Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[JLW]

My therapist said I might have to
move away to be fully rid of him but as he’s not from here, I am hoping he may go back home x

Lifes too short for you to sit and wait for him to go, that's another year lost and possibly if i remembered right you potentially will have another Christmas ruined.
I know its not easy but give him a timescale of a week and say if your not gone we're gone, and follow it through.

Goodluck with whatever you decide.

 

[Brendan Janus]

Hopefully he will leave soon and my daughter and I can live in peace without walking on eggshells and without fear. He knows how we feel about him and has for some time, so there is no reason for him to stay here. He’s not from here so hopefully he will go back to his hometown.

Fingers crossed for you, ?been nice chatting to you !! stay in touch, I'll look out for you when you come on here, I am on virtually everyday !!

 

[paultheblue]

I had a telephone appointment this morning following on from my radiotherapy 2 months ago.I had a blood test last week to check my PSA re my Prostate cancer.
Good news my PSA is down to 0.01 which is as good as it gets after a high of 23 in May.
I still have hormone injections for 3 years but doesn't bother me.I have been in limbo this year since February when it was first diagnosed but now I can start looking forward again.
Thanks for all the support I recieved on here it really does help

 

[anjelikaferrett]

After a great couple of weeks of being back gym and playing footy I went out with mates tonight and back on the coke. It’s so silly and mundane it should be easy to do this.

My mates all do it and are happy to and I cannot resist. I know the easy solution is avoid but don’t wanna feel like I have to avoid my mates cause of my own problems with resisting.

Proper deflating. Certain time back with family at Christmas will help but I need a major kick up the arse to stop feeling like this and doing this crap.

Not silly at all. Look at itcas a blip. You've proved you can do without it so draw a line under what happened and move on. Could you talk to your mates. Be the one who says I don't want to do this. I'm assuming it costs you to do coke so blame the current economy.Say you can't afford all the aspects of your social life and you would rather spend the money on booze.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

@Twinkletoes123 I cant offer any advice but wanted to send you much love and support. Your situation is awful and I feel for you. Could your landlord evict him on your behalf?

Always around for a chat if you need to offload. Much love x

 

[Twinkletoes123]

@Twinkletoes123 I cant offer any advice but wanted to send you much love and support. Your situation is awful and I feel for you. Could your landlord evict him on your behalf?

Always around for a chat if you need to offload. Much love x

Thank you for your kind offer. Unfortunately, they don’t get involved with things like this. My daughter and I were discussing different outcomes last night and she suggested she looks into getting an injunction against him, not sure how it works x

 

[blue to the bone]

Thank you for your kind offer. Unfortunately, they don’t get involved with things like this. My daughter and I were discussing different outcomes last night and she suggested she looks into getting an injunction against him, not sure how it works x

Whatever you do. Do something.
No one deserves to live like this

 

[COYBL25]

I had a telephone appointment this morning following on from my radiotherapy 2 months ago.I had a blood test last week to check my PSA re my Prostate cancer.
Good news my PSA is down to 0.01 which is as good as it gets after a high of 23 in May.
I still have hormone injections for 3 years but doesn't bother me.I have been in limbo this year since February when it was first diagnosed but now I can start looking forward again.
Thanks for all the support I recieved on here it really does help

Great news mate, you can enjoy Christmas now, without that hanging around in the back of your mind

 

[paultheblue]

Great news mate, you can enjoy Christmas now, without that hanging around in the back of your mind

Thanks mate

 

[COYBL25]

Thank you for your kind offer. Unfortunately, they don’t get involved with things like this. My daughter and I were discussing different outcomes last night and she suggested she looks into getting an injunction against him, not sure how it works x

Contact your local Police domestic violence / family support unit ( it may have another name, but it`ll be along those lines ).

It`s likely to be based in a bigger police station, not the smaller satellite ones.

Ask to make an appointment to see an officer from there. It will be at a time and a place that you feel safe / comfortable with, if you don`t want to go to a police station. They don`t wear uniforms, so if you met in somewhere like a cafe, no one would know who you were with.

They`ll give you advice and get the ball rolling, about how to get either and injunction or a restraining order against him. Plus they work closely with shelters and womens groups, who help and support the families of domestic violence, such as yours.

Everything they do, is absolutely confidential, so there`s no way he`d find out what you`re doing.

The police get slagged off for many things, but these units, that support women / families such as yours, are staffed by people, who are totally dedicated to their jobs and go above and beyond.

