Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[kithnou]

Hello friends,

Me again here.

Been feeling down quite a lot again lately and just came around to posting this here as a form of venting, I guess. I just don't feel like a lot of things in my life are meaningful and the only two that make me truly happy are computer games and lifting weights (the second just makes me feel accomplished, knowing that I can bench those 60kg 10 times for the first time in 2 years, today)... everywhere else I look - I just feel bad for a lot of my choices and things I've done... again. Worthlessness kicking in big time and I feel like I just need a drink or 12 to get looser... Sadly I know that's not even remotely good and I can't even bring myself to do it, as I know it's not the answer to my woes. I also might've re-started smoking a cigarette every so often, including literally right now.

It's half triggered by me, and half by the fact that all my friends are with that someone special or have found a "calling" so to say and seem really happy doing things (and some even have kids now ffs! I'm 22 bloody years old!) with/for that, travelling etc, whereas I can barely afford to go anywhere, but I'm even hiding it from my dad as he thinks I've made more than I have.

Again, hope everyone is feeling better than I am. And sorry for the mini-rant.

-V

Hey mate.

How about setting little goals each day, focussing on yourself and not comparing yourself to others.
Where you are at the moment as a 22 year old, and where your friends are, is irrelevant. You have hopefully 70 years left in your life my man. Don't worry about everyone else.
The drinking and smoking you should have as a goal to move on from. Get out more and exercise, go for a walk, meet new people etc.
You are still studying right? Very normal to have feelings of uncertainty during that period in your life. Doesn't mean you are worthless.
Cut yourself some slack here.

 

[DualityNSNO]

Hey mate.

How about setting little goals each day, focussing on yourself and not comparing yourself to others.
Where you are at the moment as a 22 year old, and where your friends are, is irrelevant. You have hopefully 70 years left in your life my man. Don't worry about everyone else.
The drinking and smoking you should have as a goal to move on from. Get out more and exercise, go for a walk, meet new people etc.
You are still studying right? Very normal to have feelings of uncertainty during that period in your life. Doesn't mean you are worthless.
Cut yourself some slack here.

I'm not actively studying - I was in academic suspension for a year, and will be again now by choice, or I even might not be in uni come September if things don't go my way, and they have a knack for not going my way.

I do try to socialise a bit more, but all the people I re-meet are either in the above-mentioned situation or just keep reminding me how I've got nothing figured out for myself.

For now the goals I've set for myself are to get bigger every day (even if it's the tiniest bit) and "fix" my body before I fix my mind. Also fix my guitar in the process somehow and look into the possibility of taking it to Glasgow with me when I go back.

I've also cut out nearly any alcohol except for the occasional beer (or a bit of whisky) with or after food, which isn't all that bad. I used to have a serious drinking problem a long time ago, over which I now at least I have control. Cigarettes I can't actually afford in the UK so I have to quit cold turkey anyway when I go back.

It's not the uncertainty making me feel worthless, it's feeling worthless that makes me feel like that (I know it sounds stupid, but it's how I feel) and I can't even feel good for things when people tell me they're done well or that they should be harder than I've made it through them. One of those feelings, I guess...

 

[kithnou]

It's not the uncertainty making me feel worthless, it's feeling worthless that makes me feel like that (I know it sounds stupid, but it's how I feel) and I can't even feel good for things when people tell me they're done well or that they should be harder than I've made it through them. One of those feelings, I guess...

As mentioned many times in here mate, are you speaking with/to anyone at the moment about these thoughts?

 

[DualityNSNO]

As mentioned many times in here mate, are you speaking with/to anyone at the moment about these thoughts?

I've been through the whole routine, yes. I've been to mindfulness again, but I don't find it as helpful any more...

 

[Kurt.]

Hello friends,

Me again here.

