Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Charro]

Congratulations mate. It's going to be fine!

Anything you're particularly worried about.

Thank you mate.

Suppose all the normal things people worry about in this situation.

How my life is going to change, will I have time to enjoy life anymore, finances, am I ready etc..

Although we have spoken about it over the last couple of months it was still very unexpected so I’ve been in a state of shock over the last couple of days.

Getting my head around it I’ve realised although our situation isn’t great, it could be a lot worse and this is a really good thing for us.

Money wise we are ok, she works fully remote, I’m home three days a week which is a huge blessing, and we have a massive support network with her family as well.

My biggest worry though is that support network is in Cumbria and we are in liverpool.

We currently renting a small terraced house in quite a remote area as I needed to be close to my mum who was terminally ill.

We never thought we’d be here four years down the line and we certainly didn’t expect to be having a child here so that’s the most stressful part id say, as it will be just us two for a lot of the time.

We are planning on moving up near her parents when we’ve had the child (all being well) so I’d need to look for a job up there and the options aren’t great.

Will pretty much have my life turned upside down over the next year or so.

I have severe social anxiety and when I went through therapy for it my therapist said my need to control and plan everything in my life was a root cause of it so it’s all a bit much to get my head around at the moment.

Thanks for all the comments everyone. Sometimes all you need to hear is everything will be ok.

 

[YoboCopter]

Thank you mate.

Suppose all the normal things people worry about in this situation.

How my life is going to change, will I have time to enjoy life anymore, finances, am I ready etc..

Although we have spoken about it over the last couple of months it was still very unexpected so I’ve been in a state of shock over the last couple of days.

Getting my head around it I’ve realised although our situation isn’t great, it could be a lot worse and this is a really good thing for us.

Money wise we are ok, she works fully remote, I’m home three days a week which is a huge blessing, and we have a massive support network with her family as well.

My biggest worry though is that support network is in Cumbria and we are in liverpool.

We currently renting a small terraced house in quite a remote area as I needed to be close to my mum who was terminally ill.

We never thought we’d be here four years down the line and we certainly didn’t expect to be having a child here so that’s the most stressful part id say, as it will be just us two for a lot of the time.

We are planning on moving up near her parents when we’ve had the child (all being well) so I’d need to look for a job up there and the options aren’t great.

Will pretty much have my life turned upside down over the next year or so.

I have severe social anxiety and when I went through therapy for it my therapist said my need to control and plan everything in my life was a root cause of it so it’s all a bit much to get my head around at the moment.

Thanks for all the comments everyone. Sometimes all you need to hear is everything will be ok.

Once a child arrives non of that will even matter mate you will make it work

Be amazing

 

[Amokachi1995]

Thank you mate.

Suppose all the normal things people worry about in this situation.

How my life is going to change, will I have time to enjoy life anymore, finances, am I ready etc..

Although we have spoken about it over the last couple of months it was still very unexpected so I’ve been in a state of shock over the last couple of days.

Getting my head around it I’ve realised although our situation isn’t great, it could be a lot worse and this is a really good thing for us.

Money wise we are ok, she works fully remote, I’m home three days a week which is a huge blessing, and we have a massive support network with her family as well.

My biggest worry though is that support network is in Cumbria and we are in liverpool.

We currently renting a small terraced house in quite a remote area as I needed to be close to my mum who was terminally ill.

We never thought we’d be here four years down the line and we certainly didn’t expect to be having a child here so that’s the most stressful part id say, as it will be just us two for a lot of the time.

We are planning on moving up near her parents when we’ve had the child (all being well) so I’d need to look for a job up there and the options aren’t great.

Will pretty much have my life turned upside down over the next year or so.

I have severe social anxiety and when I went through therapy for it my therapist said my need to control and plan everything in my life was a root cause of it so it’s all a bit much to get my head around at the moment.

Thanks for all the comments everyone. Sometimes all you need to hear is everything will be ok.

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Also sounds like you're thinking about it in a sensible way.

I feel hesitant to give advice but all I will say is make sure you keep communicating with your partner both before and after the birth. You'll both have ups and downs. And don't put pressure on yourself for everything to be perfect. Some elements of having a child are literally crap! In the long run though I'm sure all will be fine and you'll be glad you've done it.

 

[coollino]

Once a child arrives non of that will even matter mate you will make it work

Be amazing

Yeah this is pretty much true, nearly all planning goes out the window at the start. At the start you don't really have time to worry about things too

 

[PKwalnuts]

Hey guys. I just wanted to say that there's been a load of really bad stuff in my life recently. I have been doing a lot of reading about various mushrooms and started taking lions mane supplement. I can't recommend it enough. Might be worth having a look at

Mate of mine says the same too

 

[Rita_Poon]

@Bungle hope you’re doing ok mate, really sorry to hear what you’re going through and sorry I missed your first post the other day. Really gutted for you and the family.

