Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Blue Cheese]

Feeling awful recently. Probably the past few weeks/month. I just feel numb to a lot now... Resigning myself to just feeling disappointment forever. Falling out with family and isolating myself from them. I feel lonely but at the same time, I want to push people away. I'm fed up of talking about stuff to people and not getting anything helpful back and the feeling that people just think I am in a mood for a few days, rather than recognising this is going on constantly. Also makes me feel selfish just writing that... like anyone has the time to give a sh** anyway.. My expectations are too high. I can't help that though... Yet it just leads to constant disappointment. I literally feel numb to the world and like I am just sitting here for the rest of my life waiting to die. I wouldn't kill myself but I don't half wish I wasn't here. I just can't be arsed with anything anymore. And therapy... I've done it before... I don't feel like I want to be bothered with that. I know I'm not helping myself.

Meant to be going to Brussels for the weekend with family this weekend... I am looking to cancel going and leaving them to it. They say they want me to go but I feel like family situations at the moment just make me want to hide. Everyone is so content and getting on with their lives in their couples or little families and planning for the future and there's me on my own, looking and feeling miserable. I've also decided I don't want to go to any family gatherings over Christmas. I just can't cope with it. I obviously want my family to be happy... I just don't want to see it which sounds awful. Selfishly though, it makes me feel like sh** because I am so miserable. I can't feel joy from anyone else's happiness at the moment. I think it's best if i isolate myself as I will ruin family get togethers etc. I did the other day.

Feeling alone but pushing everyone away. Depression at its finest I think.

I'm not the right person to offer advice really as I've had depression for a long time without ever shifting it fully; What I will say though is try and avoid shutting yourself away, easier said than done but try and keep your life as normal as you can handle.

It's hard, I have anxiety currently as well as depression but I refuse to shut myself away. Being out in public is horrible but I do it, even just going to the shops. Just show your face at your families places. I'm not the best to ask but honestly don't shut yourself away, it will make things much worse.

If you are feeling lonely, you can always talk in here, I find the anonymity helps somewhat and putting my feelings down on paper helps, why I don't know but it does.

 

[COYBL25]

Hi guys I've recently been signed off for a month for depression and anxiety. I think it's my work place that has sparked this off and I've been feeling much improved. However I'm absolutely dreading going back it's massively put me back as I'm getting anxious at night and it's starting again. Work has caused this and i'm dreading the GP telling me they won't sign me off. I declined medication last time because I don't really want it but the anxiety has kicked in again. Can anyone help me? Can I just go in and say I'm anxious still and can't face going back? I think I need a couple more months. Do I need to explain what work have done? There are underlying historic issues that have recently surfaced and I can't face going back especially if it puts me back where I was a few weeks ago. Any advice what I should tell my GP? Or should I just tell her this? Sadly i can't see the same GP I did last time.

@anjelikaferrett can you help with your knowledge of HR ?.

Great advice there from @jaycee.

I faced a similar problem with work related anxiety. My GP was brilliant and effectively signed me off for as long as it took me to get better ( I never went back ).

The anxiety that you're suffering is an illness / injury the same as any other. Your GP should treat as such.

Let us know how you get on mate x

 

[COYBL25]

Feeling awful recently. Probably the past few weeks/month. I just feel numb to a lot now... Resigning myself to just feeling disappointment forever. Falling out with family and isolating myself from them. I feel lonely but at the same time, I want to push people away. I'm fed up of talking about stuff to people and not getting anything helpful back and the feeling that people just think I am in a mood for a few days, rather than recognising this is going on constantly. Also makes me feel selfish just writing that... like anyone has the time to give a sh** anyway.. My expectations are too high. I can't help that though... Yet it just leads to constant disappointment. I literally feel numb to the world and like I am just sitting here for the rest of my life waiting to die. I wouldn't kill myself but I don't half wish I wasn't here. I just can't be arsed with anything anymore. And therapy... I've done it before... I don't feel like I want to be bothered with that. I know I'm not helping myself.

