I've been dealing with general anxiety/mild to moderate depression for the last 4 or so years. I had a bout of panic attacks around 2011. This was a very difficult time in my life. The panic attacks and general anxiety were quite strong and debilitating. I wasn't being social with friends. I was struggling to find a job, living at home with my parents after graduating. It was a rough time.
I tried various SSRIs (Prozac, Paxil, Lexapro for 4-6 months each) and didn't feel like they were helping. They made me feel just flat. Emotionless. So researching other methods I discovered Mindfulness Meditation which was a godsend for the panic attacks. I have been practicing mindfulness fairly regularly since. So I have made a lot of progress in the anxiety department. It's at a point where it isn't debilitating and doesn't prevent me from doing the things I want to do in life. That said, I still deal with a chronic general anxiety. I would describe it as a feeling of being tense or on edge at all times. Compared to the panic attacks and debilitating level of anxiety I was previously dealing with it is quite manageable. At the same time, it still sucks and is a drain on my general wellness/happiness. It is very exhausting being somewhat on edge most of the day. The anxiety manifests in bothersome physical symptoms. The main one being tension/pressure/tight band feeling around my head that is chronic and goes in waves of intensity throughout the day.
As for the depression, I rarely have feelings of hopelessness or despair. But I also rarely have feelings of joy and happiness. If I do they are rare and somewhat fleeting. The simple things in life that should bring comfort and a general feeling of wellbeing just isn't there.
An example... after you had a long day at work but you were really productive and you get home and relax on the couch and just remembered you have a really awesome show on DVR you are excited to watch...ya that doesn't really bring me any excitement at this point. I don't look forward to things as much. Everything just feels kind of MEH.
It is very frustrating because I feel like I've made a lot of positive life changes. I stopped drinking 4 months ago (used to drink heavily on weekends, never drank alone but definitely had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol). I am in the best physical shape of my life. I meditate often. I eat healthy. My quality of sleep isn't perfect but has been steadily improving.
I've tried seeing therapists in the past but never found one I really connected with and build a good rapport with. I would go to 3-4 sessions and reach a point where I felt like they were just asking the same general questions and they weren't remembering what I talked about in previous sessions. I do think some quality Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in conjunction with my healthy lifestyle changes would do me wonders. It has been a struggle to find the right therapist though and the [Poor language removed] is expensive in the States.
Ya that's all I got for now. If anybody has dealt with the same physical symptoms (pressure/tightness in head) and found ways to decrease those symptoms would love to hear from ya! Or any other thoughts on what might be effective treatment/plan of action for my situation.
Thanks for reading.
I'll try and give it a go mate. Good of you to post btw; always helps.
I've experienced similar things. You can find my post(s) somewhere in this topic (be warned quite lengthy though).
I sort of had/have pressure on my throat. It's like I'm being force gripped from time to time; and Darth Vader sadly isn't present. This leads to me vomiting; annoying but it's manageable.
For me this also all started after a real shitty period in my life. What helped for me are the basic things and a good therapist. Loads of techniques and such to alleviate the symptoms. Tbh I think what helps the most is talking about it; the therapist also uses psychoanalysis (amongst other techniques). I don't really buy into that sort of thing, but sometimes it offers a different perspective you know. I don't believe in what he says; but I appreciate the perspective which sometimes leads to me changing my thinking patterns.
What plays a role in my situation is that I don't deal well with negative emotions. Or emotions in general really; sometimes it takes a while to know what's bothering me. I really dislike complaining; unfortunately in the process I've managed to somewhat lose the ability to get angry/find out what's bothering me. I mean on an emotional level; if somebody behaves like a jerk or such I will make my feelings known. I also find ways to avoid my emotions; but at some point in time that stopped working. I escaped in books, videogames ... You can't overdo escaping; it tends to bite you in the ass.
Hmm anxiety attacks. Been there done that. Mine are vomiting with derealization. What helped me was saying [Poor language removed] this I'm going to have one and I can't be bothered. Just let anxiety attacks flow over you is quite effective for me. I still vomit from time to time. I just say that I have a hernia in my oesophagus. That way nobody knows.
Feeling of being on edge. Yes, in my experience it's because you're actively over thinking stuff instead of just doing things. It lessens if you do easy things like driving your car and such (unless you get them by driving your car; in that case do something else, like woodcarving or such). What helps me is minimizing stress. It worsens in stressful periods of your life; like when you change jobs or such. Once you've settled in a rut (for a lack of a better word) it becomes better. What also works wonders for me is a bath with lavender oil (more ideas see previous posts please
).