This first step is the most important step and the one that ultimately change your families life for the better.

 

[Twinkletoes123]

Contact your local Police domestic violence / family support unit ( it may have another name, but it`ll be along those lines ).

It`s likely to be based in a bigger police station, not the smaller satellite ones.

Ask to make an appointment to see an officer from there. It will be at a time and a place that you feel safe / comfortable with, if you don`t want to go to a police station. They don`t wear uniforms, so if you met in somewhere like a cafe, no one would know who you were with.

They`ll give you advice and get the ball rolling, about how to get either and injunction or a restraining order against him. Plus they work closely with shelters and womens groups, who help and support the families of domestic violence, such as yours.

Everything they do, is absolutely confidential, so there`s no way he`d find out what you`re doing.

The police get slagged off for many things, but these units, that support women / families such as yours, are staffed by people, who are totally dedicated to their jobs and go above and beyond.

This first step is the most important step and the one that ultimately change your families life for the better.

Thank you so much, we will try and get the ball rolling. I feel such a fool as I worry they won’t believe me I haven’t got bruises and broken bones, but I hear they are better with cohesive control now.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I had a telephone appointment this morning following on from my radiotherapy 2 months ago.I had a blood test last week to check my PSA re my Prostate cancer.
Good news my PSA is down to 0.01 which is as good as it gets after a high of 23 in May.
I still have hormone injections for 3 years but doesn't bother me.I have been in limbo this year since February when it was first diagnosed but now I can start looking forward again.
Thanks for all the support I recieved on here it really does help

Awesome!

 

[Spotty]

Contact your local Police domestic violence / family support unit ( it may have another name, but it`ll be along those lines ).

It`s likely to be based in a bigger police station, not the smaller satellite ones.

Ask to make an appointment to see an officer from there. It will be at a time and a place that you feel safe / comfortable with, if you don`t want to go to a police station. They don`t wear uniforms, so if you met in somewhere like a cafe, no one would know who you were with.

They`ll give you advice and get the ball rolling, about how to get either and injunction or a restraining order against him. Plus they work closely with shelters and womens groups, who help and support the families of domestic violence, such as yours.

Everything they do, is absolutely confidential, so there`s no way he`d find out what you`re doing.

The police get slagged off for many things, but these units, that support women / families such as yours, are staffed by people, who are totally dedicated to their jobs and go above and beyond.

This first step is the most important step and the one that ultimately change your families life for the better.

I helped a client to complete injunction paperwork. We went to CAB who pointed is on the right direction. Go to CAB luv they'll take you step by step through the process. Get more info at GOV.UK. Start the process Twinkle. If the coward starts the law will take him in him should he breech it. Normally I would go down the " reasonable " route but I understand it's gone past reasonable. Good luck luv and as usual, the members of this forum step up to the plate.

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

I have thought of that but I’ve been here nearly 21 years and is an assured tenancy. If I was to move, I can’t see me getting a guaranteed home that I won’t have to move out of every other year. I am keeping on at him everyday about getting out now so he seems pretty desperate to hook his next victim, which is an awful shame for her but he can’t live without his narcissistic supply.

I suppose it becomes a question of which is the lesser of two evils. From what you've said - and I realise I may be missing some nuances that are hard to get across in posts on here - it seems like moving every couple of years is a small price to pay, compared to a remaining lifetime of this misery.

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

After my last few posts on here in September I've really tried to do better. Notes around the house to remind me to do things I need to, sticking rigidly to my agenda and setting reminders for important stuff.

Today, I've found out that something I forgot to do 2 months ago has cost us another 300 quid and the whole cycle has started again. My girlfriend is, rightly, furious. Calling me all sorts and really yelling.

When somebody shouts at me, I can't handle it (thanks to my dad, who only communicated through yelling) and I just want to make it stop.

I've been sat in a darkened room for 45 minutes thinking some horrible stuff. Its just never going to get better. I'm never going to be able to function like a normal adult and she'll always have to worry about where the next surprise is coming from.

That's a huge kick in the plums, mate, but 2 months ago takes us right back to the beginnings of your efforts to organise yourself better. It's reasonable to assume that some stuff might slip through in those early days while you get yourself sorted. I get that it has cost money, which will make matters worse of course, but you have to give yourself a break.

You're working hard to make your relationship better but you need the support of your partner when she can see you're already beating yourself up. You'll likely never be perfect at this stuff, but my hat is off to how hard you've worked already to get better. Keep it up, mate, and keep your chin up, too. You're doing a good job.