Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Woolverhampton_Blue]

Thank you to everyone for the love and support.

My best mate came over and we had a good chat for a few hours. A big part of my addiction has been trying to fill an empty hole which is probably me craving some sort of ‘meaning’ or fulfilment in life - a few hours with someone you love and share an intellectual connection with fills that void completely.

I need to stay off the drugs first and foremost but the biggest task is to find some sort of endeavour that makes me feel alive. That’s no easy thing but it’s the only way to attain lasting peace. It’s definitely possible.

Again, thank you for the support. This place is an absolute God send in times of crisis. No doubt I’ll have wobbles going forward and will need to unload in here again, but I feel some semblance of hope and that is the most valuable thing I can have as things stand.

 

[Earwigjoe]

Thank you to everyone for the love and support.

My best mate came over and we had a good chat for a few hours. A big part of my addiction has been trying to fill an empty hole which is probably me craving some sort of ‘meaning’ or fulfilment in life - a few hours with someone you love and share an intellectual connection with fills that void completely.

I need to stay off the drugs first and foremost but the biggest task is to find some sort of endeavour that makes me feel alive. That’s no easy thing but it’s the only way to attain lasting peace. It’s definitely possible.

Again, thank you for the support. This place is an absolute God send in times of crisis. No doubt I’ll have wobbles going forward and will need to unload in here again, but I feel some semblance of hope and that is the most valuable thing I can have as things stand.

We're all here for you always mate?

 

[ForeverBlue92]

Thank you to everyone for the love and support.

My best mate came over and we had a good chat for a few hours. A big part of my addiction has been trying to fill an empty hole which is probably me craving some sort of ‘meaning’ or fulfilment in life - a few hours with someone you love and share an intellectual connection with fills that void completely.

I need to stay off the drugs first and foremost but the biggest task is to find some sort of endeavour that makes me feel alive. That’s no easy thing but it’s the only way to attain lasting peace. It’s definitely possible.

Again, thank you for the support. This place is an absolute God send in times of crisis. No doubt I’ll have wobbles going forward and will need to unload in here again, but I feel some semblance of hope and that is the most valuable thing I can have as things stand.

As my Grandad used to say - you're a long time dead so enjoy the limited time you have on this earth.

I've been to a few funerals since the Pandemic hit (1 COVID related and 2 other causes) and it hits you how quickly time goes when 2 of those who passed away were in their 50's.

Life has its ups and downs mate you just got to go with it and do your best to avoid the things that can put you in a dark place. I imagine you probably have already done so but get speaking to a counselor/rehab about the addiction and see what they can do to help you overcome it x

 

[Woolverhampton_Blue]

Same here mate . I’ve been a coke head most of my adult life up until the last couple of years . even now I have the odd reckless moment and end up back on it . I’ve never attempted the 12 steps but I am considering it .

a mate showed me this a couple of weeks ago. When your head Is in a better place maybe give it a watch

My main addiction is cocaine. Do you remember that feeling you had as a teenager where anything was possible? As I entered my mid twenties it started to die - coke gave me that feeling back and I chased and chased. Inevitably it doesn’t even provide that after a while and you’re just smashing bags because you’re an addict.

 

[Harryflashman]

Thank you to everyone for the love and support.

My best mate came over and we had a good chat for a few hours. A big part of my addiction has been trying to fill an empty hole which is probably me craving some sort of ‘meaning’ or fulfilment in life - a few hours with someone you love and share an intellectual connection with fills that void completely.

I need to stay off the drugs first and foremost but the biggest task is to find some sort of endeavour that makes me feel alive. That’s no easy thing but it’s the only way to attain lasting peace. It’s definitely possible.

Again, thank you for the support. This place is an absolute God send in times of crisis. No doubt I’ll have wobbles going forward and will need to unload in here again, but I feel some semblance of hope and that is the most valuable thing I can have as things stand.

That’s absolutely brilliant news talking can be such a help , especially with someone you’re so close with .

Not to make it about me , so I hope you don’t think I’m doing that , when I struggled many years ago I tried to fashion some kind of structure around myself. With me it started with getting up , making my bed , washing , picking my clothes , ensuring they were clean even matching then exercising to the point on occasion I was shattered but I felt like I’d earned something and things then fell together gradually together from there but it was a journey . I totally get everyone is different and I’m sure others have much better advice but that led to me planning meals , I felt a little better about myself so I was perhaps a little happier about seeing people even if I was in turmoil inside . Putting aside time to read or listen to music , have a coffee or a water after a walk . It all helped me. It’s one of the reasons lockdown shook me up because I’d had so many years of a coping strategy.

Ultimately I imagine none of that is of any use but 10/15 years ago I never thought I’d be where I am now in fact I never thought I’d be here I was lost .I had different issues to you mate but my PTSD manifested itself in a way that I didn’t see things ending well for me . With the help of a close friend or two and getting to grips with myself and recognising my triggers and my coping mechanisms my life is a lot different now. I’m sorry for rambling and no doubt being annoying but honestly reach out any time you want I’m happy to help or to bore you in submission with a wall of text .

