Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Brett Angell Delight]

I appreciate it doesnt need to be quid pro quo, nor would I expect it to be, but there is noticeable lack of any sort of effort. I spent hours helping a 'mate' the other day with his PC problems, trying to sold an unsolvable issue and then I couldnt get the time of day off him.

I'm just at the point of giving up. I dont know how much more I can take of it, because the isolation you get, that punch of it is absolutely horrible.

I get it, that's a really bad example. You definitely shouldn't have to resort to lowering your expectations of people, because there certainly should have been a basic amount of courtesy you could have relied on from your 'mate'.

You said yourself you have a core group of people in your life you can depend on. You know you have a group of internet strangers in here day and night that you can talk to if the going gets rough. There's a big void in between those two categories but it is one that can be filled. Maybe sign up to some kind of activity, sporting or otherwise, where the aim isn't solely to meet people, but it could be a welcome biproduct?

 

[andy4efc]

Regarding what you posted about all the stuff you do in your job, it sounds like you've gained a wide range of experience there. Could it be that you're selling yourself short a little bit?

I dont think so, I know my value with my skills, I know my limitations but the problem in terms of the job side of things, there is nothing on paper. If anyone really delved into what i do for my company I know full well the majority would want me in their company in some capacity.

I know I'm not brilliant at anything, but i'm good or very good at a lot of things. Without having quals, even just to 'tick a box' is making it very hard to get out.

 

[andy4efc]

I get it, that's a really bad example. You definitely shouldn't have to resort to lowering your expectations of people, because there certainly should have been a basic amount of courtesy you could have relied on from your 'mate'.

You said yourself you have a core group of people in your life you can depend on. You know you have a group of internet strangers in here day and night that you can talk to if the going gets rough. There's a big void in between those two categories but it is one that can be filled. Maybe sign up to some kind of activity, sporting or otherwise, where the aim isn't solely to meet people, but it could be a welcome biproduct?

I dont have a core though, I've tried for years to be adapatable and feel like my efforts fall on deaf ears becuase I just get nothing back. Five/Six years ago I'd have said well it's my fault, I dont do enough to give myself opportunity but now I put myself out there 10x as much and just hit a wall.

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

I dont have a core though, I've tried for years to be adapatable and feel like my efforts fall on deaf ears becuase I just get nothing back. Five/Six years ago I'd have said well it's my fault, I dont do enough to give myself opportunity but now I put myself out there 10x as much and just hit a wall.

By core I was referring to your wife and parents. I’m sure there are others that care far more than you imagine but are a bit crap about letting you know. Not that it’s any comfort in your current situation, but I do think, for all its wonders, the internet and social media in particular have perhaps robbed us of a bit of the closeness we might otherwise have had.

Hypothetically, if the great GOT meet up were ever to happen, would you attend?

 

[andy4efc]

By core I was referring to your wife and parents. I’m sure there are others that care far more than you imagine but are a bit crap about letting you know. Not that it’s any comfort in your current situation, but I do think, for all its wonders, the internet and social media in particular have perhaps robbed us of a bit of the closeness we might otherwise have had.

Hypothetically, if the great GOT meet up were ever to happen, would you attend?

I tried getting involved with bluekipper once YEARS ago, back when it actually was active. Played a game for their sunday team, didnt go too well. I cant say I would. I did actually get involved in games with people on here, cant remember where it was, possibly walton hall park before upgrades. Fizzed out though.

I'm not sure I could do it again to be honest.

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

I tried getting involved with bluekipper once YEARS ago, back when it actually was active. Played a game for their sunday team, didnt go too well. I cant say I would. I did actually get involved in games with people on here, cant remember where it was, possibly walton hall park before upgrades. Fizzed out though.

I'm not sure I could do it again to be honest.

Fair enough. To be fair, there’d be 100 users in attendance but that would amount to you, me and @chicoazul

 

[chicoazul]

Fair enough. To be fair, there’d be 100 users in attendance but that would amount to you, me and @chicoazul

We are legion. All of me.

 

[TyphooToffee]

I posted a while back mate about the struggles of living alone. It's not a 24/7 thing for me, as I quite like solitude some of the time, but it does hit you, and you can't choose when it does.

It IS a problem, for some of us, at times, and I empathise.

I'm not sure what advice I can give you, other than to do some things which might help sustain your overall mental, as well as physical health.

Try and get out in nature, eat well and exercise, and let people in your circle know when you need help.

I also find that getting out and about and amongst people, even if its to the library or in a café, can help you just get out of your own head.

Good luck mate.

I probably worded it wrong. It means I probably have to live alone as in not with a woman, even a landlady. I will hopefully soon be moving into a place with another one or two men - landlord and one other lodger. The landlord is quite interested in the mention of the 'glamour' photography I hope to do from there. Nothing upmarket about it though (taps nose).

