Hey guys, just a quick update.
Managed to get my wife to have a decent conversation with me. Went full mea culpa but tried to outline how my head has been the last few months. Also explained that I was going to the doctor about it today. She said that it would explain a lot of the stuff she's been on me about for a while now (generally not taking care of myself, working too hard, doing out of character stuff I hadn't noticed myself) was, all told, pretty understanding but understandably pissed off and hurt by what I'd done: so that wasn't as bad as I feared.
Doctor this morning I was pretty stern on what I wanted from him and walked out of there with a referral letter for a consultant psychologist for assessment for ADHD/ various other stuff.
All told, pretty good 12 hours.
Once again, big thanks to everybody whos taken the time to read and to everyone who offered their advice. You're all fantastic.