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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Does anyone have suicidal thoughts? How do you cope?
Suicidal thoughts themselves can be very anxiety provoking can't they. They are not normal, so don't ignore them. Even it you've said it in a " blaze " fashion. The fact you've considered it as a " possible " option to the problems you're experiencing is a concern.

Sit down with someone you trust, or love, or care about, you get the message. Talk and be honest. Think why you have said it. What has caused you to think that. If I was your nurse I'd ask if you've had them before. If yes, how did you cope. Can you use the same coping strategies?. If not what has changed. What in your life is causing you to ask that question.? It's not the pre contemplative stage, but your heading there. Can I suggest you give you're thoughts and feelings your full attention. Can you start to feel better? Of course you can, you may be feeling better already. But it's a very very serious question and it can't be answered with a contemtiius answer, a shrug off. Try to get go the bottom of why you asked that question Ayesha. Be pro active and don't be afraid to ask for help. You're question is a worrying one., please ask some more questions abouts it's origin. Seek support and help. If you feel you would like to talk to someone about it, message me, no confidentiality issues my friend as others can attest to on here. Take care
 
I'm at the point of giving up now. Over the past 13 months, i've had;

26th Dec 2022 - Freak hailstorm, go from lane 3 to facing the wrong way on the hard shoulder - lacked a little confidence driving since.
31st July 2023 - Had a stroke. Missed quite a few days off work because they wouldn't allow me to work from home like everyone else can.
Early november, admitted to hospital with gaulstones which caused pancreatitis and jaundis/jaundice
7th December - Operation to remove the gaulbladder.
early jan - found out the most likely reason for the stroke is due to me having a hole in my heart - of which im told im being referred to see if im eligible to have surgery to fix it.
18th Jan - let go from work and unemployed for teh first time since coming from University after six years busting a gut for them.

It's at thje point now where medication doesn't even make a dent. The amount of punches I've had to take the the past year. I'm just done. Absolutely done.
 
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I'm at the point of giving up now. Over the past 13 months, i've had;

26th Dec 2022 - Freak hailstorm, go from lane 3 to facing the wrong way on the hard shoulder - lacked a little confidence driving since.
31st July 2023 - Had a stroke. Missed quite a few days off work because they wouldn't allow me to work from home like everyone else can.
Early november, admitted to hospital with gaulstones which caused pancreatitis and jaundis/jaundice
7th December - Operation to remove the gaulbladder.
early jan - found out the most likely reason for the stroke is due to me having a hole in my heart - of which im told im being referred to see if im eligible to have surgery to fix it.
18th Jan - let go from work and unemployed for teh first time since coming from University after six years busting a gut for them.

It's at thje point now where medication doesn't even make a dent. The amount of punches I've had to take the the past year. I'm just done. Absolutely done.

I‘m so sorry to hear of all that‘s happened to you mate. Do you have friends and family anyone close that can you support / talk to ?

The bad times can seem to come in waves and things can seem hopeless, but they never are.

If you do require surgery to fix the hole in your heart, it could be the start of better things to come ;)
 
Going through one of my dark old spells . Questioning life decisions and feeling a bit like I've wasted a lot of it .
It usually passes with time but while it's there the world is a place I prefer to shut myself off from.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling ;)
 
I‘m so sorry to hear of all that‘s happened to you mate. Do you have friends and family anyone close that can you support / talk to ?

The bad times can seem to come in waves and things can seem hopeless, but they never are.

If you do require surgery to fix the hole in your heart, it could be the start of better things to come ;)

Wife, mum and dad, and 1 mate who would happily answer the phone (and did so after i left the job we used to work together at). Otherwise no. Brothers aren't bothered. Neither of them got in touch when I had my surgery. There is now no relationship between any of the siblings really. Didn't even get to see my two nephews over Christmas which was sad.

Ironically my parents were buzzing to learn I'm no longer working for them. I don't know how my mum is coping, she's been a carer for my dad after he cheated death in a car crash where an actor destroyed his body and got away with it. I dont want to put too much burden on her.

I've always coped well with only having my parents and my wife as the inner support - im a bit introverted and meeting new people is extremely hard for me, especially since I don't really drink (and had a massive bender 2 days before my stroke so haven't drank since really). Im at the point where I feel like me being so shy/introverted/sensitive/closed off in college and uni is biting me in the backside because I have no circle of friends.

