we all did, well he was one of the family. My wife used to say “ You never loved me like you loved Pepe” There was no answer to that, thought of a few, kept them to myself.!!!

Yep, sometimes silence is the best course of action

 

[andy4efc]

My dog Toffee (pictured in my avatar) is ill with diabetes. It was a shock diagnosis.

It's just her and me in the house. I am wfh and previously was getting through lockdown and all the variants of it, pretty much ok.

This has hit me hard though, bringing her mortality into sharp focus and the prospect of being alone.

I have family close by but in an emotional sense, nobody close.

We are still trying to regulate her glucose levels with insulin and diet and I haven't at all been told there is no hope for her, but she has certainly lost much of her vitality and vigour.

So I find things very dark and depressing and its only now the impact of covid makes a real difference as well. I can only consult with the vet on the phone or outside the front entrance with a mask on (which I completely understand) and it makes having a conversation very difficult.

I have sat awake in bed or have been sitting watching TV for example and the tears will come.

You’re not alone in this pal. Dogs are the best thing on the planet. Full of love and I don’t think anything makes me angrier to see them neglected sadder to see any ill or unwell.

illness or not I think all genuine dog owners look like that whether they have endless amount of family around or very few. I dread the day my two dogs have gone but I try to just focus on the fact they’re happy, they’re spoiled, they’re loving and having a good life. Many don’t!

 

[andy4efc]

I posted some time ago regarding my life and mental struggles. I can openly say I did/do have a gambling problem, and while I quit then it came back slowly over a few weeks, through my own struggle of resisting and possibly even a bit of unknowing enabling from my partner. When posting I think i had quit but hadn't quite "bit the bullet" and left a door open for me to do it "responsibly". Think someone said don't bother, even a tiny thing will draw you back in and it was absolutely correct.

Still struggling feeling low a fair bit, however generally the outlook has been positive. Hit a low point with the gambling 71 days ago (nothing major, no debt, nothing just having that struggle of having to do it and having it as a persistent hobby rather than a bit of fun on a Saturday but feeling that NEED to do it, even if it was only small stakes.). I can't say it's the worst night of my life, as unfortunately my family has been through a hell of a lot worse but I can say it's been the lowest I've felt through my own making. Since then I haven't looked back with betting since, still see adverts and stuff which makes me think and miss it, but ultimately I've thrown myself into work more, thrown myself into COD more, setting my gaming set up even more and really going "yeah, you know what the money I spent on football betting can now go to improving this, improving the house saving, saving money for a car etc". Gambling doesn't get the 'credit' it deserves for being a disease. Being addicted to it has shaped the entirety of my life from the age of 18, gradually taking more control. Honestly without my Mrs i'd 100% still be doing it. It is a life ruiner, and i'm lucky that I've had a mrs that has understood and been supportive. Thankfully i've closed any accounts I have but If i had the chance to look back at how much I'd lost betting over 10 years I would honestly throw up.

Also helps that work is actually a bit quieter due to COVID, become good mates with colleague in the office, Everton look like an ACTUAL football team for the first time in years and years. Looking forward to going to Goodison again. Had the courage to try Sunday League, not my thing after a few games, had an extremely unwelcoming experience with bluekipper years ago but reached 28/29 and decided I need to try it. Absolutely thrown myself into gaming, which is something i'm good at and can be a huge positive 'release' for me. Also at the point where a house deposit is on the horizon, even though its gone up to 15% we will be in a good position to buy with house prices plummeting soon. Will be starting a family soon.

I am 100% confident Everton will that positivity soon, naturally. However I feel in a better place than 3 months ago. For anyone else who feels or knows they've got a problem, there is always 100% a way out of it, you just need to find your way. I've found mine by throwing myself back into gaming and football (a good balance of activity) and distracting myself and now I feel comfortable dismissing betting or having no interest. I have other insecurities but most of the ones ive had in the past 10 years have led back in some direct, or indirect way to gambling.

Sorry for the long read, honestly don't know where else i'd post this just to vent it out I guess, but think its a good example that you can feel low, you can be lonely, you can be positive, you can be relatively happy, you can exercise, its normal but just not let those things be down to a problem that you CAN cut out. I dont think this applies just to a gambling problem, it can relate to smoking and drinking and others im sure. I still feel quite isolated, I don't have a social group, just a work mate or two and my fiance, so can be quite low and lonely sometimes, but apart from that I'm still managing to be positive and focus on the positive aspects of things. Honestly if you can do that, then you can overcome almost anything.

Hopefully another good performance tonight by the blues and I can hit day 72 with another positive start.

Just worked it out that it’s been 183 days since I had a bet. Since then I’ve lost a stone, saved up 7k towards a mortgage, built a gaming PC and focused on it as a hobby and we’ve set a date for the wedding. Just thought I’d update with it being past 6 months! A long long time. Times when I have wanted to but haven’t come close to having a bet of any kind.

it doesn’t solve my other mental problems. I still have had and still have really low, isolated, lonely, depressing days and god knows my fiancé is a saint for understanding. The difference is I don’t distract from it by sitting on bet366 gambling. I feel how I feel and it doesn’t get made worse by a bad bet, or a miss in football that should have been scored. The bad mood doesn’t get amplified by the football events. It should be you put on a bet on, you see if it win or loses, no issue either way. Not how it is in reality as I’m sure many know.

mrs says I should see a doctor but I have so little trust in them from past experiences. Feel very isolated, hated, disliked by many and excluded most of the time. I can’t say I have any real friends apart from my mrs so it can pile on sometimes and goes from 10 to 100mph in how it feels, but it’s not made 10x worse by using gambling as a crutch.

trying to take some sort of proudness or joy in the fact I’m 6 months ‘clean’ from a nasty, nasty habit.

