Hi all, dunno why I'm really writing this but I just need to speak but I can't speak to those close to me.
Found out on Monday that my 18 year old sister has to go for a biopsy as the doctor is almost certain she has cancer in her lymph nodes.
She's my best friend. I'm 34 but we always have each others back. The thought of her having cancer is destroying me.
I've had quite bad mental health problems in the past and depression has took me to some dark places. I really don't want to go back there but I honestly think if her biopsy confirms it then I'm going to end up in the condition I was 10 years ago.
At one point I was suicidal, didn't want to work, drank, got in 25k of debt, depression really took control. But I have built myself up, got a stable relationship, worked my way up to become a manager in my job and I am on the verge of buying my first house. Really turned my life around.
But since I found out she very likely has cancer on Monday my dark thoughts have been coming back.
Tonight all my emotion is coming out.
I know the biopsy might come back all clear, but the thought of it not is really killing me.
I haven't put this message up for sympathy, I just felt I needed to get it off my chest and to my family, I remain strong...to this forum, I am a mess.
To the best forum in the world....thankyou all for listening.