Been feeling down quite a lot again lately and just came around to posting this here as a form of venting, I guess. I just don't feel like a lot of things in my life are meaningful and the only two that make me truly happy are computer games and lifting weights (the second just makes me feel accomplished, knowing that I can bench those 60kg 10 times for the first time in 2 years, today)... everywhere else I look - I just feel bad for a lot of my choices and things I've done... again. Worthlessness kicking in big time and I feel like I just need a drink or 12 to get looser... Sadly I know that's not even remotely good and I can't even bring myself to do it, as I know it's not the answer to my woes. I also might've re-started smoking a cigarette every so often, including literally right now.

It's half triggered by me, and half by the fact that all my friends are with that someone special or have found a "calling" so to say and seem really happy doing things (and some even have kids now ffs! I'm 22 bloody years old!) with/for that, travelling etc, whereas I can barely afford to go anywhere, but I'm even hiding it from my dad as he thinks I've made more than I have.

Again, hope everyone is feeling better than I am. And sorry for the mini-rant.

-V

Lad.... talk to me... you're able to do that free from here if you like....... for what it's worth... I think you're ace xx

 

[kithnou]

I've been through the whole routine, yes. I've been to mindfulness again, but I don't find it as helpful any more...

try getting some sleep mate..I am sure some of the lads in the UK will be in here at a decent hour and give you some places that may be better for you

 

[DualityNSNO]

Lad.... talk to me... you're able to do that free from here if you like....... for what it's worth... I think you're ace xx

You should check your facebook more often ffs.

try getting some sleep mate..I am sure some of the lads in the UK will be in here at a decent hour and give you some places that may be better for you

I know mate, I'm off in a bit.

 

[LinekersLegs]

I'm not actively studying - I was in academic suspension for a year, and will be again now by choice, or I even might not be in uni come September if things don't go my way, and they have a knack for not going my way.

I do try to socialise a bit more, but all the people I re-meet are either in the above-mentioned situation or just keep reminding me how I've got nothing figured out for myself.

For now the goals I've set for myself are to get bigger every day (even if it's the tiniest bit) and "fix" my body before I fix my mind. Also fix my guitar in the process somehow and look into the possibility of taking it to Glasgow with me when I go back.

I've also cut out nearly any alcohol except for the occasional beer (or a bit of whisky) with or after food, which isn't all that bad. I used to have a serious drinking problem a long time ago, over which I now at least I have control. Cigarettes I can't actually afford in the UK so I have to quit cold turkey anyway when I go back.

It's not the uncertainty making me feel worthless, it's feeling worthless that makes me feel like that (I know it sounds stupid, but it's how I feel) and I can't even feel good for things when people tell me they're done well or that they should be harder than I've made it through them. One of those feelings, I guess...

As @kithnou says, think you need to cut yourself some slack - those are serious issues and no small feat to get under control.

Very few people have their lives all figured out at your age, despite outward appearances, and the rare few that do can get so complacent about it that they royally screw up later down the line

You are doing positive things in setting goals and trying to socialise more - is there a way of meeting new people you can find through the two hobbies you are currently enjoying?

 

[kithnou]

As @kithnou says, think you need to cut yourself some slack - those are serious issues and no small feat to get under control.

Very few people have their lives all figured out at your age, despite outward appearances, and the rare few that do can get so complacent about it that they royally screw up later down the line

You are doing positive things in setting goals and trying to socialise more - is there a way of meeting new people you can find through the two hobbies you are currently enjoying?

Well said @LinekersLegs.
Heck, I am still figuring out my "Liverpool" now..it is a lifelong process. But don't lose sight of the beautiful little things in your daily life @DualityNSNO worrying about what others do or think.

 

[BiggyRat]

Been feeling down quite a lot again lately and just came around to posting this here as a form of venting, I guess. I just don't feel like a lot of things in my life are meaningful and the only two that make me truly happy are computer games and lifting weights

How often do you play the games? Which games are you playing?

