Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[andy4efc]

I feel like in such a bad place at the moment. I feel so isolated from the world, i have co-workers who show no real interest in socialising out of work but have no hesitation in putting stuff on me in work when I’m loaded with stuff to do. I have no real release at the moment in gaming, have footy once a week and even then the other week I had an anxiety attack before playing. Literally just fresh from a four day trip in wales with the wife and doesnt feel like it has done anything to help. I’ve just quit smoking a month ago, no trouble, quit gambling about 16 months ago, no trouble (although it does feel an urge) and yet constantly feel trapped or isolated.

Constantly reminded I have absolutely nobody other than my wife, my family are tiny, my two brothers don’t ever get in touch unless they want something. Massively undervalued in work but have no way out because I’m on a wage thats alright big picture but they’ve not got me any qualifications where I could actually apply for jobs in a similar field so if I want to leave I’ll have to take a pay cut which is just unaffordable. In a company that take short cuts, commit some very dodgy things. Tried to get myself out there with local clubs to try and help lose weight but nobody taking me up on just being an extra goalkeeper in training or even just help doing drills for goalkeepers. I’ve got Wednesday - Friday off work and was going to hammer Warzone 2.0 but I find myself now in a position, through no lack of effort likely to be on my own and I just won’t play it, even though it’s a wonderful release and escape. I can’t play with strangers, my anxiety won’t allow it.

Genuinely just in that horrible position of being isolated and trapped. Despite making huge efforts socially in the past couple of years, working on myself but never appearing to be good enough. It speaks volumes to my life I have nobody other than my wife to speak about these things and I don’t like putting it all on her because she just wants to fix it and help but she literally can’t despite her naturally good hearted soul.

 

[Spotty]

I feel like in such a bad place at the moment. I feel so isolated from the world, i have co-workers who show no real interest in socialising out of work but have no hesitation in putting stuff on me in work when I’m loaded with stuff to do. I have no real release at the moment in gaming, have footy once a week and even then the other week I had an anxiety attack before playing. Literally just fresh from a four day trip in wales with the wife and doesnt feel like it has done anything to help. I’ve just quit smoking a month ago, no trouble, quit gambling about 16 months ago, no trouble (although it does feel an urge) and yet constantly feel trapped or isolated.

Constantly reminded I have absolutely nobody other than my wife, my family are tiny, my two brothers don’t ever get in touch unless they want something. Massively undervalued in work but have no way out because I’m on a wage thats alright big picture but they’ve not got me any qualifications where I could actually apply for jobs in a similar field so if I want to leave I’ll have to take a pay cut which is just unaffordable. In a company that take short cuts, commit some very dodgy things. Tried to get myself out there with local clubs to try and help lose weight but nobody taking me up on just being an extra goalkeeper in training or even just help doing drills for goalkeepers. I’ve got Wednesday - Friday off work and was going to hammer Warzone 2.0 but I find myself now in a position, through no lack of effort likely to be on my own and I just won’t play it, even though it’s a wonderful release and escape. I can’t play with strangers, my anxiety won’t allow it.

Genuinely just in that horrible position of being isolated and trapped. Despite making huge efforts socially in the past couple of years, working on myself but never appearing to be good enough. It speaks volumes to my life I have nobody other than my wife to speak about these things and I don’t like putting it all on her because she just wants to fix it and help but she literally can’t despite her naturally good hearted soul.

Andy I'm sorry your feeling the way you are. You appear to be " stuck ". Externally you have a job, have a supportive wife but you struggle with your weight. I'm intrigued Andy, re: " she wants to fix it...but can't ". What does that mean buddy. Your self esteem is rock bottom and appear to be going through the motions. You don't mention your depressed, just in a malaise. By that I mean with a few tweaks small changes, things could look at lot different.

Sit down with your wife. Discuss what you want in life. You don't seem to be a million miles from your life improving but first you need to identify what you really think the issue is. Do you think you are not appreciated ? Could you volunteer, helping someone can be so rewarding Andy. Could you give some of your time to a worthwhile cause. Being told " thank you, you've really helped me " can be so uplifting. Life for all of us Andy can be - especially at this economically difficult time - a real struggle but I don't sense a crisis in terms of mental distress or anxiety. It appears on the face of it, a " is this it, what life's all about ?" The benefits of exercise are as you know, well documented and a visit to your Dr to discuss your mood would be fruitful. Whilst I allude to what doesn't appear to be depression as yet, I also think that your mental health could really deteriorate if your negative thought processes don't change. If you can, try to be clear as to what you feel your problems are. I suspect an accumulation of what you perceive as negatives may not be as debillatating as you think.

