Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[witchdoc187]

This may be a bit leftfield, but have you considered getting a dog, if you haven't got one already ?.
They are great for lifting the spirits during the darkest of days, their love for you is unconditional and they are company too.

One of the biggest things is that they need walking, which means even if you don't want to, you have to leave the house and engage with the rest of the world once a day.

This sounds like a great idea

 

[witchdoc187]

Have you told your work that it is the cause of your anxiety. You really need to report it. Work related stress should be classed as an industrial injury like anything else that happens in the work place.. Also you should not be penalised for being off sick through a work based illness/accident. They will probably send you for an Occupational Health referral. If they do be as honest as you can with the person you see. Describe yourself as you are on your worst day ever. Don't go all British and say "Not too bad thanks"! Same goes for your GP. Be brutally honest andupfront. Get your GP to put work based stress/anxiety on your sick note. These days sick notes are actually called fit notes. Your GP can say you are fit for work but only if the employer puts certain things in place to make it easier for you. Could be anything from a different computer mouse to a change in your working patterns.

PM me if you want to talk offline.

Thanks for your time. The problem is I don't want it to turn into a greivance. Ultimately I want to leave there after ten years they,'ve destroyed me but I need time to sort my life out. I would rather be signed off for a few months whilst I sort myself out than be gently eased back into the place. It's horrific and I've finished there I can't go back. There are some other historical issues that have come up at the same time which has just compounded it. But my number 1 priority is my mentAl health and my family. I'm done with that place can u ask for redundancy??

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Thanks for your time. The problem is I don't want it to turn into a greivance. Ultimately I want to leave there after ten years they,'ve destroyed me but I need time to sort my life out. I would rather be signed off for a few months whilst I sort myself out than be gently eased back into the place. It's horrific and I've finished there I can't go back. There are some other historical issues that have come up at the same time which has just compounded it. But my number 1 priority is my mentAl health and my family. I'm done with that place can u ask for redundancy??

You don't need it to be a grievance.Their sickness policy should be separate to the disciplinary policy. Ask to see a copy. Have you thought about medical retirement? Obviously I don't know your age or situation but it might be an option if work is making you so sick that you can't go back.

 

[BiggyRat]

Exactly what I'm considering mate. Easier said than done when you're supporting a family but would defo help considerably.

I've come in a little late to this conversation but this resonated with me.

It's been 16 months since I finally parted ways with the place I worked after 11 years. I'm in the same boat as you, supporting a family, and I can tell you, it is hard...but...I'm happier than I've been for years! My family also notice it & benefit from a happier me. If I added it all up, I'm probably $50,000 worse off annually but who gives a flying F***!

Don't get me wrong, I stress at the money situation but I realised that I was stressing about the money when it was rolling in. I reinvented myself...again...and went from Public Service to flying Drones for Real Estate photography. Relatively crap pay but I'm out & about most days & working to my own schedule. It's not for everyone but I'm sure there's something out there for you.

 

[witchdoc187]

I've come in a little late to this conversation but this resonated with me.

It's been 16 months since I finally parted ways with the place I worked after 11 years. I'm in the same boat as you, supporting a family, and I can tell you, it is hard...but...I'm happier than I've been for years! My family also notice it & benefit from a happier me. If I added it all up, I'm probably $50,000 worse off annually but who gives a flying F***!

Don't get me wrong, I stress at the money situation but I realised that I was stressing about the money when it was rolling in. I reinvented myself...again...and went from Public Service to flying Drones for Real Estate photography. Relatively crap pay but I'm out & about most days & working to my own schedule. It's not for everyone but I'm sure there's something out there for you.

I'm sure there is mate. I'm defo leaving. It's funding the alternative and somewhere to live now as I can't afford London rent on my income alone. It's now about finding the confidence and energy to do something about it

 

[efc_girl]

Thanks to everyone for your constructive replies and advice. I still don't know what to do re Brussels... I still don't want to but I'm aware I'm isolating myself. I'll probably get out and do other things here... I don't really isolate myself here from everyday life. I go to uni, I work as a barmaid, I have friends to do things with mostly on a daily basis... but I'm still unhappy underneath it all, without being able to put my finger on the issue.

