Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Lobster Johnson]

is it possible to put potential spanners in works until after tomorrow?
Not industrial sabotage.
Just bargaining ammunition.
Try and be positive.

This is a process thats been going on for 6 months. I got a warning for "leaving early every day" and "not looking engaged in meetings" back in August. The reality of that was I was exercising my contractual right to work 8 to 4 and the second was something that nobody I worked with day to day agreed with when questioned. The warning came from the owner instead of my manager, who never raised either issue with me. I agreed to change my hours and told him to question my colleagues as to my performance and attitude.

In November I had a followup meeting with the owner who claimed he hadn't had the chance to follow it up with colleagues, but he would.

Now I'm getting called in tomorrow out of the blue for a chat with the 2 of them. This is after I had some heavy criticism from my manager 2 weeks ago which was, to my mind, a massive overreaction. So yeah, I know he wants me out and I know our lack of performance management makes it a personal opinion.

After the thing 2 weeks ago I started looking for other stuff because sitting here every day with nothing to do (they took all my projects away) is driving me crazy. Sorry for the long post.

 

[Rita_Poon]

They seem like a couple of bullies, I suspect you aren't holding them as prime references going forwards. So have some fun with them, take charge of the meeting as Anjela has suggested and don't take any flack. "Enjoy your fiefdom, you're welcome to it", "working in spite of you two losers has been the worst 18 months of my life", "a fresh start away from the strangle to creativity you two bums thrive on is exactly what I require", "keep your nonsense professional opinions and your personal agendas, neither are worth a jot*". There's few things in life as satisfying as nobbling a former boss, if you know enough similar to yourself in industry let it be known just what they're like. A bad reputation reaches nice and far.

 

[Lobster Johnson]

They seem like a couple of bullies, I suspect you aren't holding them as prime references going forwards. So have some fun with them, take charge of the meeting as Anjela has suggested and don't take any flack. "Enjoy your fiefdom, you're welcome to it", "working in spite of you two losers has been the worst 18 months of my life", "a fresh start away from the strangle to creativity you two bums thrive on is exactly what I require", "keep your nonsense professional opinions and your personal agendas, neither are worth a jot*". There's few things in life as satisfying as nobbling a former boss, if you know enough similar to yourself in industry let it be known just what they're like. A bad reputation reaches nice and far.

I've decided instead to be uber professional. Its not my colleagues' fault and they still have to work here. So I'm not going to sulk, I'm going to keep a lid on the anxiety and stress until I get on the train home and I'm going to resist saying anything I'll regret until I get severance confirmed.

Im just going to not sleep again tonight and talk myself into being unemployed forever.

 

[Lobster Johnson]

They seem like a couple of bullies, I suspect you aren't holding them as prime references going forwards. So have some fun with them, take charge of the meeting as Anjela has suggested and don't take any flack. "Enjoy your fiefdom, you're welcome to it", "working in spite of you two losers has been the worst 18 months of my life", "a fresh start away from the strangle to creativity you two bums thrive on is exactly what I require", "keep your nonsense professional opinions and your personal agendas, neither are worth a jot*". There's few things in life as satisfying as nobbling a former boss, if you know enough similar to yourself in industry let it be known just what they're like. A bad reputation reaches nice and far.

I've decided instead to be uber professional, think Andre Gomes not Doucoure. Its not my colleagues' fault and they still have to work here. So I'm not going to sulk, I'm going to keep a lid on the anxiety and stress until I get on the train home and I'm going to resist saying anything I'll regret until I get severance confirmed.

Im just going to not sleep again tonight and talk myself into being unemployed forever.


Edit: I also decided to ask my boss straight if I was getting fired tomorrow. He said he didn't know and it was unprofessional to ask. I really don't understand how you can treat somebody's livlihood like this.

 

[Rita_Poon]

Edit: I also decided to ask my boss straight if I was getting fired tomorrow. He said he didn't know and it was unprofessional to ask. I really don't understand how you can treat somebody's livlihood like this.

So if you get what you expect tomorrow, it's a decision made in less than a day? pull the other one. They are messing you about, can they make you work a leaving period or is it 'clear your desk its all over', security will be along to show you out sorta thing? 18 months in, at least its not landed mid december, there'll be a few firms looking at 'efficiencies' in the coming months, you'll be alright, if these two clowns can behave so poorly you're better off with them down the road well behind you.

 

[Lobster Johnson]

So if you get what you expect tomorrow, it's a decision made in less than a day? pull the other one. They are messing you about, can they make you work a leaving period or is it 'clear your desk its all over', security will be along to show you out sorta thing? 18 months in, at least its not landed mid december, there'll be a few firms looking at 'efficiencies' in the coming months, you'll be alright, if these two clowns can behave so poorly you're better off with them down the road well behind you.

Is right. I've come to see this today. Mainly thanks to you lot talking me down.

Thanks as ever.

