Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Earwigjoe]

yes mate. TBH access to my kid isn't a problem at all which is great. My wife is a narcissist. She feeds off my reaction, so I am learning to be strong. Just hard to understand how after 12 years, 9 married that she suddenly thinks I am a liar and has switched sides. Mental in fact, and I will never get the answers I need. I think he is trying to get a reaction from me as he probably sees me as a threat. Just all the times he came over our house he was trying to weasle his way in. Really really tough. But these souls that practice betrayal will end up in the 9th circle of hell according to Dante so hopefully they'll be happy together for all eternity haha

Of course he sees you as a threat, hes not man enough to go get and keep his own woman. He preyed on your generosity and friendship. I hope you keep getting to see the wee man and she doesn't mess up your contact with him to get a reaction out of you. You're better than both of them so keep strong and get yourself sorted like you know you can you've already upped sticks and started a new life before when you moved over there. Before you mentioned you were going through a tough time because of her conspiracy theories, I wrongly thought youd just got bored with her. You've been wronged bigtime by a wife and friend the sins not on you so dont hide their disgusting behavior to protect them. Talk openly and dont hide their dirt for them. You've nothing to hide.

 

[witchdoc187]

Witchdoc you are understandably very bitter and hurt about what's gone on. My advice buddy would be to concentrate on all the things you have control over. For you that means your son. You have rights - in law - to have access to your son. When I'm not psychy nursing I volunteer for the CAB so if you feel the need you can direct message me and I can discuss with you your options. Like I say, let me know if you need practice advice IF you don't know them.

I don't know how old your son is but what I do know is he needs you in his life and he will be better for him with you in it. Concentrate and focus your positivity on his well being. You have YOUR life to live, happiness to seek and you have a lot to offer. Your self esteem has taken a knock but you are a father and he wants and needs you in his life. You CAN build your life, and find contentment and by the way fella, I wish I had your courage and character having gone through what you have. You have already demonstrated you have all the personal skills to build yourself a good life. Good luck and take care my friend.

Thanks mate. I appreciate that.

 

[witchdoc187]

Of course he sees you as a threat, hes not man enough to go get and keep his own woman. He preyed on your generosity and friendship. I hope you keep getting to see the wee man and she doesn't mess up your contact with him to get a reaction out of you. You're better than both of them so keep strong and get yourself sorted like you know you can you've already upped sticks and started a new life before when you moved over there. Before you mentioned you were going through a tough time because of her conspiracy theories, I wrongly thought youd just got bored with her. You've been wronged bigtime by a wife and friend the sins not on you so dont hide their disgusting behavior to protect them. Talk openly and dont hide their dirt for them. You've nothing to hide.

Yeah it's difficult now she's making me out to be the bad guy to hide her own guilt and shame. Just weird now she's suddenly joined forces with some absolute random and now thinks I'm a liar. Can't get my head around it, never will I guess

 

[Earwigjoe]

Yeah it's difficult now she's making me out to be the bad guy to hide her own guilt and shame. Just weird now she's suddenly joined forces with some absolute random and now thinks I'm a liar. Can't get my head around it, never will I guess

Shes trying to gaslight you mate. Trying to control and manipulate you into thinking everythings your fault. Dont allow her to do it, get legal help for continuing to see the wee man, who knows what her next move is. Dont bottle this up either mate, keep talking aloud so you dont let her convince you that her betrayal was your fault.loads of your mates on here to listen to you anytime mate.

 

[David09]

yes mate. TBH access to my kid isn't a problem at all which is great. My wife is a narcissist. She feeds off my reaction, so I am learning to be strong. Just hard to understand how after 12 years, 9 married that she suddenly thinks I am a liar and has switched sides. Mental in fact, and I will never get the answers I need. I think he is trying to get a reaction from me as he probably sees me as a threat. Just all the times he came over our house he was trying to weasle his way in. Really really tough. But these souls that practice betrayal will end up in the 9th circle of hell according to Dante so hopefully they'll be happy together for all eternity haha

Good luck with everything mate. I had the same type of crap happen in my marriage and yet I still got the blame for her affair and abuse.
Don't react if at all possible. I no it must be tough. But if you react and get arrested like I did she will use it against you during divorce especially when kids are involved.
I lost everything including a proper relationship with my daughter and my house but I had to walk away.
It was either walk away though or jump off a bridge.
There is always someone on here mate if you need a chat. Also some great advise if your struggling.