Your circle of friends can only improve by you " getting out there ", and you getting out there depends on your motivation and confidence to initiate things. So an honest chat with your wife, identify the things that you think would help, and then plan as to how to achieve them. Don't be afraid to fail, trying isn't failing buddy. It doesn't matter if things don't go to plan immediately, it's the doing that matters at the moment. I hope what I've said makes some sense to you but it's really important to identify what you think is " wrong " with your life, because once you've done that, there WILL be a solution to make it right.

If you think a DM would help, get in touch and I will try my best to help. Take care.

 

[andy4efc]

Andy I'm sorry your feeling the way you are. You appear to be " stuck ". Externally you have a job, have a supportive wife but you struggle with your weight. I'm intrigued Andy, re: " she wants to fix it...but can't ". What does that mean buddy. Your self esteem is rock bottom and appear to be going through the motions. You don't mention your depressed, just in a malaise. By that I mean with a few tweaks small changes, things could look at lot different.

Sit down with your wife. Discuss what you want in life. You don't seem to be a million miles from your life improving but first you need to identify what you really think the issue is. Do you think you are not appreciated ? Could you volunteer, helping someone can be so rewarding Andy. Could you give some of your time to a worthwhile cause. Being told " thank you, you've really helped me " can be so uplifting. Life for all of us Andy can be - especially at this economically difficult time - a real struggle but I don't sense a crisis in terms of mental distress or anxiety. It appears on the face of it, a " is this it, what life's all about ?" The benefits of exercise are as you know, well documented and a visit to your Dr to discuss your mood would be fruitful. Whilst I allude to what doesn't appear to be depression as yet, I also think that your mental health could really deteriorate if your negative thought processes don't change. If you can, try to be clear as to what you feel your problems are. I suspect an accumulation of what you perceive as negatives may not be as debillatating as you think.

Your circle of friends can only improve by you " getting out there ", and you getting out there depends on your motivation and confidence to initiate things. So an honest chat with your wife, identify the things that you think would help, and then plan as to how to achieve them. Don't be afraid to fail, trying isn't failing buddy. It doesn't matter if things don't go to plan immediately, it's the doing that matters at the moment. I hope what I've said makes some sense to you but it's really important to identify what you think is " wrong " with your life, because once you've done that, there WILL be a solution to make it right.

If you think a DM would help, get in touch and I will try my best to help. Take care.

1st Bold;

I've sufferd with depression and have tablets never felt any change really. My wife knows everything, absolutely everything its just not something tangible that can be helped or fixed by an individual, does that make sense? I've had serious thoughts as to whether it's anti-depressants I need or whether I need anti-anxiety talbets instead, something im going to raise with a doctor soon.

It's not through a lack of effort, I've done sociable things like going the pub, going on work event in Manchester (which was fun), but ultimately everything leads to the same thing, being isoalted and despite putting my hand out there for others to grab and do things, nobody ever takes it up and It's increasingly frustrating and crushing. There is only so many times you can try and get nothing back. I've had times when I've been in the car and just thought enough is enough just don't brake at the next corner. (I've never done that, and dont have the bottle to do it).

 

[ForeverBlue92]

I feel like in such a bad place at the moment. I feel so isolated from the world, i have co-workers who show no real interest in socialising out of work but have no hesitation in putting stuff on me in work when I’m loaded with stuff to do. I have no real release at the moment in gaming, have footy once a week and even then the other week I had an anxiety attack before playing. Literally just fresh from a four day trip in wales with the wife and doesnt feel like it has done anything to help. I’ve just quit smoking a month ago, no trouble, quit gambling about 16 months ago, no trouble (although it does feel an urge) and yet constantly feel trapped or isolated.

Constantly reminded I have absolutely nobody other than my wife, my family are tiny, my two brothers don’t ever get in touch unless they want something. Massively undervalued in work but have no way out because I’m on a wage thats alright big picture but they’ve not got me any qualifications where I could actually apply for jobs in a similar field so if I want to leave I’ll have to take a pay cut which is just unaffordable. In a company that take short cuts, commit some very dodgy things. Tried to get myself out there with local clubs to try and help lose weight but nobody taking me up on just being an extra goalkeeper in training or even just help doing drills for goalkeepers. I’ve got Wednesday - Friday off work and was going to hammer Warzone 2.0 but I find myself now in a position, through no lack of effort likely to be on my own and I just won’t play it, even though it’s a wonderful release and escape. I can’t play with strangers, my anxiety won’t allow it.