Meant to be going to Brussels for the weekend with family this weekend... I am looking to cancel going and leaving them to it. They say they want me to go but I feel like family situations at the moment just make me want to hide. Everyone is so content and getting on with their lives in their couples or little families and planning for the future and there's me on my own, looking and feeling miserable. I've also decided I don't want to go to any family gatherings over Christmas. I just can't cope with it. I obviously want my family to be happy... I just don't want to see it which sounds awful. Selfishly though, it makes me feel like sh** because I am so miserable. I can't feel joy from anyone else's happiness at the moment. I think it's best if i isolate myself as I will ruin family get togethers etc. I did the other day.

Feeling alone but pushing everyone away. Depression at its finest I think.

This may be a bit leftfield, but have you considered getting a dog, if you haven't got one already ?.
They are great for lifting the spirits during the darkest of days, their love for you is unconditional and they are company too.

One of the biggest things is that they need walking, which means even if you don't want to, you have to leave the house and engage with the rest of the world once a day.

 

[Blue Cheese]

This may be a bit leftfield, but have you considered getting a dog, if you haven't got one already ?.
They are great for lifting the spirits during the darkest of days, their love for you is unconditional and they are company too.

One of the biggest things is that they need walking, which means even if you don't want to, you have to leave the house and engage with the rest of the world once a day.

I can concur. I don't have a dog but the step daughter does who doesn't live with us. She visits say every 3 months for a week and she always brings the dog; my mood on these weeks is noticeably higher, my therapist will back me up because even when not walking them they are awesome company just to be around.

I'm battling the missus to let me get a dog, I want one anyway but it would really help me with my depression.

 

[jaycee]

Feeling awful recently. Probably the past few weeks/month. I just feel numb to a lot now... Resigning myself to just feeling disappointment forever. Falling out with family and isolating myself from them. I feel lonely but at the same time, I want to push people away. I'm fed up of talking about stuff to people and not getting anything helpful back and the feeling that people just think I am in a mood for a few days, rather than recognising this is going on constantly. Also makes me feel selfish just writing that... like anyone has the time to give a sh** anyway.. My expectations are too high. I can't help that though... Yet it just leads to constant disappointment. I literally feel numb to the world and like I am just sitting here for the rest of my life waiting to die. I wouldn't kill myself but I don't half wish I wasn't here. I just can't be arsed with anything anymore. And therapy... I've done it before... I don't feel like I want to be bothered with that. I know I'm not helping myself.

Meant to be going to Brussels for the weekend with family this weekend... I am looking to cancel going and leaving them to it. They say they want me to go but I feel like family situations at the moment just make me want to hide. Everyone is so content and getting on with their lives in their couples or little families and planning for the future and there's me on my own, looking and feeling miserable. I've also decided I don't want to go to any family gatherings over Christmas. I just can't cope with it. I obviously want my family to be happy... I just don't want to see it which sounds awful. Selfishly though, it makes me feel like sh** because I am so miserable. I can't feel joy from anyone else's happiness at the moment. I think it's best if i isolate myself as I will ruin family get togethers etc. I did the other day.

Feeling alone but pushing everyone away. Depression at its finest I think.

Depression is a terrible thing,because there is no physical ailment a lot of people wont recognise it,unless you have been in those dark places its difficult to understand how debilitating it can be but there is help,people on here have an idea how you feel and anyone of us will happily listen to what you have to say,but seek help from your GP ask for counselling it really can be a great help

 

[witchdoc187]

@anjelikaferrett can you help with your knowledge of HR ?.

Great advice there from @jaycee.

I faced a similar problem with work related anxiety. My GP was brilliant and effectively signed me off for as long as it took me to get better ( I never went back ).

The anxiety that you're suffering is an illness / injury the same as any other. Your GP should treat as such.

Let us know how you get on mate x

I don't want to go back. Seeing GP Tuesday. Cheers mate

 

[COYBL25]

I don't want to go back. Seeing GP Tuesday. Cheers mate

If it's your job that's causing your illness mate, you may have to consider a career change ?

 

[Blue Cheese]

I don't want to go back. Seeing GP Tuesday. Cheers mate

Going through the same problem, work is an issue and part of the cause in the first place this time. I'm back on the sick as of last week, only went back for 4weeks.

I'm struggling because my depression wants me to hand in my resignation, part of me knows I would regret it in the future and I have to believe that so I'm hanging in there and will go back in the new year and try again.