 

[David09]

Yeah it's difficult now she's making me out to be the bad guy to hide her own guilt and shame. Just weird now she's suddenly joined forces with some absolute random and now thinks I'm a liar. Can't get my head around it, never will I guess

Block her from contacting you unless it's through a solicitor. I was biting back when she was texting and emailing but it was just a game to my Ex. She was trying to push me over the edge.
The next stage will be her controlling your access to your child and making last minute changes to drive a wedge between you and your child

 

[witchdoc187]

Shes trying to gaslight you mate. Trying to control and manipulate you into thinking everythings your fault. Dont allow her to do it, get legal help for continuing to see the wee man, who knows what her next move is. Dont bottle this up either mate, keep talking aloud so you dont let her convince you that her betrayal was your fault.loads of your mates on here to listen to you anytime mate.

yeah she is..the exact thing she accused me of. Fortunately I'm aware of it now just hard to come to terms with that she was never the woman I thought she was. In fairness I look after my 5 year old more than her so I'm happy with that. She just wants me to react constantly but I'm aware of this now so I just stay stoic

 

[witchdoc187]

Good luck with everything mate. I had the same type of crap happen in my marriage and yet I still got the blame for her affair and abuse.
Don't react if at all possible. I no it must be tough. But if you react and get arrested like I did she will use it against you during divorce especially when kids are involved.
I lost everything including a proper relationship with my daughter and my house but I had to walk away.
It was either walk away though or jump off a bridge.
There is always someone on here mate if you need a chat. Also some great advise if your struggling.

I'm sorry mate, I know how difficult it is. I've been at breaking point. I'm now aware that they probably want me to react so she can use it in the future. But I'm not going to. I'll have words but I won't fall into their trap. I hope things have improved for you mate. I've got friends a few stages ahead of me so I'm lucky to have people to talk to. But it's been tough I'm just trying to think only of the future. Never thought it would be this hard but nothing was harder than being belittled in the relationship and being made to feel worthless

 

[witchdoc187]

Block her from contacting you unless it's through a solicitor. I was biting back when she was texting and emailing but it was just a game to my Ex. She was trying to push me over the edge.
The next stage will be her controlling your access to your child and making last minute changes to drive a wedge between you and your child

Yeah this is what I'm worried about. When I don't react to what she's doing now she'll up until stakes by using him. Not sure I'm prepared for that

 

[witchdoc187]

Some real decent lads on here. Well done to everyone offering support and lending an ear. Really makes a difference when I'm alone and I'm sure it does for others. X

 

[Wizard]

Some real decent lads on here. Well done to everyone offering support and lending an ear. Really makes a difference when I'm alone and I'm sure it does for others. X

Really sorry to hear about this mate. One of my best mates is going through a similar thing at the moment. There isn’t another man involved but his ex is definitely a narcissist and there are kids involved. She is constantly causing problems that are not only harming herself, it’s harming him and the kids. It’s so important to keep talking to people about it so you don’t start believing the rubbish they are trying to put on you. The guilt they are trying to put on you. Glad to hear you’ve come through the darkest points of it. Just try to focus on your relationship with your kid and know you are the one in the right here.

 

[witchdoc187]

Really sorry to hear about this mate. One of my best mates is going through a similar thing at the moment. There isn’t another man involved but his ex is definitely a narcissist and there are kids involved. She is constantly causing problems that are not only harming herself, it’s harming him and the kids. It’s so important to keep talking to people about it so you don’t start believing the rubbish they are trying to put on you. The guilt they are trying to put on you. Glad to hear you’ve come through the darkest points of it. Just try to focus on your relationship with your kid and know you are the one in the right here.

cheers mate.Im not out the woods yet but at least i am aware. So I can now take control

 

[ForeverBlue92]

Block her from contacting you unless it's through a solicitor. I was biting back when she was texting and emailing but it was just a game to my Ex. She was trying to push me over the edge.
The next stage will be her controlling your access to your child and making last minute changes to drive a wedge between you and your child

Stories like yours and @witchdoc187 wind me up when you see all the "do better" nonsense out there aimed towards men when there are more than a fair share of nasty manipulative women in our society which never gets highlighted in the media.

Hope you both get to stay in touch with your kids regularly lads - nothing worse than seeing kids used as a weapon by one parent.

 

[Earwigjoe]

Stories like yours and @witchdoc187 wind me up when you see all the "do better" nonsense out there aimed towards men when there are more than a fair share of nasty manipulative women in our society which never gets highlighted in the media.

Hope you both get to stay in touch with your kids regularly lads - nothing worse than seeing kids used as a weapon by one parent.

I think thats the world we live in now mate. The Nuclear family always under attack and its always the man the fathers fault. Fathers often betrayed as controlling, selfish dumbasses.

 

[witchdoc187]

Stories like yours and @witchdoc187 wind me up when you see all the "do better" nonsense out there aimed towards men when there are more than a fair share of nasty manipulative women in our society which never gets highlighted in the media.

Hope you both get to stay in touch with your kids regularly lads - nothing worse than seeing kids used as a weapon by one parent.

tbf to mine I have had no problems with access. People always assume its men doing it to women but its very common the other way