I think it also revolves a bit around the question of acceptance. Being able to accept a given situation and deal with it. Working on this; maybe this will solve it completely. Purpose in life. Well to me the most obvious purpose of humans is the same: everybody is dying, but is trying to do so in the most pleasant conditions. Maximize pleasure, minimize displeasure. This all in relation with your environment.
Also recognize the blandness. I think you're expecting quite a lot there. For me the most fun situations are the situations where I don't actively think. I just do stuff. I really dislike the person who said cogito ergo sum. Idiot. It's not like I get lots of satisfaction from doing daily stuff; but I'm a stoic. I like stuff like sex and such when done right you don't think. Or going to the Japanese and unexpectedly getting invited into some weird Japanese drinking game with flying eggs in your mouth. Because I didn't have big expectations of the fun level; I had a blast. I go home very tired; for me this represents happiness somewhat. Or at the times when I really can't find any enjoyment myself; but I carry on regardless I try helping other people. I am not having fun on an emotional level; but at a rational level I'm happy that I made somebody else happy. I tried distributing food to old people once; was fun. I drove a car and delivered their meals. Admittedly I failed on one account; it said on the list that I should go in through the garage since the lady wasn't very mobile anymore. I forgot. I ringed her bell and 5 minutes later a breathless old lady opened the door and asked me if I could please help her get back to her spot. She was a good sport about it though.
With regard to your show. Think positive; you'll find enjoyment in watching it. So your reward is you who watches the show and has a meaningful way to spend your time. Avoid thinking if thoughts. Also I wouldn't focus too much on other people. I'm sure you can think of loads of other people who are constantly happy with everything they do. Good for them their emotional reward system works wonders. Everything is spectacular, phenomenal and such; cf. Roberto Martinez. On the other hand; you can find more enjoyment in the rare feelings of joy you have.
Regarding the sudden unset of your symptoms. Started after a turbulent period. I had the same experience. The first thing I asked myself was does this mean something significant ? Two hypotheses: a) Yes the answer lies in the situation and the possible context that that created. If so try to remove the context or accept it (for instance you can't bring back dead people; unless you're a necromancer, in this case I think feelings of blandness are quite common). It isn't easy but hey everybody likes theoretical solutions. b) The situation just exposed a certain facet of my character that I just wasn't aware off. Learn to deal with it. One thing that sort of calms me is the fact that there was a huge period in my life when I didn't have these discomforts. It should be able to return to that period somewhat. I'll manage.
Also pat yourself on the back. Congratulations with your life improvements: stopped drinking, fitness, healthy lifestyle, good sleeping... You're doing good it will get better. This will pay off dividends.
Regarding the medication. I don't use it. I try other stuff. Most importantly therapist. Which brings me to: please go and find a competent therapist. The idiot who didn't listen to you angers me. I have a good one but I live in Belgium. So I reckon you wouldn't want my recommendation. A shame that they are expensive where you live, around here depending on your financial situation. Free or maximum 20 (or 50) euro/session.
Which leads me to my conclusion. It will get better. Think positive. Also you're not alone, loads of people like you (and me).
Thank you for your post. I can identity with much of what you wrote. I suffer from Generalised Anxiety Disorder, amongst other mental health conditions, which was only diagnosed 3 years ago, but I feel I must have had this for many years, at least since my mid-teens, and that's long enough.
I don't especially have any advice for you or others, we each of us have to do what we can. Sometimes it's just a case of getting through the day. One thing I would say is that I find as I get older, (I'm in my mid 40s), I find that I am more forgiving of myself and others, and by extension, less demanding. I find that has helped, but it's more of an attitude than an approach. I also think that an acceptance that anxiety will always be a part of my life to a greater or lesser degree, means I can give myself permission to have some days which are worse than others, and some great days too.
This is a wonderful thread, and my first contribution to it. Even with the anonymity of an Internet forum, I still find I impose a self-inflicted stigma in admitting I have problems with anxiety, and at times, paranoia.
With as much honesty and genuineness I can muster, I salute each and every one of you, who has contributed advice, understanding, kindness, empathy, and so many other great things here. Even as a lurker I found courage and inspiration from you. We all have our own largely private battles to face day in day out, but please never underestimate the power of a kind word or deed in your daily lives. We are so fortunate in this community to have kindness and humanity in abundance. I hope to be able to share more of my experiences and thoughts on anxiety as time goes by.
Good post mate ! Especially your last paragraph, so true.
