all good thank you. How are you?
Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues
- Thread starter Groucho
- Start date
kithnou
Player Valuation: £70m
Excellent, thank you too.
Once again thanks for everyone's best wishes/prayers.
Coming to terms with my dad's passing now, my ma tried to follow her soulmate upstairs but she's been discharged today from hospital in Ireland and I'm proper effing thrilled!
Bit drunk but on a bit of high after a lot of pain over the last several weeks.
Coming to terms with my dad's passing now, my ma tried to follow her soulmate upstairs but she's been discharged today from hospital in Ireland and I'm proper effing thrilled!
Bit drunk but on a bit of high after a lot of pain over the last several weeks.
Sassy Colombian
Member: Team PoP
She may have tried to follow her soulmate but it seems she still have things to do here on earth with you all so make the most of it!
Drunkness sometimes allows ourselves to release our most profound feelings, it is okay to embrace the pain that you are experiencing and mourn your dad. The pain will eventually depart and you will be left with all those amazing memories you built with your dad.
Sassy Colombian
Member: Team PoP
@Barnfred 55 How is everything going? Just wanted to send a quick message to let you that you I’m thinking about you and I’m hoping your heart is healing. X
Barnfred 55
Player Valuation: £80m
Hi Sass. Thanks for your concern. It is very much appreciated.
It's a bit of a mixed bag but I think that's probably to be expected. On the whole I would say I'm coping remarkably well. I have my appetite back and am eating well, I am sleeping well, although I have had the odd drink I'm actually drinking a lot less than I usually do, and I'm actually enjoying the odd laugh and smile speaking to friends and family. I've even started posting again in the football forum, but I'm not sure heated discussions on Mr Benitez are the best antidote for my mental heath at the moment
.I'm still having my moments though. For instance a couple of days ago a woman knocked on the door. When I went to answer I stood there confused for a while thinking she'd come to offer condolences. I'm racking my brain thinking I should know this woman but no idea who she was, before I realised that she'd just come to promote some local charity. For some reason it was all too much for me and I just broke down in front of her. Poor woman, knocked on the door to sell me some charity and ends up giving me a hug. At least I've found a way to get rid of unwanted cold callers.
Probably my biggest issue at the moment is one of frustration. My lovely wife passed away over 2 weeks ago and I still haven't been able to sort out the death certificate yet, and until I do I can't even set a date for the funeral. Because she died at sea, it has to be arranged through the maritime registry and I've been waiting for them to call for over a week. I've tried calling them but keep getting fobbed off. Seemingly they only have one person who registers deaths and he was away from the office until Friday. I was promised that the backlog would be cleared over the weekend and that he would prioritise mine anyway, but it's now Sunday lunchtime and I'm still waiting for the call. Unbelievable really, but if they haven't called by this afternoon I have some contacts who can put some pressure on them so I'll send off a couple of emails. Mind you, I did that last Wednesday too and it doesn't seem to have any effect as yet.
Now the initial shock has worn off my and head is a bit clearer, I'm able to keep my mind occupied and keep active. My missus was a hoarder, and just looking for documents like grave plot deeds and marriage certificates I've been able to get rid of 2 sacks of redundant paperwork. So I have plenty to do to stop myself brooding.
Sassy Colombian
Member: Team PoP
Thanks for sharing how is going for you, Fred. That mixed bag of feelings is part of the grieving process but it is good to hear you are coping well with her loss. And there will be the days that are better than others but until you are able to resolve the issue with the death certificate it is going be hard to truly begin the healing process and find closure. After all, a funeral is the way to honor those who have left us by giving them a proper goodbye. Plus is a way to connect with all those family members and friends that want to embrace you and let you know that they care while at the same time reflecting on the meaning of life and death. So I really hope the maritime registry get this resolved for you soon. You and your wife deserve better!Hi Sass. Thanks for your concern. It is very much appreciated.
It's a bit of a mixed bag but I think that's probably to be expected. On the whole I would say I'm coping remarkably well. I have my appetite back and am eating well, I am sleeping well, although I have had the odd drink I'm actually drinking a lot less than I usually do, and I'm actually enjoying the odd laugh and smile speaking to friends and family. I've even started posting again in the football forum, but I'm not sure heated discussions on Mr Benitez are the best antidote for my mental heath at the moment
I'm still having my moments though. For instance a couple of days ago a woman knocked on the door. When I went to answer I stood there confused for a while thinking she'd come to offer condolences. I'm racking my brain thinking I should know this woman but no idea who she was, before I realised that she'd just come to promote some local charity. For some reason it was all too much for me and I just broke down in front of her. Poor woman, knocked on the door to sell me some charity and ends up giving me a hug. At least I've found a way to get rid of unwanted cold callers.