Today I am going to see a counsellor at uni... Thought I'd give it a go as it is a free service... the appointment came through sooner than I thought. I don't know what I'm going to say and I feel vulnerable to talking to yet another therapist but hey, I'll give it a go.

A dog... I would love one but since I've moved back home, it's not my house to make the decisions and the answer has been no! Another reason I thought staying here at the weekend would be good... I'll get to be in the house on my own. It's not bad at all living here, but I'm sure you all know what I mean by I'm nearly 28 and being under your parents' roof, no matter how loving they are, can get to you

My family are loving and caring and supportive but don't understand how I feel I don't think... which I understand as a lot of people don't unless they've felt the feelings. I'm not expecting anyone to cure how I feel... just maybe understand a little. When I struggle with my emotions then it's hard for me to put a brave face on it and act normally. I don't think anyone understands that and it's just me being seen as moody etc.

Anyway, best get going to this appointment.

 

[granter79]

Thanks to everyone for your constructive replies and advice. I still don't know what to do re Brussels... I still don't want to but I'm aware I'm isolating myself. I'll probably get out and do other things here... I don't really isolate myself here from everyday life. I go to uni, I work as a barmaid, I have friends to do things with mostly on a daily basis... but I'm still unhappy underneath it all, without being able to put my finger on the issue.

Today I am going to see a counsellor at uni... Thought I'd give it a go as it is a free service... the appointment came through sooner than I thought. I don't know what I'm going to say and I feel vulnerable to talking to yet another therapist but hey, I'll give it a go.

A dog... I would love one but since I've moved back home, it's not my house to make the decisions and the answer has been no! Another reason I thought staying here at the weekend would be good... I'll get to be in the house on my own. It's not bad at all living here, but I'm sure you all know what I mean by I'm nearly 28 and being under your parents' roof, no matter how loving they are, can get to you

My family are loving and caring and supportive but don't understand how I feel I don't think... which I understand as a lot of people don't unless they've felt the feelings. I'm not expecting anyone to cure how I feel... just maybe understand a little. When I struggle with my emotions then it's hard for me to put a brave face on it and act normally. I don't think anyone understands that and it's just me being seen as moody etc.

Anyway, best get going to this appointment.

Very nice to see you seeming abit brighter and more positive. Hopefully the few steps above will be in the right direction. Good luck with it all.

 

[BlueLlama]

Thanks to everyone for your constructive replies and advice. I still don't know what to do re Brussels... I still don't want to but I'm aware I'm isolating myself. I'll probably get out and do other things here... I don't really isolate myself here from everyday life. I go to uni, I work as a barmaid, I have friends to do things with mostly on a daily basis... but I'm still unhappy underneath it all, without being able to put my finger on the issue.

Today I am going to see a counsellor at uni... Thought I'd give it a go as it is a free service... the appointment came through sooner than I thought. I don't know what I'm going to say and I feel vulnerable to talking to yet another therapist but hey, I'll give it a go.

A dog... I would love one but since I've moved back home, it's not my house to make the decisions and the answer has been no! Another reason I thought staying here at the weekend would be good... I'll get to be in the house on my own. It's not bad at all living here, but I'm sure you all know what I mean by I'm nearly 28 and being under your parents' roof, no matter how loving they are, can get to you

My family are loving and caring and supportive but don't understand how I feel I don't think... which I understand as a lot of people don't unless they've felt the feelings. I'm not expecting anyone to cure how I feel... just maybe understand a little. When I struggle with my emotions then it's hard for me to put a brave face on it and act normally. I don't think anyone understands that and it's just me being seen as moody etc.

Anyway, best get going to this appointment.

