Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Billy Dean]

I think a lot of what I do in my spare time, feels more like killing time and then all my problems are still there, rather than me really having fun. I sometimes feel better after I exercise, so I am trying to do that 3 times a week, where I can fit it in.
My wife talked to me about changing my job, I looked around and the job I do isn't exactly unique, but all the ones I found are on lower pay than i'm on now and further away from home and I might be just as stressed if I moved jobs and was on less money and seeing my kid less often.
I changed my shift in January and I think it helped a little, I worked 12-8 the last 2 years and I now do 10-6, it means I get a but more time with my family, but I think I am one of those people who actually likes to go into the office most days and have separation between work and home. If I dont then often when I am working from home I get distracted by jobs I need to do around the house. maybe I just need to give it more time?

Exercise is ace mate. I think most of us in this thread would vouch for it as a massive help. Re the job yeah maybe giving it time might be ok. Can you speak to your boss about your workload and see if there's anything you can delegate. Sometimes it can be as easy as telling people you're overloaded and you might get help

 

[Rita_Poon]

The change of season fixes a lot of ills, we're a month away from spring, more light, more sun, more warmth. It sure is a lot easier with summer to look forward to than winter to endure. Catching a bit of natural light, boost the vitamin D and some fresh air. A lot of the things we need we overlook because we take them for granted.

 

[edge]

The change of season fixes a lot of ills, we're a month away from spring, more light, more sun, more warmth. It sure is a lot easier with summer to look forward to than winter to endure. Catching a bit of natural light, boost the vitamin D and some fresh air. A lot of the things we need we overlook because we take them for granted.

Very true mate, already been back in my garden , got my bike ready and ready to go.
Had a bit of a blimp with anxiety before Xmas,
think I aways do to be honest, but Really looking forwards to a bit of getting about now.
Had a bit of a warning sigh of something kicking me off,
Same routine, let something go,
I am pretty placid most of the time these days.
get it into my head people think
i am a knob, because i let things go over my head, basically
most things I am not arsed about in work ect
then brood ,
then start to feel the anger building up and ready to explode ,
Thankfully able to open up to a few people which I find hard to and It get it under wraps again
Never to old to learn even at my age.
Wish I had an outlet year ago and the sense to realise the impact of keeping thing to yourself.

 

[YoboCopter]

The change of season fixes a lot of ills, we're a month away from spring, more light, more sun, more warmth. It sure is a lot easier with summer to look forward to than winter to endure. Catching a bit of natural light, boost the vitamin D and some fresh air. A lot of the things we need we overlook because we take them for granted.

So true getting exited thinking about it

Nothing seems as bad in the sun

 

[Vintage]

Ya for many it's a real jee up coming out of this miserable winter but for others that are extremely down in the dumps who are afraid or don't have the will to barely open their curtains even coming into the spring is as good as pure winter and 24 hours or darkness over and over

 

[Bryan+]

I’m currently looking at therapy and private ones I can get via work. I want one that specialises in bereavement and grief councillong, I’m struggling to prepare myself to be forced to talk about it though, I’ve found it easiest when someone asks me “how are you coping bry”, etc, but I can’t rely on informal conversations to fix what’s happened and I really need to get my head round the official style of therapy.

Plus most of the therapist I’ve looked at are women and I have a hard time discussing what’s happened with a woman. Those who know me know this isn’t a man v woman thing it’s just an awkward conversation to have with a strange woman.

 

[COYBL25]

I’m currently looking at therapy and private ones I can get via work. I want one that specialises in bereavement and grief councillong, I’m struggling to prepare myself to be forced to talk about it though, I’ve found it easiest when someone asks me “how are you coping bry”, etc, but I can’t rely on informal conversations to fix what’s happened and I really need to get my head round the official style of therapy.

Plus most of the therapist I’ve looked at are women and I have a hard time discussing what’s happened with a woman. Those who know me know this isn’t a man v woman thing it’s just an awkward conversation to have with a strange woman.

@Spotty is usually the man to give very good advice on difficult situations like this mate.

 

[Spotty]

@Spotty is usually the man to give very good advice on difficult situations like this mate.

Bryan first things first. There is no " forced " buddy. Therapy is a collaboration between 2 people who have one goal. To support the Client. Discuss with the people who are helping you arrange the Therapy and tell them your concerns and wishes. They WILL understand and make arrangements you will be happy with. I promise, Therapy is about you being comfortable and happy and subsequently, you'll be happy to discuss the things you want to talk about. A good therapist will discuss with you about what you want from it. Once your happy, any sessions can commence. You have NOTHING to worry about Bryan, I promise. I hope you can benefit from a supportive caring therapist. Take care my friend and if you need to have a chat please DM me.