Look after yourself mate but know that lots of people are here .

 

[Harryflashman]

My main addiction is cocaine. Do you remember that feeling you had as a teenager where anything was possible? As I entered my mid twenties it started to die - coke gave me that feeling back and I chased and chased. Inevitably it doesn’t even provide that after a while and you’re just smashing bags because you’re an addict.

I can absolutely see that and I’ve no clue what you’re going through fella although I can imagine but recognising the issue and being prepared to verbalise it feels like a huge step .

 

[WilliamPerry]

My main addiction is cocaine. Do you remember that feeling you had as a teenager where anything was possible? As I entered my mid twenties it started to die - coke gave me that feeling back and I chased and chased. Inevitably it doesn’t even provide that after a while and you’re just smashing bags because you’re an addict.

I know exactly what you mean mate . I used to do it when I was younger because I had a good time on it ( or I thought I did) but since my 30’s I’ve done it more just to forget about life as mine is pretty empty if I’m honest . But coke might take me out of it for a few days but the comedown and depression that comes after it is just not worth the hassle ,

I mostly avoid the beer now too as I know I make bad choices after a few pints . It means I have no social life but I would have that than the tornado of misery that getting on the beak usually causes me.

ive genuinely started to enjoy being sober. I’m a better person without drink and drugs . Sometimes my brain forgets that though so if I mess up i try to not be too hard on myself .

Good luck mate

 

[Bluetintedspecs]

Thank you to everyone for the love and support.

My best mate came over and we had a good chat for a few hours. A big part of my addiction has been trying to fill an empty hole which is probably me craving some sort of ‘meaning’ or fulfilment in life - a few hours with someone you love and share an intellectual connection with fills that void completely.

I need to stay off the drugs first and foremost but the biggest task is to find some sort of endeavour that makes me feel alive. That’s no easy thing but it’s the only way to attain lasting peace. It’s definitely possible.

Again, thank you for the support. This place is an absolute God send in times of crisis. No doubt I’ll have wobbles going forward and will need to unload in here again, but I feel some semblance of hope and that is the most valuable thing I can have as things stand.

This post just put a huge smile on my face. There's always hope, mate. Keep talking, keep posting in here and let us know how you're getting on.

All the best.

 

[coollino]

Thank you to everyone for the love and support.

My best mate came over and we had a good chat for a few hours. A big part of my addiction has been trying to fill an empty hole which is probably me craving some sort of ‘meaning’ or fulfilment in life - a few hours with someone you love and share an intellectual connection with fills that void completely.

I need to stay off the drugs first and foremost but the biggest task is to find some sort of endeavour that makes me feel alive. That’s no easy thing but it’s the only way to attain lasting peace. It’s definitely possible.

Again, thank you for the support. This place is an absolute God send in times of crisis. No doubt I’ll have wobbles going forward and will need to unload in here again, but I feel some semblance of hope and that is the most valuable thing I can have as things stand.

obviously its different for different people, but have you ever thought about running/cycling (or any other type of exercise)?

a mate who was an alcoholic (borderline coke too)a nd it was running that got him off drinking, he now runs marathons in canada monthly and fully sober.

as someone who used to take a fair few drugs (i had to go see someone over my daily ketamine use at uni), I'd say running is the closest 'alive' i've had. you'll probs hate it for a while, but it could change. there is running thread if you fancy chatting to some people about it.

 

[Sassy Colombian]

Thank you for the empathic response and understanding. Your assessment is correct, from the scant details she divulged, she was in a turmultous and abusive relationship for two and half years. Taking that into further consideration only after my transgressions has further compounded my guilt and despair. I attempted to convey the points you suggested, about how my insecurities and self doubt played a role in my dishonesty, but she wasn't very receptive to those notions, asserting that trust has been decimated and a relationship wasn't feasible. After the initial confrontation, I even sent a brief text just reiterating how I felt atrocious violating her trust just due to my self esteem deficiencies and how I would provide her space and let her be the one to reinitiate contact. She responded with a text that had an air of finality saying she appreciated the message , mentioned I made her happy but then stated she would hope to talk to me again one day and take care. I've tried to curtail the bouts of remorse but it's just daily onslaught of anguish and self loathing that I cant quash. It's just difficult to extend myself absolution when the ramifications of my actions have been so devastating. I just miss the regular casual dialogue we had, now the days feel empty. I keep trying to occupy myself with distractions but it hasn't been effective. But once again thank you and the other posters for the thoughtful advice and support. Very encouraging stuff.

@Curtis you tried. You came clean and were honest about what led to your lie but it seems this girl has been hurt badly before and she is not willing to give you a chance That’s unfortunate because you thought you had a connection, but it doesn’t seem it was strong enough for her to be willing to forgive you. Thus it seems to me that she may also have some internal issues that she needs to work on, it is not just you. It just wasn’t meant to be. But out of this relationship you have learned a lesson about honesty so I hope you can stop the onslaught of anguish and self loathing, don’t punish yourself like that anymore. I would suggest going back into the dating platform and trying to meet another girl, I’m sure there is someone out there waiting to be found. You just need to continue searching, don’t let this recent experience deter you from finding a lady friend with whom to connect again. Best of luck but we are here for you if you need to reach out again.