 

[kev]

You have every right to feel proud @andy4efc. Congratulations. Keep it up mate.

 

[blue1948]

My dog Toffee (pictured in my avatar) is ill with diabetes. It was a shock diagnosis.

It's just her and me in the house. I am wfh and previously was getting through lockdown and all the variants of it, pretty much ok.

This has hit me hard though, bringing her mortality into sharp focus and the prospect of being alone.

I have family close by but in an emotional sense, nobody close.

We are still trying to regulate her glucose levels with insulin and diet and I haven't at all been told there is no hope for her, but she has certainly lost much of her vitality and vigour.

So I find things very dark and depressing and its only now the impact of covid makes a real difference as well. I can only consult with the vet on the phone or outside the front entrance with a mask on (which I completely understand) and it makes having a conversation very difficult.

I have sat awake in bed or have been sitting watching TV for example and the tears will come.

We had two cats and when the first died at 17 years old me and the wife lay in bed all weekend crying about our loss .She had had a thyroid problem which is very common in old cats but we were truly devastated losing her .Her twin sister also contracted it a year later but the et had a medicine and she lasted until last autumn when she was 20 years and 5 months old .
I fully understand your feelings but she is sick and no one has said a time so I hope her medicine gives her a chance to recover or at least last a while longer .
Now is the time to make the most ,not to feel down ,enjoy every minute with her and the bonus will be the time she lasts .
Most people dream of traveling or doing a bucket list when they told that they have a limited time left -they don't ,they spend as much time as they can with their friends and family .
Covid is really bad but please don't combine the two as that just makes things seem worse ,they are not related and must be tackled in different ways .With Covid we have to stay as safe as we can ,with Toffee you must enjoy the time no more .
Good luck and please keep posting on here when you feel up to it .

 

[Deleted member 48881]

My dog Toffee (pictured in my avatar) is ill with diabetes. It was a shock diagnosis.

It's just her and me in the house. I am wfh and previously was getting through lockdown and all the variants of it, pretty much ok.

This has hit me hard though, bringing her mortality into sharp focus and the prospect of being alone.

I have family close by but in an emotional sense, nobody close.

We are still trying to regulate her glucose levels with insulin and diet and I haven't at all been told there is no hope for her, but she has certainly lost much of her vitality and vigour.

So I find things very dark and depressing and its only now the impact of covid makes a real difference as well. I can only consult with the vet on the phone or outside the front entrance with a mask on (which I completely understand) and it makes having a conversation very difficult.

I have sat awake in bed or have been sitting watching TV for example and the tears will come.

I hope she makes it mate, speedy recovery to her and she can continue being your best friend for a long time. Fingers crossed.

 

[blue1948]

Just worked it out that it’s been 183 days since I had a bet. Since then I’ve lost a stone, saved up 7k towards a mortgage, built a gaming PC and focused on it as a hobby and we’ve set a date for the wedding. Just thought I’d update with it being past 6 months! A long long time. Times when I have wanted to but haven’t come close to having a bet of any kind.

it doesn’t solve my other mental problems. I still have had and still have really low, isolated, lonely, depressing days and god knows my fiancé is a saint for understanding. The difference is I don’t distract from it by sitting on bet366 gambling. I feel how I feel and it doesn’t get made worse by a bad bet, or a miss in football that should have been scored. The bad mood doesn’t get amplified by the football events. It should be you put on a bet on, you see if it win or loses, no issue either way. Not how it is in reality as I’m sure many know.

mrs says I should see a doctor but I have so little trust in them from past experiences. Feel very isolated, hated, disliked by many and excluded most of the time. I can’t say I have any real friends apart from my mrs so it can pile on sometimes and goes from 10 to 100mph in how it feels, but it’s not made 10x worse by using gambling as a crutch.

trying to take some sort of proudness or joy in the fact I’m 6 months ‘clean’ from a nasty, nasty habit.

You take all the praise you get .
To shake a habit /addiction means you are far stronger than you think .They say it gets easier but we all know it doesn't what it does is become more tolerable a bit like dieting for me ,I quite enjoy the feeling of hunger after the first week .Try to feel the same ,that you are the one who decides and you have chosen not to bet .Not the other way ,that you are unable to and feel sad about it because that is not correct you have decided and you have proved it is not essential that you can and will live without it .
Have you tried any other hobbies ? I have just yesterday started doing Macrame and it is so easy and fulfilling to make something from string .If you read have you read the Outlander books even if you have seen the TV series they are much better and have lots more than was shown on TV We have just started reading the "Seven sisters " series of seven books by Lucinda Reilly but buy one at a time as they have many pages .You can do this ,you have shown us by doing the first 183 days .

 

[brieverton]

Thanks guys for all the lovely messages I have been reading this morning regarding Toffee.

It has really been very uplifting and heartwarming, I mean it.

Honestly you guys are without parallel and I know other peoples troubles are far more significant than mine.

I will take things one day at a time, which is the only way.

Thanks to you all so much, blessings and peace to you all.