You have been such a light on here and have helped so many people just with your humour and wit, you won’t even know you have. You have certainly cheered me up on numerous occasions, so hope we can help you out now.

Do things for you and your kids mate, they will need you and you need to look after yourself. You’ve got tonnes of friends on here, if you ever need talk to us mate. Take care.

Anyone got a line on Bungle?

 

[ForeverBlue92]

My mrs is pregnant.

Still very early stages at the moment but I’am absolutely petrified.

Can people tell me it’s going to be ok?

Congratulations my friend. My missus is 17 weeks with our 2nd child - we have our abnormality scan in 4 weeks time to hopefully find out the gender so I am also on the same journey as yourself.

Mind you I am in a much better position than I was the first time around - emotionally, spiritually & financially.

My only advice is enjoy the experience for what it is, its daunting but its a privileged position to be in. Unfortunately we had 2 consecutive miscarriages over recent years and when that happens it makes you realise more than ever how privileged it is to be able to bring a healthy child into the world, something I didn't appreciate the first time around.

Good luck sir, you'll learn as you go along I am certain.

 

[Rita_Poon]

Congratulations my friend. My missus is 17 weeks with our 2nd child - we have our abnormality scan in 4 weeks time to hopefully find out the gender so I am also on the same journey as yourself.

Mind you I am in a much better position than I was the first time around - emotionally, spiritually & financially.

My only advice is enjoy the experience for what it is, its daunting but its a privileged position to be in. Unfortunately we had 2 consecutive miscarriages over recent years and when that happens it makes you realise more than ever how privileged it is to be able to bring a healthy child into the world.

Good luck sir, you'll learn as you go along I am certain.

Have a like which has arrived, have a sad for your 2 separate losses. I can't imagine the pain of a lost pregnancy. Congrats to all three of you for a fourth little life joining the family.

 

[Encoder]

Hello:

Does anyone have any advice for someone who is feeling like they aren't being helped by their GP at all?

- I have tried 3 different SNRI/SSRIs of varying strengths - all had no positive effect and all made me feel really sick and gain a load of weight. I have now weened myself off the last one (venlafaxine) and legitimately feel better about meself.
- I had one autism screening (10 questions) and have been deemed just under the limit for further consideration so boom: done, no more.
- No other help beyond more SSRI/SNRIs and talking therapies. I've signed up for the talking therapies even though I hate this with every fibre of my being.

Anyway I always get the spiel of 'come back if you feel bad/worse' even though all they do is offer me more antidepressents which I don't want or encourage talking therapies which I'm already signed up for. I feel worse than ever cause there seems to be no actual help left.

Cheers.

 

[Sean Ashley]

As someone with Autism I am happy to give any advise you need

Hello:

Does anyone have any advice for someone who is feeling like they aren't being helped by their GP at all?

- I have tried 3 different SNRI/SSRIs of varying strengths - all had no positive effect and all made me feel really sick and gain a load of weight. I have now weened myself off the last one (venlafaxine) and legitimately feel better about meself.
- I had one autism screening (10 questions) and have been deemed just under the limit for further consideration so boom: done, no more.
- No other help beyond more SSRI/SNRIs and talking therapies. I've signed up for the talking therapies even though I hate this with every fibre of my being.

Anyway I always get the spiel of 'come back if you feel bad/worse' even though all they do is offer me more antidepressents which I don't want or encourage talking therapies which I'm already signed up for. I feel worse than ever cause there seems to be no actual help left.

Cheers.

 

[Billy Dean]

Hello:

Does anyone have any advice for someone who is feeling like they aren't being helped by their GP at all?

- I have tried 3 different SNRI/SSRIs of varying strengths - all had no positive effect and all made me feel really sick and gain a load of weight. I have now weened myself off the last one (venlafaxine) and legitimately feel better about meself.
- I had one autism screening (10 questions) and have been deemed just under the limit for further consideration so boom: done, no more.
- No other help beyond more SSRI/SNRIs and talking therapies. I've signed up for the talking therapies even though I hate this with every fibre of my being.

Anyway I always get the spiel of 'come back if you feel bad/worse' even though all they do is offer me more antidepressents which I don't want or encourage talking therapies which I'm already signed up for. I feel worse than ever cause there seems to be no actual help left.