Life is just absolutely [Poor language removed]. Every day a struggle and losing the will.
 
Going through one of my dark old spells . Questioning life decisions and feeling a bit like I've wasted a lot of it .
It usually passes with time but while it's there the world is a place I prefer to shut myself off from.
Can relate to this alot mate. I go through this same thought process many times about decisions I've made and how life would be better if I'd done things differently.
People around me will always say, you can't change the past, only the future!
 

The person that never made a mistake never made anything.

Our errors are there to teach us.

Everything Midas touched turned to gold, and then he needed a pee!

Ruminating is normal, what could have been. When it starts to steal time from you today preventing progress towards tomorrow is when it becomes a leach. I don't know why the best most amazing moments in life can't eclipse the lowest, it's human frailty. Try not to dwell. A change of scene, some fresh air, a good laugh, a decent nights sleep. It's difficult and managing expectation is a nightmare, where should I be, how successful ought I to have achieved. It's all for the birds. Try to be nice to yourself for a bit. We are all our own worst enemy and also our own saviour. Pick the later.
 
The person that never made a mistake never made anything.

Our errors are there to teach us.

Everything Midas touched turned to gold, and then he needed a pee!

Ruminating is normal, what could have been. When it starts to steal time from you today preventing progress towards tomorrow is when it becomes a leach. I don't know why the best most amazing moments in life can't eclipse the lowest, it's human frailty. Try not to dwell. A change of scene, some fresh air, a good laugh, a decent nights sleep. It's difficult and managing expectation is a nightmare, where should I be, how successful ought I to have achieved. It's all for the birds. Try to be nice to yourself for a bit. We are all our own worst enemy and also our own saviour. Pick the later.
Exactly this!
 
The person that never made a mistake never made anything.

Our errors are there to teach us.

Everything Midas touched turned to gold, and then he needed a pee!

Ruminating is normal, what could have been. When it starts to steal time from you today preventing progress towards tomorrow is when it becomes a leach. I don't know why the best most amazing moments in life can't eclipse the lowest, it's human frailty. Try not to dwell. A change of scene, some fresh air, a good laugh, a decent nights sleep. It's difficult and managing expectation is a nightmare, where should I be, how successful ought I to have achieved. It's all for the birds. Try to be nice to yourself for a bit. We are all our own worst enemy and also our own saviour. Pick the later.

the later?

i don’t care about all the rules n stuff mate lol

i just want the points back because it’s maybe going to send us down!
 
Going through one of my dark old spells . Questioning life decisions and feeling a bit like I've wasted a lot of it .
It usually passes with time but while it's there the world is a place I prefer to shut myself off from.
Don't lock yourself away for to long. I did exactly this on and off for a couple of years then two years a go I started locking myself away consistently only going out for work.
At weekends I only get out of bed for food or 2 visit my dad for an hour. I'm stuck in a rut.
Please don't make my mistake as I'm struggling to fix it now.
 
Wife, mum and dad, and 1 mate who would happily answer the phone (and did so after i left the job we used to work together at). Otherwise no. Brothers aren't bothered. Neither of them got in touch when I had my surgery. There is now no relationship between any of the siblings really. Didn't even get to see my two nephews over Christmas which was sad.

Ironically my parents were buzzing to learn I'm no longer working for them. I don't know how my mum is coping, she's been a carer for my dad after he cheated death in a car crash where an actor destroyed his body and got away with it. I dont want to put too much burden on her.

I've always coped well with only having my parents and my wife as the inner support - im a bit introverted and meeting new people is extremely hard for me, especially since I don't really drink (and had a massive bender 2 days before my stroke so haven't drank since really). Im at the point where I feel like me being so shy/introverted/sensitive/closed off in college and uni is biting me in the backside because I have no circle of friends.

Life is just absolutely [Poor language removed]. Every day a struggle and losing the will.
What you've been through sounds horrendous mate. Probably every one of us here would be feeling absolutely awful if it happened to us. I agree with @COYBL25 though bad times don't last forever and they often bring better times and new opportunities with them.
 

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