 

[Barnfred 55]

Sounds like you need to sit the wife down and tell her how you feel mate - it'll only get worse if you dont open up and tell her how you're feeling.

Sadly seems to be a recurring theme that as many blokes settle down with marriage/kids and become more laid back in nature in comparison from their single/youth days the women often seem to change and go from being the laid back ones to somewhat erratic in their behaviour/mood.

Been a worry of mine for years and why I never planned to settle down then accidentally knocked my now missus up lol

Should have kept it in your trousers FB lol

 

[Barnfred 55]

I'm sure Woolverhampton Blue won't mind me mentioning that I have been in direct contact with him and offered him my support and some suggestions. Anything said between us shall remain confidential but he is aware that he can DM me anytime and if need be, I will take the most appropriate steps I feel it takes to keep him safe, if he allows me. Needless to say, the fella is struggling and as ever your support on here is outstanding.

I hope this post gives those of you who are concerned a little reassurence he is not without moral support from all of us.

Well done mate. Above and beyond as usual.

 

[Woolverhampton_Blue]

obviously its different for different people, but have you ever thought about running/cycling (or any other type of exercise)?

a mate who was an alcoholic (borderline coke too)a nd it was running that got him off drinking, he now runs marathons in canada monthly and fully sober.

as someone who used to take a fair few drugs (i had to go see someone over my daily ketamine use at uni), I'd say running is the closest 'alive' i've had. you'll probs hate it for a while, but it could change. there is running thread if you fancy chatting to some people about it.

I hate running tbh. I see it as a means to an end, not an end in itself. I love hiking and ‘climbing’ and it’s one of the few physical pursuits I’m good at (I’m 6 ft 7 with long legs). Problem is I don’t drive so that limits what I can do.

Ketamine is one of the few drugs I’ve never really taken to. I had a very heavy spell on mushrooms in my early twenties (my favourite drug by a mile) so I enjoy hallucinogenic drugs, but K is hard to place. Neither here nor there for me.

I’m an idealist at heart so the ‘alive’ feeling I talk about isn’t so much physical as intellectual. My friend who came over to comfort me did philosophy at Kings College Cambridge - he’s fiercely intelligent but we grew up together and just chatting with him makes me feel so full of hope and ‘alive’.

All that being said I think the idea of a physical pursuit to replace drug use is a solid idea. Just need to find the right thing.

 

[David09]

I hate running tbh. I see it as a means to an end, not an end in itself. I love hiking and ‘climbing’ and it’s one of the few physical pursuits I’m good at (I’m 6 ft 7 with long legs). Problem is I don’t drive so that limits what I can do.

Ketamine is one of the few drugs I’ve never really taken to. I had a very heavy spell on mushrooms in my early twenties (my favourite drug by a mile) so I enjoy hallucinogenic drugs, but K is hard to place. Neither here nor there for me.

I’m an idealist at heart so the ‘alive’ feeling I talk about isn’t so much physical as intellectual. My friend who came over to comfort me did philosophy at Kings College Cambridge - he’s fiercely intelligent but we grew up together and just chatting with him makes me feel so full of hope and ‘alive’.

All that being said I think the idea of a physical pursuit to replace drug use is a solid idea. Just need to find the right thing.

Hi mate. Music and exercise has really helped me over the past few years when I've been in a mess. I've really cut down on my alcohol as well as it was making my feelings worse.
There is the park run in the big park in the middle of Wolverhampton which might be a challenge you enjoy.
I'm from Telford and I've done it a couple of times.
It's 3 laps(3 miles) round the park. Some people do it in 15 minutes others take there time and finish it in an hour. It's a fun run rather than a race every Saturday at 9am.

 

[coollino]

I hate running tbh. I see it as a means to an end, not an end in itself. I love hiking and ‘climbing’ and it’s one of the few physical pursuits I’m good at (I’m 6 ft 7 with long legs). Problem is I don’t drive so that limits what I can do.

Ketamine is one of the few drugs I’ve never really taken to. I had a very heavy spell on mushrooms in my early twenties (my favourite drug by a mile) so I enjoy hallucinogenic drugs, but K is hard to place. Neither here nor there for me.

I’m an idealist at heart so the ‘alive’ feeling I talk about isn’t so much physical as intellectual. My friend who came over to comfort me did philosophy at Kings College Cambridge - he’s fiercely intelligent but we grew up together and just chatting with him makes me feel so full of hope and ‘alive’.

All that being said I think the idea of a physical pursuit to replace drug use is a solid idea. Just need to find the right thing.

I guess mountain/off road biking could be an option. Sort of ties in with what you like plus stops as much need for a car.

I was kind of microdosing k and it just became the norm. Nothing bad really happened from it, just obviously not a good thing to rely on. So cheap too. Started off as taking it at after parties from the club and it was huge in Oxford at the time.

All nice and innocent at the time until you are taking some before a lecture at 10am without a care in the world.