I'm very upbeat at the moment but felt I needed to contribute because of how ADHD and irresponsible drinking can affect loved ones.

 

[blue to the bone]

The dark clouds starting to circle again for me. Have posted before on it and while its not as bad as it can be it's still not nice.
A relationship i thought was goin someplace now looks like it won't, a job/role I was interested in isn't happening, January and winter in general never are great for me and throw in the Everton situation and I'm struggling. Today I only left the house for an hour and other then that didn't want to meet anyone. Walked the dog but headphones in and head down .

 

[Rita_Poon]

The dark clouds starting to circle again for me. Have posted before on it and while its not as bad as it can be it's still not nice.
A relationship i thought was goin someplace now looks like it won't, a job/role I was interested in isn't happening, January and winter in general never are great for me and throw in the Everton situation and I'm struggling. Today I only left the house for an hour and other then that didn't want to meet anyone. Walked the dog but headphones in and head down .

At least you got out, the dogs had some air as well, another day of winter boxed off, if the job or person aint working out, no sweat, now you know you can move on and check pastures new. I'd not let the Everton debacle sneak into your mind, its utterly bizarre and aint getting fixed anytime soon, try and have a laugh at it, its about all the power any of us have.
Good thing about the mood is, you've noticed and flagged it early, so maybe set yourself up with a few things you enjoy so youve got something to look forwards to and then the doing of and getting the days in January behind us all. Keep the daily exercise up, that in itself is worth tons. If there is a subject thats sapping your energy, swerve it off.
February is round the corner, bit more sun and warmth but possibly even more rain. Treat yourself to a jet ski

 

[blue to the bone]

At least you got out, the dogs had some air as well, another day of winter boxed off, if the job or person aint working out, no sweat, now you know you can move on and check pastures new. I'd not let the Everton debacle sneak into your mind, its utterly bizarre and aint getting fixed anytime soon, try and have a laugh at it, its about all the power any of us have.
Good thing about the mood is, you've noticed and flagged it early, so maybe set yourself up with a few things you enjoy so youve got something to look forwards to and then the doing of and getting the days in January behind us all. Keep the daily exercise up, that in itself is worth tons. If there is a subject thats sapping your energy, swerve it off.
February is round the corner, bit more sun and warmth but possibly even more rain. Treat yourself to a jet ski

Booking a trip to Goodison for the Southampton game was meant to help with the January blues!!

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

The dark clouds starting to circle again for me. Have posted before on it and while its not as bad as it can be it's still not nice.
A relationship i thought was goin someplace now looks like it won't, a job/role I was interested in isn't happening, January and winter in general never are great for me and throw in the Everton situation and I'm struggling. Today I only left the house for an hour and other then that didn't want to meet anyone. Walked the dog but headphones in and head down .

Out with headphones in and head down is still out. Give yourself credit for getting that far.

This time of year defo doesn’t help. I suppose all we can say on that score is that the days are gradually getting longer. Hang in there for a bit of vitamin D.

Sorry to hear about the relationship and job. Either is hard to take but both together must have been rough. I guess all you can do right now, while you’re struggling, is just focus on controlling what you can. Getting moving and getting some fresh air was a great start. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and the dark clouds will lift before you know it.

As far as Everton goes, I don’t think there’ll be any respite on that score for a while. I’d suggest finding another Saturday afternoon hobby!

 

[Rita_Poon]

Booking a trip to Goodison for the Southampton game was meant to help with the January blues!!

Well, it could be worse, at least it isn't you caught out nationwide telling lies about the people that pay you. And you got a solid first half performance where Onana and Gueye ;ppled very capable indeed. Shame they all had half time valium.

 

[Gwladysover]

The dark clouds starting to circle again for me. Have posted before on it and while its not as bad as it can be it's still not nice.
A relationship i thought was goin someplace now looks like it won't, a job/role I was interested in isn't happening, January and winter in general never are great for me and throw in the Everton situation and I'm struggling. Today I only left the house for an hour and other then that didn't want to meet anyone. Walked the dog but headphones in and head down .

Sorry to hear things are not great at the moment. You are getting out and about which is an achievement. January is halfway through and there is a little more daylight in the afternoons . In our local churchyard the winter aconites are in flower and the snowdrops are pushing through the ground. Everton are beyond your control so try not to let it bother you although it can’t have been a pleasant experience on Saturday. Keep plodding on all, that’s all any of us can do, things will improve.?

 

[Philberto]

Hello - I have been researching depression for many years now, and have also had pharmaceutical and therapy treatments myself, that I'd like to share if that's OK?