 

[granter79]

Unfortunately I have relapsed. Can't face work or mixing with people. So have ditched my Christmas job with Royal Mail. It is 11 months today I lost my mum. TBH I thought I would be much much better and for a time I was.
But now things seem so dark. I know I can beat this and hopefully this is a blip. I have posted the reasons for this in this thread , so don't want to bore people again.
But I need a positive focal point and coming upto Christmas things could go either way. Still doing my counselling , but in the real world it doesn't seem to help.

Ah well....there are people a lot worse than me....KEEP STRONG AND KEEP COMMUNICATING

Tough time of year for a lot of people.
I have my dads 8th year anniversary coining up next week. Throw into the mix my mam passing away 20th Nov just gone so at the moment just in survival mode but managing thanks to my wife and 2 young girls. I know all this will probably change in the next week or 2 so very aware of it .
I know with my dad it took what felt like forever to start coming to terms with it. Not gonna use the term time is a great healer as probably sick of hearing it. . Everyone is different when it comes to these things. Fact you are talking about it in here is positive.
Need to do whats right for you at the moment which worked for me back then. Hopefully you can get over this blip mate.[/QUOTE]

 

[witchdoc187]

If it's your job that's causing your illness mate, you may have to consider a career change ?

Exactly what I'm considering mate. Easier said than done when you're supporting a family but would defo help considerably.

 

[witchdoc187]

Going through the same problem, work is an issue and part of the cause in the first place this time. I'm back on the sick as of last week, only went back for 4weeks.

I'm struggling because my depression wants me to hand in my resignation, part of me knows I would regret it in the future and I have to believe that so I'm hanging in there and will go back in the new year and try again.

Catch 22 isn't it? How long you been off for mate?

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Hi guys I've recently been signed off for a month for depression and anxiety. I think it's my work place that has sparked this off and I've been feeling much improved. However I'm absolutely dreading going back it's massively put me back as I'm getting anxious at night and it's starting again. Work has caused this and i'm dreading the GP telling me they won't sign me off. I declined medication last time because I don't really want it but the anxiety has kicked in again. Can anyone help me? Can I just go in and say I'm anxious still and can't face going back? I think I need a couple more months. Do I need to explain what work have done? There are underlying historic issues that have recently surfaced and I can't face going back especially if it puts me back where I was a few weeks ago. Any advice what I should tell my GP? Or should I just tell her this? Sadly i can't see the same GP I did last time.

Have you told your work that it is the cause of your anxiety. You really need to report it. Work related stress should be classed as an industrial injury like anything else that happens in the work place.. Also you should not be penalised for being off sick through a work based illness/accident. They will probably send you for an Occupational Health referral. If they do be as honest as you can with the person you see. Describe yourself as you are on your worst day ever. Don't go all British and say "Not too bad thanks"! Same goes for your GP. Be brutally honest andupfront. Get your GP to put work based stress/anxiety on your sick note. These days sick notes are actually called fit notes. Your GP can say you are fit for work but only if the employer puts certain things in place to make it easier for you. Could be anything from a different computer mouse to a change in your working patterns.

PM me if you want to talk offline.

 

[Blue Cheese]

Catch 22 isn't it? How long you been off for mate?

Was off for 4 months, went back, did 4 weeks back and I'm on the sick again as of last week.

 

[Elong]

I burst into tears in the middle of town today, my missus took my hand to take me home, I have suffered depression for years, anxiety is new to me and I crumbled, I never went home though, I stuck it out but wonder why.

Been there mate. Am feeling like that at the moment too. It comes and goes, the black dog never leaves. It's important to value your loved ones at your side. I'm really starting to understand how important and wonderful my partner is when I'm sick, she's my rock.

I've found that if I'm feeling an attack coming on in a public place, I quickly find somewhere to sit down, just off the beaten track, try to slow my breathing, and take in all the sights around me. Perhaps there's some buildings or scenery of note to look at. And take all the time you need.

 

[Elong]

I tried going without citalopram the last few months. Probably came off them a little too fast but didn't have any effects. Started getting really ill again, and have started taking them again this week. Forgotten how bloody crap the side effects are for the first little while! Reading through here from others who are starting on them it sounds really familiar so that's good, just gonna push through it. The insomnia at night and sleepiness in the day is the worst, I love my sleep!