Thank you COYBL25 Hope you are well.

 

[Jokerdan]

@Bryan+ - sorry to hear what you are going through. But take on board what @Spotty says. There is no 'one fits all' scenario and you are entitled, quite correctly, to voice any reservations you may have as, ultimately, the professionals are there to help and want you to feel comfortable and ensure your eventual recovery is sooner than later.

From my own personal experience I have found that female therapists are very empathetic and whilst I can understand your current reticence remember you are not being judged. Male or female they simply have your best interests at heart and want you focused on returning to your better self again.

Be positive and look forward to better times.

 

[Jokerdan]

I’m still astounded that this little thing I started and thought I’d be told off for has helped so many people.

Well in gang.

Fella, you should be plauded for having the insight to introduce this 'little thing' to the GOT forum. It has acted as a sounding board and advice centre for all afflicted with life's uncertainties and helped so many of us to realise that we are not alone.

It's contribution is also why, probably, the GOT forum is acknowledged as one of the best supporters websites available.

 

[Spotty]

@Bryan+ - sorry to hear what you are going through. But take on board what @Spotty says. There is no 'one fits all' scenario and you are entitled, quite correctly, to voice any reservations you may have as, ultimately, the professionals are there to help and want you to feel comfortable and ensure your eventual recovery is sooner than later.

From my own personal experience I have found that female therapists are very empathetic and whilst I can understand your current reticence remember you are not being judged. Male or female they simply have your best interests at heart and want you focused on returning to your better self again.

Be positive and look forward to better times.

Lovely post

 

[Gwladysover]

@Bryan+ , so sorry to hear you are having a very hard time at the moment, as usual the advice on here is spot on. As @Spotty says, there is nothing forced during counselling. I thought I would share my experience re counselling. I was referred for group therapy, something which filled me with absolute terror. I would have preferred a one to one basis. I wound myself up so much beforehand I was like a piece of chewed string. I could barely leave the house let alone sit in a room with strangers. I needn’t have worried The counsellors, a man and a woman were brilliant. We were told at the outset we were free to leave the room if it became too much and return when and if we felt comfortable. Absolutely no pressure. I came to love those sessions and was sorry when the course came to an end. I hope you gain the help and support you so obviously need. Best wishes.

 

[Bluerover]

I just read an excellent article in the new bi-monthly Conversations which is a new publication launched to mark the 800th anniversary of the arrival of the Dominicans , or the Order of Preachers, in Ireland.

It is written by Michael Ford, an author and theologian living in London, and is entitled Chasing the Stigma of Mental Illness - A Comedian's Journey from Despair to Hope.

Jake Mills, from St Matthew's Parish, Walton, was a stand-up comedian who away from the public eye, was deeply depressed, and ultimately came close to taking his own life.

Thank God, he was stopped in time by his then girlfriend Rachel and went on, as he recovered, to set up 'Chasing the Stigma'.

You might like to see the website:

https://www.chasingthestigma.co.uk/about/#:~:text=Chasing the Stigma is a,and wherever they need it.

and ...... Jake is a huge Evertonian!!

Ford writes 'Jake says it was his brain rather than his heart which would tell him how to feel, whether watching his beloved Everton football team; listening to music, or chatting to close friends. He was living inside a bubble which, at the time, nobody recognised, least of all himself. 'There was a disconnect with everything. A numbness. Just nothing there...where was my life going? It was a caiuldron of not feeling well and not doing something about it at an early stage'.

Jake founded Chasing the Stigma and is now happily married to Rachel with two children. The charity is now one of the most successful mental health charities in the UK.

On eof the charity's key aims is to encourage people who may be suffering in silence to realise that they don't need to feel isolated in their loneliness. There is always someone who can help. Ten years ago Jake didn't know where to turn to for professional understanding.

'My story was not unusual but, once people heard it , it was enough for them to get in touch. That was when I realised the power of lived experience and the power of hope.....No matter how lonely or isolated you feel, you are never alone'.

I am also posting this in the Messymascot thread. Groucho's Depression thread.

God bless all you Blues!!

 

[Bluerover]

Too late to edit the message but delighted to see Everton FC are listed as supporters of the Charity's Ambassadors of Hope.

 

[JelavicBrate2]

Been taking Citlophram, for 4 months granted I have been drinking in that time, but I've noticed physical health problems. How long does it take to get use to tablets, should I stop taking tablets. Are there other anti depressants with less side effects.