Edit: I've found out today there's two more called to similar meetings tomorrow too. I've told them I'm not working any extra and they shouldn't either. If we're not good enough to work there, we're not good enough to bail them out whilst they hire cheaper versions of us

 

[Gwladysover]

Is right. I've come to see this today. Mainly thanks to you lot talking me down.

Thanks as ever.

Edit: I've found out today there's two more called to similar meetings tomorrow too. I've told them I'm not working any extra and they shouldn't either. If we're not good enough to work there, we're not good enough to bail them out whilst they hire cheaper versions of us

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow.?

 

[Woolverhampton_Blue]

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[Lobster Johnson]

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow.?

I can't help but feel I've been shafted here. Put on 2 months notice that means I have to work like normal until end of march when I'm gone. No payoff at the end.

I asked to leave now. He said I'd have to resign. Again, no payoff but also no access to unemployment benefits.

So, 9 weeks as a lame duck with nothing to do.

 

[COYBL25]

I can't help but feel I've been shafted here. Put on 2 months notice that means I have to work like normal until end of march when I'm gone. No payoff at the end.

I asked to leave now. He said I'd have to resign. Again, no payoff but also no access to unemployment benefits.

So, 9 weeks as a lame duck with nothing to do.

Go sick mate.

Any GP worth their salt, would give you a sick note for stress.

 

[Brendan Janus]

Question ?

Is there a difference between loving some one & fancying some one, or do both have to go together (As Change sang) ?

Let's Go Together 1985 !!

 

[Brendan Janus]

I've suffered and still do suffer with depression which has gone on since i was 15/16, parents don't understand how a 22 year old can be depressed, my little brother understands it more then them to be honest. I haven't told my doctor or really anyone else besides my immediate family because i'm not sure how it would help. Some days i feel boss like and others i could just sit there and cry but i don't do that like cause i don't like showing weakness, i feel i do know the root cause of my depression and i'm working on improving things for myself but it's hard when opportunities to do so aren't exactly in my control.

I've thought about killing myself and even collected the means to do it a few years back but thought better of it as it didn't seem fair on my family, i think if i didn't have one i'd have done though.

I know exactly how you feel mate !!

 

[AUXLEN]

Recently signed off work with depression. After I put my sick note in Boss called to infer it was my own fault. Then left a message complaining certain duties had not been taken care of. Awful. SSP barely covers my half of the mortgage. Sad times. Yeah, I should seek advice but it's all I can do to get out of bed and wash. Puts EFC into perspective, I suppose.

Last year: a relative died, a friend committed suicide, mum is now in a wheelchair from cancer, me in hospital 3 times with liver issues caused by gallbladder adhesions (still ongoing) and work not paying me sick.

Slightly ashamed I'm posting this here but nobody else to talk to.
Dr put me on pills.
Apologies for the downer blues.

 

[COYBL25]

Recently signed off work with depression. After I put my sick note in Boss called to infer it was my own fault. Then left a message complaining certain duties had not been taken care of. Awful. SSP barely covers my half of the mortgage. Sad times. Yeah, I should seek advice but it's all I can do to get out of bed and wash. Puts EFC into perspective, I suppose.

Last year: a relative died, a friend committed suicide, mum is now in a wheelchair from cancer, me in hospital 3 times with liver issues caused by gallbladder adhesions (still ongoing) and work not paying me sick.

Slightly ashamed I'm posting this here but nobody else to talk to.
Dr put me on pills.
Apologies for the downer blues.

Nothing to be ashamed of mate, that‘s what this thread is for.

There’s a few things there, but the first one that jumps out at me, is that your boss has broken employment law, not once, but twice.

@anjelikaferrett can advise accordingly.

You’re off sick for very good reason and she / he just can’t do that. Apart from anything else, it’s morally wrong.

Do you have a union or a representative, as they need to know what‘s gone on.

Are you getting support from anyone at home, as you’ve got one hell of a lot to deal with and I think anyone would be struggling given your circumstances.

How long have you been on your meds, as they can take 2/3 weeks to start working properly and even then they sometimes need tweaking.

Please keep posting mate, as there’s nothing to be ashamed of at all.

If you look through this wonderful thread, you’ll see many many people, who were on their arse and then slowly and gradually things have got better for them.

There’s always light at the end of the tunnel mate.

 

[Gwladysover]

Recently signed off work with depression. After I put my sick note in Boss called to infer it was my own fault. Then left a message complaining certain duties had not been taken care of. Awful. SSP barely covers my half of the mortgage. Sad times. Yeah, I should seek advice but it's all I can do to get out of bed and wash. Puts EFC into perspective, I suppose.

Last year: a relative died, a friend committed suicide, mum is now in a wheelchair from cancer, me in hospital 3 times with liver issues caused by gallbladder adhesions (still ongoing) and work not paying me sick.

Slightly ashamed I'm posting this here but nobody else to talk to.
Dr put me on pills.
Apologies for the downer blues.

You have had an awful time over the past year so no need to feel ashamed. What you are dealing/dealt with is a lot for you to bear alone so, as @COYBL25 has said, please seek advice, also keep posting there’s always someone to listen. Best wishes?