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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

AUXLEN said:
Recently signed off work with depression. After I put my sick note in Boss called to infer it was my own fault. Then left a message complaining certain duties had not been taken care of. Awful. SSP barely covers my half of the mortgage. Sad times. Yeah, I should seek advice but it's all I can do to get out of bed and wash. Puts EFC into perspective, I suppose.

Last year: a relative died, a friend committed suicide, mum is now in a wheelchair from cancer, me in hospital 3 times with liver issues caused by gallbladder adhesions (still ongoing) and work not paying me sick.

Slightly ashamed I'm posting this here but nobody else to talk to.
Dr put me on pills.
Apologies for the downer blues.
Click to expand...
Nothing to be ashamed of mate , you have really had a tough time it's no wonder you are off work.Your boss sounds like a compassionate soul.
Regards the mortgage could you not speak to the mortgage company and explain the situation ( you can prove you are off with depression) they may be able to defer the repayments until you are back at work.
 
AUXLEN said:
Recently signed off work with depression. After I put my sick note in Boss called to infer it was my own fault. Then left a message complaining certain duties had not been taken care of. Awful. SSP barely covers my half of the mortgage. Sad times. Yeah, I should seek advice but it's all I can do to get out of bed and wash. Puts EFC into perspective, I suppose.

Last year: a relative died, a friend committed suicide, mum is now in a wheelchair from cancer, me in hospital 3 times with liver issues caused by gallbladder adhesions (still ongoing) and work not paying me sick.

Slightly ashamed I'm posting this here but nobody else to talk to.
Dr put me on pills.
Apologies for the downer blues.
Click to expand...
Your boss is bang out of order. It is not your fault and how can you complete tasks if you are off sick. Do you know what your company sick policy is ( if they have one) Some organisations require bosses to keep in touch if their staff are on long term sick. Maybe call once a week. But it is supposed to be supportive and helpful. If there isn't that requirement I would e mail and say that his/ her calls are not helping your recovery and you will contact them to inform them of any updates.
Write everything down and when you feel better go over their head. You won't be the only person they are treating like this.
 
AUXLEN said:
Recently signed off work with depression. After I put my sick note in Boss called to infer it was my own fault. Then left a message complaining certain duties had not been taken care of. Awful. SSP barely covers my half of the mortgage. Sad times. Yeah, I should seek advice but it's all I can do to get out of bed and wash. Puts EFC into perspective, I suppose.

Last year: a relative died, a friend committed suicide, mum is now in a wheelchair from cancer, me in hospital 3 times with liver issues caused by gallbladder adhesions (still ongoing) and work not paying me sick.

Slightly ashamed I'm posting this here but nobody else to talk to.
Dr put me on pills.
Apologies for the downer blues.
Click to expand...

That's a lot to be dealing with fella. Your boss is completely out of order and has probably just won you a tribunal for constructive dismissal.

Everybody seeks help on their own timeline and you've already gone to the doctor to talk about it, which is a brave and tough thing to do. You're here talking about it which is also great.

I hope you have the best day you can.
 
AUXLEN said:
Recently signed off work with depression. After I put my sick note in Boss called to infer it was my own fault. Then left a message complaining certain duties had not been taken care of. Awful. SSP barely covers my half of the mortgage. Sad times. Yeah, I should seek advice but it's all I can do to get out of bed and wash. Puts EFC into perspective, I suppose.

Last year: a relative died, a friend committed suicide, mum is now in a wheelchair from cancer, me in hospital 3 times with liver issues caused by gallbladder adhesions (still ongoing) and work not paying me sick.

Slightly ashamed I'm posting this here but nobody else to talk to.
Dr put me on pills.
Apologies for the downer blues.
Click to expand...
Just wanted to wish you the best mate. You have a lot going on and work adding to it.

Some great advice given here, all I'll add is make a record of everything related to work and always allow yourself time to react and think.

I have found from previous depressive / stressful episodes that your judgement can be impaired, so take things at your own pace and always seek advice and guidance if you need to. Do not do anything from a state of pressure or obligation, trust yourself and your feelings.
 
Lobster Johnson said:
I can't help but feel I've been shafted here. Put on 2 months notice that means I have to work like normal until end of march when I'm gone. No payoff at the end.

I asked to leave now. He said I'd have to resign. Again, no payoff but also no access to unemployment benefits.

So, 9 weeks as a lame duck with nothing to do.
Click to expand...
Sorry if I have missed something, mate, but what is their supposed reason for this? If it is performance related, have they been through the disciplinary stages per your contract? If it is redundancy, then why no payoff?
 

