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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Blueclouds said:
My husband died suddenly early sat morning. He was only 49. Our two daughters early 20s are in bits. I'm terrified the dark clouds over my family won't ever shift. Not sure this is the appropriate place to post as my daughters worshipped their dad as the girls were his life. I'm terrified and totally broken.
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I think the most important thing you can do is look after eachother as much as possible, at least none of you are alone. Take care
 
Blueclouds said:
My husband died suddenly early sat morning. He was only 49. Our two daughters early 20s are in bits. I'm terrified the dark clouds over my family won't ever shift. Not sure this is the appropriate place to post as my daughters worshipped their dad as the girls were his life. I'm terrified and totally broken.
Click to expand...
Really heartbreaking, I’m so very sad to read this. It’s so hard I know - my immediate suggestion is to speak to a doctor for some support and if you have a good friend or family member who can support you in what you’re going through will be a huge help.
 
Blueclouds said:
My husband died suddenly early sat morning. He was only 49. Our two daughters early 20s are in bits. I'm terrified the dark clouds over my family won't ever shift. Not sure this is the appropriate place to post as my daughters worshipped their dad as the girls were his life. I'm terrified and totally broken.
Click to expand...
So very sad to read this. You and your daughters have a had a tremendous shock, you must give yourselves time to grieve and come to terms with your loss. Do you have wider family for support? In the meantime take comfort in each other and know that one day the dark clouds will part. My very best wishes to you and your daughters.💙
 
Blueclouds said:
My husband died suddenly early sat morning. He was only 49. Our two daughters early 20s are in bits. I'm terrified the dark clouds over my family won't ever shift. Not sure this is the appropriate place to post as my daughters worshipped their dad as the girls were his life. I'm terrified and totally broken.
Click to expand...
Ive lost both mum and dad, many years ago, and it still hurts. I won't pretend to know how you feel because I don't but please click the link. MIND is a wonderfully, plain speaking Organisation. Have a read please, see what you think. God Bless.

www.mind.org.uk

What is bereavement?

Read about what bereavement and grief are and how they affect different people, including anticipatory grief and secondary loss.
www.mind.org.uk
 

I've suffered with anxiety on and off for over 20 years. Potentially I've always had it, but I used to drink a lot so that masked the issue. As I became a "responsible" adult it got worse. It manifests itself in my home environment meaning I'm constantly looking for potential issues with the house or something to stress about..We had some issues with a few neighbours in other properties which started this,. and in this house we had a big extension done which was very stressful for me, and this is probably why I fixate on it. I know if it wasn't that it would be something else, as it's basically my brain trying to induce a fight or flight response. I don't have any issues at work, but I haven't had a stable job since COVID. While I'm doing a fixed term contract it gets better, but when I've got too much time on my hands (or brain) it comes back. I know it's all about perception and perspective, but it can get very tiring when I'm in a negative state of mind. I've done CBT and it helped but I just have to accept that it's my personality and get through the bad times. I can go months without it being an issue but currently I'm not great. Not really looking for advice as such just wanted to vent. I love the forum and I used to be on this thread a lot more many years ago, which I suppose tells you that I cope better these days!
 
hallamblue said:
I've suffered with anxiety on and off for over 20 years. Potentially I've always had it, but I used to drink a lot so that masked the issue. As I became a "responsible" adult it got worse. It manifests itself in my home environment meaning I'm constantly looking for potential issues with the house or something to stress about..We had some issues with a few neighbours in other properties which started this,. and in this house we had a big extension done which was very stressful for me, and this is probably why I fixate on it. I know if it wasn't that it would be something else, as it's basically my brain trying to induce a fight or flight response. I don't have any issues at work, but I haven't had a stable job since COVID. While I'm doing a fixed term contract it gets better, but when I've got too much time on my hands (or brain) it comes back. I know it's all about perception and perspective, but it can get very tiring when I'm in a negative state of mind. I've done CBT and it helped but I just have to accept that it's my personality and get through the bad times. I can go months without it being an issue but currently I'm not great. Not really looking for advice as such just wanted to vent. I love the forum and I used to be on this thread a lot more many years ago, which I suppose tells you that I cope better these days!
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Hello mate,

I’m a long term anxiety sufferer and what keeps the lid on things for me is exercise.