Genuinely just in that horrible position of being isolated and trapped. Despite making huge efforts socially in the past couple of years, working on myself but never appearing to be good enough. It speaks volumes to my life I have nobody other than my wife to speak about these things and I don’t like putting it all on her because she just wants to fix it and help but she literally can’t despite her naturally good hearted soul.

You local mate ? If you're looking to get in better shape/wanting to try something different I train at Next Gen gym and we do a load of classes in different martial arts and/or mma and are welcoming to beginners.

If that aint your cup of tea I've been recently doing meditation which really helps clear your mind.

Hope things improve for you lad ?

 

[billyblue80]

What’s the latest news involving Kamada?
There is uncertainty over where Kamada’s long-term future lies as his Frankfurt deal, which is worth £33,480-per-week, is due to expire next summer.

The 21-cap Japan international, who has previously been valued at £26million, could sign a pre-contract agreement with an overseas club when he enters the final six months of his commitment to the Bundesliga side in January.

According to German media outlet Fussball Transfers, Everton are among a number of clubs to have enquired about Kamada’s situation.

 

[Goat]

What’s the latest news involving Kamada?
There is uncertainty over where Kamada’s long-term future lies as his Frankfurt deal, which is worth £33,480-per-week, is due to expire next summer.

The 21-cap Japan international, who has previously been valued at £26million, could sign a pre-contract agreement with an overseas club when he enters the final six months of his commitment to the Bundesliga side in January.

According to German media outlet Fussball Transfers, Everton are among a number of clubs to have enquired about Kamada’s situation.

I suspect you posted this in the wrong forum.

 

[billyblue80]

I suspect you posted this in the wrong forum.

I have

 

[LocalNative]

This is a daft one admist the real trouble people actually go through. I’ve posted about it before and cringed cause it’s dead silly like.

But what point is too late to change your way. I got a great opportunity to leave the city - I blamed it for everything- and got a decent job in London. Same shot carries and I have a genuine terrible relationship with drugs that I cannot avoid. Used to think getting off the k was alright when doing coke but am proper hooked. The worst part is I only Do it when I drink booze which is only once a week or so / so I justify it as ok tightly or wrongly. That’s the brock part tho lad cause I convince myself it’s ok because of that.

Come to the conclusion I can’t drink because of it, always a demand always wanting the high. Spending mad money on gear, even the thought of how much I’d have if I didn’t makes me feel sick.

I’ll regret this post tomorrow in the come down but I’m keeping it up as a hopeful moment that I’ll look at and say ‘sort your life out’.

Worst part is I’ve been hiding it for the past year or 2 from my GF (who I’ve been with for 8 years and stuck by me at my worst) who I swore to I’d never touch it again.

This is a silly post is the grand scheme of proper lads going through trouble.

But anyone who has ever been hooked on something please do PM for a chat (or if not just for a release) - as I say I’ll probs play it all down again tomoz but I need to feel the embarrassment of doing this crap all the time.

I’m very privileged in the wider picture and thought leaving the city would solve everything which it doesn’t.

I know I’m being a proper sausage about it too cause I’m always the first to suggest with mates. All me mates do it too and the problem is I love the high and nights but it always goes back to booze is my trigger. I don’t want to stop drinking tho I need to somehow get over this but I don’t know how.

Any sound advice appreciated via PM

 

[larbert toffee]

This is a daft one admist the real trouble people actually go through. I’ve posted about it before and cringed cause it’s dead silly like.

But what point is too late to change your way. I got a great opportunity to leave the city - I blamed it for everything- and got a decent job in London. Same shot carries and I have a genuine terrible relationship with drugs that I cannot avoid. Used to think getting off the k was alright when doing coke but am proper hooked. The worst part is I only Do it when I drink booze which is only once a week or so / so I justify it as ok tightly or wrongly. That’s the brock part tho lad cause I convince myself it’s ok because of that.

Come to the conclusion I can’t drink because of it, always a demand always wanting the high. Spending mad money on gear, even the thought of how much I’d have if I didn’t makes me feel sick.