Lobster Johnson said:
I can't help but feel I've been shafted here. Put on 2 months notice that means I have to work like normal until end of march when I'm gone. No payoff at the end.

I asked to leave now. He said I'd have to resign. Again, no payoff but also no access to unemployment benefits.

So, 9 weeks as a lame duck with nothing to do.
Click to expand...
Hope you're well mate.
Either go off with stress or be awkward as feck.
Make everyday a nightmare for the gobshites.
A possitve spin?.
You've 9 weeks to try and get something else.
And remember, not every employer will be like these cowards.
 
AUXLEN said:
Recently signed off work with depression. After I put my sick note in Boss called to infer it was my own fault. Then left a message complaining certain duties had not been taken care of. Awful. SSP barely covers my half of the mortgage. Sad times. Yeah, I should seek advice but it's all I can do to get out of bed and wash. Puts EFC into perspective, I suppose.

Last year: a relative died, a friend committed suicide, mum is now in a wheelchair from cancer, me in hospital 3 times with liver issues caused by gallbladder adhesions (still ongoing) and work not paying me sick.

Slightly ashamed I'm posting this here but nobody else to talk to.
Dr put me on pills.
Apologies for the downer blues.
Click to expand...
Utterly disgraceful for a boss (or anyone really) to try and downplay something as serious as depression and treat you like that.

As some have already said you should definitely contact your union (if one is available to you) and discuss this, that's appalling to hear. Also make sure to keep any notes from any doctor's advice/medical assistance you have received just in case, always good to have the backing of medical professionals.

Don't think anyone would have come through the year you've had without mental scars. You're an incredibly strong individual.
 
Lobster Johnson said:
I can't help but feel I've been shafted here. Put on 2 months notice that means I have to work like normal until end of march when I'm gone. No payoff at the end.

I asked to leave now. He said I'd have to resign. Again, no payoff but also no access to unemployment benefits.

So, 9 weeks as a lame duck with nothing to do.
Click to expand...
Hi, are you UK based? If you are there are many rules and regulations about dismissal. They do not appear to have followed their disciplinary processes. Also if you ate in a redundancy situation they have to pay you redundancy pay - it varies depending on how old you ate. Don't go quietly. Ask questions. Seek advice from your union if you have one.
 

I made 2 huge mistakes today. I lost my bankcard and a small sum of cash on my way to work. Then I went home to look for it and told my GF what I'd done. She went predictably mad over why I can't do anything normally and why there's always something happening with me for about 20 minutes. I know that me getting fired and being a bit down about it must be stressful for her as well. I had a little panic attack that I tried to hide also (she thinks I do this to stop her being angry whereas in fact I just hate being yelled at: childhood hey?).

Anyway, I asked if we could have a normal 5 minutes before I had to go back to work and got told "But you're not normal!". Ouch.
 
Lobster Johnson said:
I made 2 huge mistakes today. I lost my bankcard and a small sum of cash on my way to work. Then I went home to look for it and told my GF what I'd done. She went predictably mad over why I can't do anything normally and why there's always something happening with me for about 20 minutes. I know that me getting fired and being a bit down about it must be stressful for her as well. I had a little panic attack that I tried to hide also (she thinks I do this to stop her being angry whereas in fact I just hate being yelled at: childhood hey?).

Anyway, I asked if we could have a normal 5 minutes before I had to go back to work and got told "But you're not normal!". Ouch.
Click to expand...
I wrote a reply and deleted it. probably for the best.
I have asked the following of someone else re his master of ceremonies and their kitchen and boat exploits....

the bit in bold. it's three mistakes. why tell her? phone to bank, lost my card, send me another please. Sorted. small sum of cash, five or ten quid?, "I bought a coffee at X (white lie) and threw the change in a charity collect" sorted! gotta start boxing clever, some things aren't worth getting a coating for.

"predictably mad" you even knew. if her going off is sending you on a spiral, stop telling her things! the 'normal' thing is her giving you a back hander, it's not right, I'm guessing she's riled up at the frequency of her getting riled up. boxing clever, calming the situation, level headed, minimise the impact, if I coughed up the yellow pages of fudge-ups I am responsible for....
A.) I'd still be on the witness stand
B.) I'd expect to be asked to leave the human race
C.) I'd probably only be allowed velcro fastening footwear and Y fronts....

Sometimes you've got to be good to yourself, 90% of the time honesty will hurt. you!
 
@Lobster Johnson

Here's a recent crackerjack! I had my bank card updated so had to update details expiry and card number for online shenanigans. I was tearing my hair out for a solid 30 minutes, for some reason the card wouldn't update with the new number. Turns out I was trying to input the 'card enquiries' telephone number in. I went and sat in the dark for a bit covered in shame.
 

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