Cheers.

What don't you like about talking therapies mate?

 

[jamieni]

Congratulations my friend. My missus is 17 weeks with our 2nd child - we have our abnormality scan in 4 weeks time to hopefully find out the gender so I am also on the same journey as yourself.

Mind you I am in a much better position than I was the first time around - emotionally, spiritually & financially.

My only advice is enjoy the experience for what it is, its daunting but its a privileged position to be in. Unfortunately we had 2 consecutive miscarriages over recent years and when that happens it makes you realise more than ever how privileged it is to be able to bring a healthy child into the world, something I didn't appreciate the first time around.

Good luck sir, you'll learn as you go along I am certain.

Congratulations mate and all the best wishes in the world. I’ve known the same pain, we have had a number of miscarriages and it took a huge toll on my wife and I in terms of our mental health. Thanks to therapy and sticking together through some tough times we are both in a much better place today. And we are so grateful for our little boy who turned 8 last week.

Life can be so cruel some times but the positives can make it all worthwhile!

 

[Lobworm]

Hello:

Does anyone have any advice for someone who is feeling like they aren't being helped by their GP at all?

- I have tried 3 different SNRI/SSRIs of varying strengths - all had no positive effect and all made me feel really sick and gain a load of weight. I have now weened myself off the last one (venlafaxine) and legitimately feel better about meself.
- I had one autism screening (10 questions) and have been deemed just under the limit for further consideration so boom: done, no more.
- No other help beyond more SSRI/SNRIs and talking therapies. I've signed up for the talking therapies even though I hate this with every fibre of my being.

Anyway I always get the spiel of 'come back if you feel bad/worse' even though all they do is offer me more antidepressents which I don't want or encourage talking therapies which I'm already signed up for. I feel worse than ever cause there seems to be no actual help left.

Cheers.

Might a change of GP help, mate?
Meds aren't for everyone, if you're feeling better about yourself without them, happy days.
Re: the talking therapies, there are different types, as our mate above asks, what is it about them you don't like? What sort of talking therapies have you had?

 

[COYBL25]

Hello:

Does anyone have any advice for someone who is feeling like they aren't being helped by their GP at all?

- I have tried 3 different SNRI/SSRIs of varying strengths - all had no positive effect and all made me feel really sick and gain a load of weight. I have now weened myself off the last one (venlafaxine) and legitimately feel better about meself.
- I had one autism screening (10 questions) and have been deemed just under the limit for further consideration so boom: done, no more.
- No other help beyond more SSRI/SNRIs and talking therapies. I've signed up for the talking therapies even though I hate this with every fibre of my being.

Anyway I always get the spiel of 'come back if you feel bad/worse' even though all they do is offer me more antidepressents which I don't want or encourage talking therapies which I'm already signed up for. I feel worse than ever cause there seems to be no actual help left.

Cheers.

I`ve had the good GP / bad GP experience too mate, the bad GP got me hooked on sedatives and wasn`t arsed one little bit.

The good GP put me onto a fantastic counsellor, who really did help me no end.

It wasn`t that she " cured me ", it was the fact that she helped me understand why I was feeling the way I was feeling and how to manage it.

I only had twelve sessions with her and would`ve loved to have more, but it`s all down to money at the end of the day.

So, what I`d say is go there with an open mind and you may be pleasantly surprised.

The single biggest thing that helps me keep the lid on things is my running. That in itself is an anti depressant, even if I just get out and do 30 mins, I come back and feel so much better than when I went out.

I know exercise isn`t for anyone, but some GP`s are able to prescribe gym membership, c/o of a government initiative, so that may be worth looking at ?

 

[Alanbileysfeathercut]

Hello:

Does anyone have any advice for someone who is feeling like they aren't being helped by their GP at all?

- I have tried 3 different SNRI/SSRIs of varying strengths - all had no positive effect and all made me feel really sick and gain a load of weight. I have now weened myself off the last one (venlafaxine) and legitimately feel better about meself.
- I had one autism screening (10 questions) and have been deemed just under the limit for further consideration so boom: done, no more.
- No other help beyond more SSRI/SNRIs and talking therapies. I've signed up for the talking therapies even though I hate this with every fibre of my being.

Anyway I always get the spiel of 'come back if you feel bad/worse' even though all they do is offer me more antidepressents which I don't want or encourage talking therapies which I'm already signed up for. I feel worse than ever cause there seems to be no actual help left.

Cheers.

Keep trying.
Gps that is.
OIf its a surgery ask for a different one.
Speak or phone the receptionist ask if any doctor might be more experienced.
Good luck.