I’ll regret this post tomorrow in the come down but I’m keeping it up as a hopeful moment that I’ll look at and say ‘sort your life out’.

Worst part is I’ve been hiding it for the past year or 2 from my GF (who I’ve been with for 8 years and stuck by me at my worst) who I swore to I’d never touch it again.

This is a silly post is the grand scheme of proper lads going through trouble.

But anyone who has ever been hooked on something please do PM for a chat (or if not just for a release) - as I say I’ll probs play it all down again tomoz but I need to feel the embarrassment of doing this crap all the time.

I’m very privileged in the wider picture and thought leaving the city would solve everything which it doesn’t.

I know I’m being a proper sausage about it too cause I’m always the first to suggest with mates. All me mates do it too and the problem is I love the high and nights but it always goes back to booze is my trigger. I don’t want to stop drinking tho I need to somehow get over this but I don’t know how.

Any sound advice appreciated via PM

It's not a daft post mate, it's obviously of concern to you and if you're looking for someone to tell you you shouldn't be doing drugs as it will ultimately consume you then you don't need anyone you quite obviously understand it yourself.
8 years is a long time to be in a relationship and she obviously loves you if she's been with you at your worst but whose to say this situation can't spiral and put you in an even worst situation, can you?
I'm not saying it could be easy to wean yourself off drugs and to resist temptation but you've got to get yourself clean if you want to move onwards and upwards with your life.
There are others on here more suited to give advice but perhaps seeking out a local support group might be a good start.
I wish you luck in whatever you decide but you very obviously can't continue as you are.
Don't feel embarrassed posting, I admire you for reaching out, keep us informed I'm sure it could help you.

 

[Goat]

This is a daft one admist the real trouble people actually go through. I’ve posted about it before and cringed cause it’s dead silly like.

But what point is too late to change your way. I got a great opportunity to leave the city - I blamed it for everything- and got a decent job in London. Same shot carries and I have a genuine terrible relationship with drugs that I cannot avoid. Used to think getting off the k was alright when doing coke but am proper hooked. The worst part is I only Do it when I drink booze which is only once a week or so / so I justify it as ok tightly or wrongly. That’s the brock part tho lad cause I convince myself it’s ok because of that.

Come to the conclusion I can’t drink because of it, always a demand always wanting the high. Spending mad money on gear, even the thought of how much I’d have if I didn’t makes me feel sick.

I’ll regret this post tomorrow in the come down but I’m keeping it up as a hopeful moment that I’ll look at and say ‘sort your life out’.

Worst part is I’ve been hiding it for the past year or 2 from my GF (who I’ve been with for 8 years and stuck by me at my worst) who I swore to I’d never touch it again.

This is a silly post is the grand scheme of proper lads going through trouble.

But anyone who has ever been hooked on something please do PM for a chat (or if not just for a release) - as I say I’ll probs play it all down again tomoz but I need to feel the embarrassment of doing this crap all the time.

I’m very privileged in the wider picture and thought leaving the city would solve everything which it doesn’t.

I know I’m being a proper sausage about it too cause I’m always the first to suggest with mates. All me mates do it too and the problem is I love the high and nights but it always goes back to booze is my trigger. I don’t want to stop drinking tho I need to somehow get over this but I don’t know how.

Any sound advice appreciated via PM

This is the first step mate, admitting you have a problem.

Hopefully somebody has reached out, I cant really help personally, but its not silly to talk about things.

 

[EFCPaul]

Jason David Frank has tragically took his own life.

Was famous for playing Tommy Oliver in the Power Rangers (the green and later white ranger). Was only 49, had 4 kids and was active on the convention circuit, had everything to live for from the outside looking in. A massive figure in my childhood, gutted doesn't come close to explaining how I feel.

Please don't be afraid to ask for help and please don't feel daft/out of order for offering it. Too many people are suffering in silence and are drifting into that terrible mindset that ending it all is the only answer.

 

[Kurt.]

