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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues
- Thread starter Groucho
- Start date
Rita_Poon
Player Valuation: £90m
That is a rough hit. No doubt. Try not to spiral with it, the surrounding fog of loss often leaves us directionless, as you have your parents they'll be the influence that get's you back level.
Vintage
Player Valuation: £60m
Ya mate. Very important to keep busy and the mind off things a bit too
Gwladysover
Player Valuation: £35m
How terrible for you. You have the loving support of your parents which is absolutely the best thing as you come to terms with your new situation. My best wishes to you.
Bebo I'm interested in the " came out of nowhere ..." part of your comment. Might I suggest you feeling low, anxious and down - is a period of time where you have somehow, managed to cope or subdue. " Came out of nowhere ..." is the sudden feeling where you are struggling to think of anything other than your depression. That vile, grotesque period of constance, where you can't think of nothing but how bad you feel and you can't shake it off.
You are the expert in your illness, I promise you are. Sometimes people like me will suggest this, suggest that, and a lot of what is said - what I say is - is based on evidence. However, sometimes the best way to cope is just to, if you have friends and family, spend time with them. They may give you the reasons to carry on, to help you keep going and they're demonstration of love and kindness towards you can help you think " differently " and give you that little bit of motivation. Sometimes bud there are signs that your mental health is deteriorating and it really is, often loved ones and family who notice first. Isolating yourself, mood change, appetite changes, hygiene changes. Listen to them and share that your struggling. Tell people. Say " my mental health is very poor and I need help ". Watch the hands go up. " I'll help, I'll help, me too ".
In summary, tell people, share your " pain ", be honest, and literally if you can ask for help. People will restore your faith in humanity, give you hope and gradually, at your own pace you'll recover the normality of life you strive for.
( I'm aware you posted a number of days ago but none the less, I hope some of what I have said, helps someone. I don't say this too often but, if anyone gets to the point where they feel it's all a bit much for them, DM me and I will get back to them when I can ). Take care all.
Bebo I'm interested in the " came out of nowhere ..." part of your comment. Might I suggest you feeling low, anxious and down - is a period of time where you have somehow, managed to cope or subdue. " Came out of nowhere ..." is the sudden feeling where you are struggling to think of anything other than your depression. That vile, grotesque period of constance, where you can't think of nothing but how bad you feel and you can't shake it off.
You are the expert in your illness, I promise you are. Sometimes people like me will suggest this, suggest that, and a lot of what is said - what I say is - is based on evidence. However, sometimes the best way to cope is just to, if you have friends and family, spend time with them. They may give you the reasons to carry on, to help you keep going and they're demonstration of love and kindness towards you can help you think " differently " and give you that little bit of motivation. Sometimes bud there are signs that your mental health is deteriorating and it really is, often loved ones and family who notice first. Isolating yourself, mood change, appetite changes, hygiene changes. Listen to them and share that your struggling. Tell people. Say " my mental health is very poor and I need help ". Watch the hands go up. " I'll help, I'll help, me too ".
In summary, tell people, share your " pain ", be honest, and literally if you can ask for help. People will restore your faith in humanity, give you hope and gradually, at your own pace you'll recover the normality of life you strive for.
( I'm aware you posted a number of days ago but none the less, I hope some of what I have said, helps someone. I don't say this too often but, if anyone gets to the point where they feel it's all a bit much for them, DM me and I will get back to them when I can ). Take care all.
Exactly this. You work it all out.
I'm so sorry about this. It must be awful for you. Mums and Dads are very important. We've had a rough time over the last few months and I have many times wished my Dad was still with us so I could get his advice and support.
Apologies for the late reply @Preki the above is really sound advice. Suspension is a neutral act while they investigate the situation - it should have no impact on any settlement and @Lobworm is also right in that grievances can take ages - in my experiences they rarely come in within the time scales. If you do get signed off, make sure your fit note says workplace stress/anxiety whatever but ensure that the cause of your poor mental health is recoded as being entirely work based and that it is recorded in the accident book like any other workplace injuryI don't know the whole story mate, obviously. But I think jumping ship now would be premature, professionally and financially. Take as long as possible with a phased return, you dictate the timescale. Obviously if the mental health issue gets too much, go with your gut.
Take your time with the grievances, make sure you log every single event, lay it out precisely and professionally, mention witnesses etc. Timing is everything. Once done, then you can let the grievances run their course (making further grievances if anything new comes to light, especially if they don't follow policy*).
IMO the financial value is in the sick leave. I respectfully disagree with the union saying wtte "as I've been paid during my suspension it's unlikely I'll get much of a payout" I was told the exact opposite, though in all fairness it was a long time ago. When they gets a series of grievances in their inbox, then you get signed off, I will be very surprised if they don't offer you at least 3 months for everything to go away.
WRT your union rep, get a second opinion. One union rep who I used, high flyer for NASUWT, later became CEO or thereabouts at a local borough council. Some of them know which side their bread is buttered.
* make sure you familiarise yourself with every single policy and be a totalend. If they stray from any policy, even slightly, file another grievance.
Preki
Player Valuation: £15m
Thanks. Negotiations are taking place.
Bungle
Player Valuation: £90m
Evening all, just wanted to say thanks for the messages in here and privately, apologies I've not responded to any of the pm's yet but I'll get round to it at some point so please don't think I don't appreciate it.
As I've said to someone else I was fairly embarrassed after posting about my situation, but have been overwhelmed by the kind words when I'm just generally a bit of a sarcastic knobhead on the forum. I'm doing alright, things are all a bit weird and different for now.
I've signed up to fight again so if all else fails I'll get my head punched in and won't remember any of this happening anyway.
As I've said to someone else I was fairly embarrassed after posting about my situation, but have been overwhelmed by the kind words when I'm just generally a bit of a sarcastic knobhead on the forum. I'm doing alright, things are all a bit weird and different for now.
I've signed up to fight again so if all else fails I'll get my head punched in and won't remember any of this happening anyway.
Rita_Poon
Player Valuation: £90m
Glad you're back, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. And as a conscript to the sarcastic knobhead crew, I for one welcome one of our leading officers back into the fold. Hoorah!
Nice hear from you. Sarcastic knobheads are the fabric of society!
Lobworm
Player Valuation: £8m
Absolutely this.
efcjames
Player Valuation: £35m
Hi all, been a long time since I’ve posted on this thread
I’ve been using cocaine and alcohol frequently for many years now, but for the past year or so coke has become a big problem, causing severe family and financial issues.
I’m a complete idiot for getting into it in the first place, but if anyone here has any experience with it and has managed to knock it on the head I would really love to hear how you did it
Xxxx
I’ve been using cocaine and alcohol frequently for many years now, but for the past year or so coke has become a big problem, causing severe family and financial issues.
I’m a complete idiot for getting into it in the first place, but if anyone here has any experience with it and has managed to knock it on the head I would really love to hear how you did it
Xxxx