Probably my biggest issue at the moment is one of frustration. My lovely wife passed away over 2 weeks ago and I still haven't been able to sort out the death certificate yet, and until I do I can't even set a date for the funeral. Because she died at sea, it has to be arranged through the maritime registry and I've been waiting for them to call for over a week. I've tried calling them but keep getting fobbed off. Seemingly they only have one person who registers deaths and he was away from the office until Friday. I was promised that the backlog would be cleared over the weekend and that he would prioritise mine anyway, but it's now Sunday lunchtime and I'm still waiting for the call. Unbelievable really, but if they haven't called by this afternoon I have some contacts who can put some pressure on them so I'll send off a couple of emails. Mind you, I did that last Wednesday too and it doesn't seem to have any effect as yet.
Now the initial shock has worn off my and head is a bit clearer, I'm able to keep my mind occupied and keep active. My missus was a hoarder, and just looking for documents like grave plot deeds and marriage certificates I've been able to get rid of 2 sacks of redundant paperwork. So I have plenty to do to stop myself brooding.
Tipp blue
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
Amazing, he appeared to be loving life, always laughing and joking (i never noticed anything not right about him)... it just goes to show that you have to talk about it or see a Doctor as people may not even realize you are suffering.
Earwigjoe
Player Valuation: £10m
Last week i watched the Finding Jack Charlton documentary you were telling me about. Hard watching Charltons demise with dementia and McGrath struggle with his demons especially alcoholism. 2 legends of the game but both only humans like the rest of us.
Bluetintedspecs
Player Valuation: £6m
Following on from Spotty's excellent advice, negative thoughts are a massive trigger to anxiety, so if you can train your mind to be more vigilant with those thoughts it can really help reduce your anxiety. Whenever you get a negative thought, it's just a theoretical thing, not a fact. It's not real unless you make it so. Instead of focusing on it and letting your emotions get overwhelmed, take a mental pause and try to think more rationally about it.
Our brains bombard us with thousands of thoughts every day, and a lot of them are basically rubbish. Just because you have a thought, it doesn't mean it's true, so start questioning those thoughts using reason or actual facts. For example, "Where is the evidence that thought is true?" or "What's the likelihood of that actually happening?" or "I'm not going to worry about something that hasn't even happened yet, and is unlikely to happen anyway."
It's good that you're making a concerted effort to slow down. People who suffer from anxiety often find it very difficult to relax, so learning effective relaxation skills can really help. Find things to do that help you to relax. If you're more relaxed in general, it will help you with your anxiety and help you be more vigilant with any negative thoughts that contribute to it.
Remember to be kinder to yourself and try not to beat yourself up about any past mistakes. You can't change the past, but you can learn from it and do things differently next time.
Look after yourself, mate.
Bluetintedspecs
Player Valuation: £6m
Haven't been in this thread for some time, so only just seen this. So sorry for your loss and the suddenness of it. My sincere condolences to you and your family. Here's a poem I posted in Roydo's thread that helped me when my mum died.
She Is Gone
You can shed tears that she is goneOr you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
Hello everyone. I’m Jay and I run TALKHUB C.I.C which is a non- profit men’s mental health organisation. I have linked up with the club to do a Men’s Walk & Talk before the West Ham game on Sunday, meeting outside Bramley Moore at 11.30 am and making the 2 mile walk to Goodison. All details are in the article and if you’d like to join us send us a message on our Twitter or Instagram page @talkhub_ or to our email talkhub@outlook.com
It would be great to see as many guys join us a possible and we’ve had a good response so far. Thanks, Jay. https://www.evertonfc.com/news/2284094/blues-invited-to-talkhubs-walk-and-talk-to-goodison
It would be great to see as many guys join us a possible and we’ve had a good response so far. Thanks, Jay. https://www.evertonfc.com/news/2284094/blues-invited-to-talkhubs-walk-and-talk-to-goodison
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