I never post in here guys ashamedly but I have nowhere and nobody else to listen so I’m here ?‍ I am struggling … I’m in a very dark place right now and I see no way out … I laugh and joke along with everyone on here but I’ve never felt more sad and alone than I feel right now … where does the help come from guys ? I’ve never asked for help and I’ll admit I struggle to ask for it as I’ve always considered myself to be a strong person and I deal with my own problems myself … I honestly have empathy with every single one of you who have posted on this amazing thread but right now I’ve never felt more lost, sad and lonely than I’ve ever felt before and I just don’t see a way out … sorry for waffling on but I just needed to vent somewhere to somebody

 

[Spotty]

I never post in here guys ashamedly but I have nowhere and nobody else to listen so I’m here ?‍ I am struggling … I’m in a very dark place right now and I see no way out … I laugh and joke along with everyone on here but I’ve never felt more sad and alone than I feel right now … where does the help come from guys ? I’ve never asked for help and I’ll admit I struggle to ask for it as I’ve always considered myself to be a strong person and I deal with my own problems myself … I honestly have empathy with every single one of you who have posted on this amazing thread but right now I’ve never felt more lost, sad and lonely than I’ve ever felt before and I just don’t see a way out … sorry for waffling on but I just needed to vent somewhere to somebody

Kurt well done for asking for help. I can only imagine how bad your feeling. Firstly, if you feel like you have very strong urges to kill yourself. Call the police, call 999 and say " I'm very close to killing myself. I need help ". They will get you help, an on duty mental health professional will call you. Second option. Go to A / E. Tell them the same. There WILL be an call mental health professional who will assess you. Is there anybody at all who can chat with you ? Anyone you can visit, stay with and keep an eye on you. If not the Samaritans are wonderful kind people who will be more than happy to chat and give you time. If you haven't been to the Dr go and see him / her and explain what's going on. Google " MIND " and see where locally they meet up. Like minded people are there and will be very supportive. You think you are alone my friend, you are not. People want to help but if you can make the first move. There are numerous supportive Organisations nearby who will more than happy to give you support. They just need to know your struggling and how they can get in touch with you. Your priority is staying safe. The steps above when your " on the edge " are practice but will get you the help. Remember Kurt, it's all about being safe and taking your time. No rush, let your mind close down and you do that by reassuring yourself and feeling safe. There will be a time when someone will need YOU, you will be their rock and support. You ARE needed, people do care and there ARE people out there who WANT to help you. You are more than welcome to contact me and I'll do my best for you. Take care my friend and I hope you find some peace of mind soon.

 

[tim gabbott]

I never post in here guys ashamedly but I have nowhere and nobody else to listen so I’m here ?‍ I am struggling … I’m in a very dark place right now and I see no way out … I laugh and joke along with everyone on here but I’ve never felt more sad and alone than I feel right now … where does the help come from guys ? I’ve never asked for help and I’ll admit I struggle to ask for it as I’ve always considered myself to be a strong person and I deal with my own problems myself … I honestly have empathy with every single one of you who have posted on this amazing thread but right now I’ve never felt more lost, sad and lonely than I’ve ever felt before and I just don’t see a way out … sorry for waffling on but I just needed to vent somewhere to somebody

Hope your ok pal… Stay positive think good things. Opening up must be hard but I’m sure we are all here to help..

 

[Kurt.]

Kurt well done for asking for help. I can only imagine how bad your feeling. Firstly, if you feel like you have very strong urges to kill yourself. Call the police, call 999 and say " I'm very close to killing myself. I need help ". They will get you help, an on duty mental health professional will call you. Second option. Go to A / E. Tell them the same. There WILL be a call mental health professional who will assess you. Is there anybody at all who can chat with you ? Anyone you can visit, stay with and keep an eye on you. If not the Samaritans are wonderful kind people who will be more than happy to chat and give you time. If you haven't been to the Dr go and see him / her and explain what's going on. Google " MIND " and see where locally they meet up. Like minded people are there and will be very supportive. You think you are alone my friend, you are not. People want to help but if you can make the first move. There are numerous supportive Organisations nearby who will more than happy to give you support. They just need to know your struggling and how they can get in touch with you. Your priority is staying safe. The steps above when your " on the edge " are practice but will get you the help. Remember Kurt, it's all about being safe and taking your time. No rush, let your mind close down and you do that by reassuring yourself and feeling safe. There will be a time when someone will need YOU, you will be their rock and support. You ARE needed, people do care and there ARE people out there who WANT to help you. You are more than welcome to contact me and I'll do my best for you. Take care my friend and I hope you find some peace of mind soon.

Thanks for your reply, it’s hopefully just a blip I’m going through at the moment and it will soon pass, it’s just been a really tough 6 months and I think it’s all just come to a head this past week, it’s good to know there are people out there who do care though and I will certainly take strength from that. Probably in 2 weeks time I’ll be right as rain