In many cases a generation thing. Growing up (I'm in my 40s) people were labelled, miserable or lazy with no attempt to work out why they were like that. Understanding mental illness has come on hugely in the last 10 years thankfully but it takes a while for people to catch up. It's great that they are supportive though, good luck.

 

[granter79]

So finally bit the bullet a decided to take some time off work till the new year.
Nearly 3 weeks now since my mam passed and hit a brick wall after been back for the last 2 week's.
Had a full year of looking after her during her treatment while juggling work n my own family.
Good chat with work colleague and my wife today and decided to do what's best for myself for a change.
Went through it 8 years ago when my dad died suddenly and today it was like starting to deal with the grief all over again. Been in survival mode the last while but the anxiety and pressure from work is not helping.
Advice to anyone going through tough times is to do what's right for you on the moment .People will understand and if they don't screw them.

 

[Woolly Blue]

So finally bit the bullet a decided to take some time off work till the new year.
Nearly 3 weeks now since my mam passed and hit a brick wall after been back for the last 2 week's.
Had a full year of looking after her during her treatment while juggling work n my own family.
Good chat with work colleague and my wife today and decided to do what's best for myself for a change.
Went through it 8 years ago when my dad died suddenly and today it was like starting to deal with the grief all over again. Been in survival mode the last while but the anxiety and pressure from work is not helping.
Advice to anyone going through tough times is to do what's right for you on the moment .People will understand and if they don't screw them.

Grief's a bugger, but very natural mate.

I was in bits after my mum died and it took ages to come to terms with it, but I did.

Everyone's different in terms of depth of feeling and timescales to come to terms with it, but, in time, you'll get there.

Plenty of folk aren't that close to their parents so you're suffering a bit now because of the good times you had in the past, which is something to be thankful for

 

[Elong]

Anyone for any tips for citalopram side effects? Been a week and I know it gets better but the anxiety, lack of drive, losing appetite and sleep is killing me.

 

[Tim's tourettes]

Anyone for any tips for citalopram side effects? Been a week and I know it gets better but the anxiety, lack of drive, losing appetite and sleep is killing me.

I am 16 days in mate, about a week without sides, after that my anxiety went through the ceiling and if I woke in the night I couldn't get back to sleep, also not much appetite. Fingers crossed , last few days the anxiety is dropping and I am sleeping better plus I have literally just devoured a portion of salt and pepper ribs plus a large box of chilli chicken udon noodles!!!!! Stick with it mate

 

[COYBL25]

Anyone for any tips for citalopram side effects? Been a week and I know it gets better but the anxiety, lack of drive, losing appetite and sleep is killing me.

It maybe the last thing you feel like doing right now, but I found that excercise helped enormously during the initial stage.It brought the anxiety down, made me hungry and helped me get to sleep, although not stay asleep.

Believe me it was difficult to motivate myself to do it, as I remember my limbs feeling like lead from being so tired, but once I'd done it, I felt so much better.

 

[Elong]

It maybe the last thing you feel like doing right now, but I found that excercise helped enormously during the initial stage.It brought the anxiety down, made me hungry and helped me get to sleep, although not stay asleep.

Believe me it was difficult to motivate myself to do it, as I remember my limbs feeling like lead from being so tired, but once I'd done it, I felt so much better.

Yeah hard to get off the couch and motivated, I remember it being good in the past. Gonna try doing a walk on the running machine tonight before I go to sleep, should help.

 

[Groucho]

Righto, the more people who are open about this the better. This is the message I've spoken about with my fellow mods;

(Those not on Whatsapp: @roydo @The Esk @AndyC )

Hi lads - I've followed my own advice and gone to my GP - they gave me Citalopram and I feel like my old self again.

Just thought I'd let you know. I was struggling a bit I'll be honest.

Basically, everything is sound. I'd never followed my own advice before, but now I have I realise more than ever that it's ace advice.

Dave is back!

I'm a new man. I'm back to my old self. I'm glad I went to my GP and I fully recommend it.