Even a thirty minute jog sorts me out for the day.

I know finding even a spare thirty minutes to get out and do something can be difficult for some due to their busy lives / domestic circumstances ( it winds my missus up no end, when I take my running gear with us, when we go away ! )

I know it’s very hilly where you live, so it wouldn’t even have to be a run, just a good thirty mins or so walking and make it part of your daily routine ( if you can ) and I’ll guarantee that your anxiety will start to dampen down.

Ale is a real kicker for turbo charging anxiety too - hang anxiety / the fear.
 
Only just noticed this thread. Super work guys. It's nice to see other blues being nice to each other.
COYBL25 said:
Ale is a real kicker for turbo charging anxiety too - hang anxiety / the fear.
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Can only echo this. It can easily become a vicious circle. I'm speaking as somebody who was only sporadically (maybe 15-20 days) sober from 2008-2019. I'm amazed I'm still alive tbh. Several times I went 4 or 5 days without eating because I couldn't afford food and ale. I was only in that financial situation because of the booze in the first place, and finances, particularly relating to kids and ex birds were one of the things that kick started my leap in to abyss. As I say; vicious circle. I'd never tell anybody what to do, but I'd avoid booze at all costs if you're not in a good place mentally.

Anyway, I'm happily married now and doing much better. I've been pissed once in the last 5 years, but I'm still feeling strong. I'd like to be able to offer some advice on anybody struggling with alcohol, but I know it's really not that simple. The thing I'd really struggle with is that just as it got me to my most euphoric and carefree moments, I'd generally end up falling asleep, before waking up in a deep dark hole. It's a [Poor language removed].
 
COYBL25 said:
Hello mate,

I’m a long term anxiety sufferer and what keeps the lid on things for me is exercise.

Even a thirty minute jog sorts me out for the day.

I know finding even a spare thirty minutes to get out and do something can be difficult for some due to their busy lives / domestic circumstances ( it winds my missus up no end, when I take my running gear with us, when we go away ! )

I know it’s very hilly where you live, so it wouldn’t even have to be a run, just a good thirty mins or so walking and make it part of your daily routine ( if you can ) and I’ll guarantee that your anxiety will start to dampen down.

Ale is a real kicker for turbo charging anxiety too - hang anxiety / the fear.
Click to expand...
Yep agree, I'm in a gym and nearly completed couch to 5k. As I said knocked ale on the head a long time ago. Fresh air, exercise and diet all help, but when I'm in an anxious mood it still comes back unfortunately, just something I'm stuck with now I suppose.
 
hallamblue said:
Yep agree, I'm in a gym and nearly completed couch to 5k. As I said knocked ale on the head a long time ago. Fresh air, exercise and diet all help, but when I'm in an anxious mood it still comes back unfortunately, just something I'm stuck with now I suppose.
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Keep going with the exercise and maybe set little goals for yourself - I’ve done the couch to 5K, let’s do a park run. I’ve done a park run, let’s do a 10K ?

It’ll give yourself something good to worry about, rather than all the day to day crap that kicks anxiety off.

I’ve had it now for the best part of twenty years and it’s all about managing and finding what works best for you.

It can take a while, but keep going mate, as it will get better 👍
 

Also recommend trying to get in touch with:

1. https://www.cruse.org.uk/
2. https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org/i-have-lost-a/partner/

It may feel like you’re alone but I promise there is a lot of really good support available, I know it won’t feel like you want to speak about it or have the time, but left untreated it’s really important to speak to someone when you feel ready, I promise you’re not alone. I hope you’re able to to manage over the next few weeks, please pop on here and let us know, loads of us will be thinking about you.

Please take care of yourself.
 

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