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Well, time to post here again... Even if I feel my problems are a lot less actually problematic than a lot of people's...
After a summer of relative happiness and enjoying myself a tad more than not - I'm back in my little dark place here...
I've found that I am simply not satisfied or made happy by my surroundings, at all - everyone and everything annoys me quite quickly, no longer feel any kind of actual happiness or satisfaction from doing anything, and starting to open my eyes that my relationship is definitely not the right thing for me (I'm active and want to go places, etc, she's the exact opposite... but it was "new" when it started). I also feel extremely alone between a friend and my girlfriend, if that makes sense, and I'd rather spend my days alone in a room, where I would be truly by myself, as this type of loneliness is killing me on the inside.
Even worse, I have resits and nearly no money, which means that after my last exam (Friday) I have to try and find a job, which is fair enough, but I'm starting to feel more and more drained, while seeing less reasons to carry on/power through, by the day. I am literally seeing no sense in doing anything right now (suicidal thoughts are back as well), and even getting out of bed has turned back into being a huge chore.
I know I should talk to people, and I do, but my only "saviour" (as in person who actually feels comforting) is back home, some ~3000km (~1900 miles lol ) away, enjoying life, and I don't really have a group of friends here... and my laptop's broken, so my mates who live in the UK and I have no contact at all right now, for at least another week or two...
I'd snap the hand off someone if they offered me a ticket back right now. I won't be that much happier there, and I'd still have my problems, and would still have to come back, but I was back to being a happy chappy in my familiar surroundings... I feel like there isn't anything tying me down here, except uni, right now. And I can go back and forth for that.
TL;DR - Some lad is unhappy with life and should go back to therapy, and also vented a bit at the end.
Thanks for "listening", lads/lasses. x
And after reading through/rewriting this like 10 times, still feeling like this is nothing compared to what others go through...
After a summer of relative happiness and enjoying myself a tad more than not - I'm back in my little dark place here...
I've found that I am simply not satisfied or made happy by my surroundings, at all - everyone and everything annoys me quite quickly, no longer feel any kind of actual happiness or satisfaction from doing anything, and starting to open my eyes that my relationship is definitely not the right thing for me (I'm active and want to go places, etc, she's the exact opposite... but it was "new" when it started). I also feel extremely alone between a friend and my girlfriend, if that makes sense, and I'd rather spend my days alone in a room, where I would be truly by myself, as this type of loneliness is killing me on the inside.
Even worse, I have resits and nearly no money, which means that after my last exam (Friday) I have to try and find a job, which is fair enough, but I'm starting to feel more and more drained, while seeing less reasons to carry on/power through, by the day. I am literally seeing no sense in doing anything right now (suicidal thoughts are back as well), and even getting out of bed has turned back into being a huge chore.
I know I should talk to people, and I do, but my only "saviour" (as in person who actually feels comforting) is back home, some ~3000km (~1900 miles lol ) away, enjoying life, and I don't really have a group of friends here... and my laptop's broken, so my mates who live in the UK and I have no contact at all right now, for at least another week or two...
I'd snap the hand off someone if they offered me a ticket back right now. I won't be that much happier there, and I'd still have my problems, and would still have to come back, but I was back to being a happy chappy in my familiar surroundings... I feel like there isn't anything tying me down here, except uni, right now. And I can go back and forth for that.
TL;DR - Some lad is unhappy with life and should go back to therapy, and also vented a bit at the end.
Thanks for "listening", lads/lasses. x
And after reading through/rewriting this like 10 times, still feeling like this is nothing compared to what others go through...
There will always be someone who seems to have it harder. That in NO WAY diminishes how you feel or what you are going through.
You are in a tough place, but it can and will get better.
Keep sharing and reaching out. This lovely GOT family is always here to listen.
*hugs*
You are in a tough place, but it can and will get better.
Keep sharing and reaching out. This lovely GOT family is always here to listen.
*hugs*
Jarek Pardej
Player Valuation: £225k
Hi! I'm still new here, and my English isn't very good so I do not understand everything. I'm still trying to get a grip and write something about me and my issues. This is amazing place, and you all are great. In the meantime, I want to share something with you all. maybe you will find something valuable in this for themselves. Trust me this is worth a look.
http://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_solomon_depression_the_secret_we_share
http://www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_on_the_paradox_of_choice
http://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_solomon_depression_the_secret_we_share
http://www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_on_the_paradox_of_choice
Jarek Pardej
Player Valuation: £225k
All 3 links are great, worth to watch, not only youtube.
GraemeS1980
Player Valuation: £20m
Just wanted to drop a thank you to GOT and all the people that make it happen (inc MODs!) Ive had a proper pony day and lets just say wasn't feeling to great. Ive just been in the GOT 'Ale House' and it is impossible not to laugh at some of the stuff in there. I feel great love you GOT and all our Evertonian family!
Just got to read through some of these.
@DualityNSNO @AaronTheBlue Hope you lads are okay. I know it has been said, but it's ludicrous to beat yourselves up even more just because you feel your lives compare favourably to some others. There is absolutely no barrier or security in life that depression can't creep past, and dwelling too much on the misfortunes of others on top of what you're going through will only allow it to fester. Please, keep on updating us here of your progress because people care.
@Sapie88 Was sorry to hear of your troubles. I'm glad everything is looking up!
@DualityNSNO @AaronTheBlue Hope you lads are okay. I know it has been said, but it's ludicrous to beat yourselves up even more just because you feel your lives compare favourably to some others. There is absolutely no barrier or security in life that depression can't creep past, and dwelling too much on the misfortunes of others on top of what you're going through will only allow it to fester. Please, keep on updating us here of your progress because people care.
@Sapie88 Was sorry to hear of your troubles. I'm glad everything is looking up!
Sapie88
Hi @Donald Twain
You're back so everything is fine.
Sunderland afc
Player Valuation: £8m
Was out with work tonight and got talking as you do and don't even remember the conversation but one of the lads said
That is rich coming from the lad who was going to take six months off because he was feeling a bid sad.
Left five minutes later and went home. Don't see why I need to stay out with people like that.
That is rich coming from the lad who was going to take six months off because he was feeling a bid sad.
Left five minutes later and went home. Don't see why I need to stay out with people like that.
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Terribly poor when people think depression is simply 'feeling a bit sad'.
Elong
The fire rises
Thank God you're here.
wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
it doesn't. that's what got me put into a home a few years ago. you listen too intently to the words or the song reminds you of things gone bye. intensifies your depression sometimes.