Now, don't get me wrong, I love playing games on the PC but I am so glad that they're as big as they are now & not when I was your age...(you young whipper snapper you!) ;o)

You see, I find them a distracting waste of time, but fun nonetheless. I play every night but...I set limits. I play when everyone else has gone to bed as I don't want to be rude when there's 'family' time available. I also set these limits as a form of 'addiction' avoidance. I maintain an old PC long past its use by date in order to stop myself from going out & buying the latest & greatest as soon as they're released.

Of course, this is just me. These limits I impose on myself are purely for me. I know that if I was around your age now, I'd probably have difficulty getting away from them. I know that my Nephew is in that boat. He can't help himself & he's very lucky to still be in a relationship.

I appreciate that I've drawn an awfully long bow from your simple statement above and this may not even be a problem for you, however, there may be others who are in this situation & it's always a good idea to set boundaries for yourself.

As Oscar Wilde once said; "Everything in moderation, including moderation"

 

[DualityNSNO]

How often do you play the games? Which games are you playing?

Now, don't get me wrong, I love playing games on the PC but I am so glad that they're as big as they are now & not when I was your age...(you young whipper snapper you!) ;o)

You see, I find them a distracting waste of time, but fun nonetheless. I play every night but...I set limits. I play when everyone else has gone to bed as I don't want to be rude when there's 'family' time available. I also set these limits as a form of 'addiction' avoidance. I maintain an old PC long past its use by date in order to stop myself from going out & buying the latest & greatest as soon as they're released.

Of course, this is just me. These limits I impose on myself are purely for me. I know that if I was around your age now, I'd probably have difficulty getting away from them. I know that my Nephew is in that boat. He can't help himself & he's very lucky to still be in a relationship.

I appreciate that I've drawn an awfully long bow from your simple statement above and this may not even be a problem for you, however, there may be others who are in this situation & it's always a good idea to set boundaries for yourself.

As Oscar Wilde once said; "Everything in moderation, including moderation"

I play CS:GO (Counter-Strike: Global Offensive; biggest PC FPS around at the moment), but the thing is it's more a full-time hobby at this point as I feel I actually have a chance of going "pro" (which is possible right now, contracts and all) as I am really good at the game, have my own team, etc. I still find time for other things and it obviously doesn't take 100% of my free time, but I take it very seriously, while still enjoying it... pretty much like football, but I know I can't really be anything successful there at this point lol

 

[BiggyRat]

I play CS:GO (Counter-Strike: Global Offensive; biggest PC FPS around at the moment), but the thing is it's more a full-time hobby at this point as I feel I actually have a chance of going "pro" (which is possible right now, contracts and all) as I am really good at the game, have my own team, etc. I still find time for other things and it obviously doesn't take 100% of my free time, but I take it very seriously, while still enjoying it... pretty much like football, but I know I can't really be anything successful there at this point lol

Ha! Good for you! I guess you can disregard all of the above then! lollollol

 

[FTY]

Not sure if this is the right thread for this.

Got the clap.

I know it's funny and that but it's actually proper depressing as noones gonna look at me the same way now and my social life will basically go down the drain.

 

[COYBL25]

Not sure if this is the right thread for this.

Got the clap.

I know it's funny and that but it's actually proper depressing as noones gonna look at me the same way now and my social life will basically go down the drain.

Easily to treat mate, go to the local STD clinic or whatever they are called now. Register in a blag name ( they're computer ain't linked to the NHS one ). They'll sort it within a month. No one needs to know unless you have a regular partner in which case you are going to have to bite the bullet and come clean for their sake.

 

[Bungle]

Easily to treat mate, go to the local STD clinic or whatever they are called now. Register in a blag name ( they're computer ain't linked to the NHS one ). They'll sort it within a month. No one needs to know unless you have a regular partner in which case you are going to have to bite the bullet and come clean for their sake.

Exactly this mate, the sooner the better as well. The longer you leave it the bigger issue it'll become in your head, when it really doesn't need to be much of an issue at all, clinic, antibiotics, job done.

Oh and not to sound patronising but whack a condom on, will save you all sorts of aggro in the future. They aren't cheap so feel free to experiment with a Tescos bag for life if you see fit.