Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[EFCPaul]

Well done mate - been following your posts. Now you have her number you can build up a good friendship texting etc - be honest, not too intense and make her laugh and you should be well in!

Cheers mate. I've already made her laugh every time I've spoke to her, and not because I went out of my way to make a concerted effort I was just being myself, with a lot of other people in the place they won't even acknowledge me as they go past whereas she always makes eye contact and smiles.

I haven't spoke to her today because I had a 12 hour shift in work and I presume she was quite busy looking after her daughter, plus I don't want to seem like I'm being overly forward by bombarding her before we even have a first proper date. She said she'd let me know when she's free and I hope she keeps her promise, I'm pretty sure she will.

Will text her tomorrow at some point just to remind her I haven't forgotten the arrangement.

 

[cronullasharks]

Cheers mate. I've already made her laugh every time I've spoke to her, and not because I went out of my way to make a concerted effort I was just being myself, with a lot of other people in the place they won't even acknowledge me as they go past whereas she always makes eye contact and smiles.

I haven't spoke to her today because I had a 12 hour shift in work and I presume she was quite busy looking after her daughter, plus I don't want to seem like I'm being overly forward by bombarding her before we even have a first proper date. She said she'd let me know when she's free and I hope she keeps her promise, I'm pretty sure she will.

Will text her tomorrow at some point just to remind her I haven't forgotten the arrangement.

Nice one mate, can tell by your posting you're doing well now.

 

[AdamEFC]

Had a tough few weeks my heads absolutely battered. Nearly 2 years ago one of my best friends committed suicide and to be completely honest I've never been the same since. Not a day goes by were I don't think about him and I start to blame myself about how I could have done more to stop it from happening with something as simple as a phone call or a text.

These feelings got worse over the last few weeks when another friend lost their dad and while consoling her all the feelings I had when I found out about my friend passing away came flooding back. It's really effecting me as I have trouble sleeping as I lie there thinking then end up having only a couple of hours sleep a night. This then means I'm tired the next day and I'm dead miserable and snap a lot more at the stupidest things in work. It's also effecting me socially as I just can't be bothered doing anything as I'm feeling tired and down and becoming a lot more distant to people I was previously very close with. I just don't know how to get out of this slump as I feel to embarrassed to talk to people I actually know in person about this.

 

[EFCPaul]

Had a tough few weeks my heads absolutely battered. Nearly 2 years ago one of my best friends committed suicide and to be completely honest I've never been the same since. Not a day goes by were I don't think about him and I start to blame myself about how I could have done more to stop it from happening with something as simple as a phone call or a text.

These feelings got worse over the last few weeks when another friend lost their dad and while consoling her all the feelings I had when I found out about my friend passing away came flooding back. It's really effecting me as I have trouble sleeping as I lie there thinking then end up having only a couple of hours sleep a night. This then means I'm tired the next day and I'm dead miserable and snap a lot more at the stupidest things in work. It's also effecting me socially as I just can't be bothered doing anything as I'm feeling tired and down and becoming a lot more distant to people I was previously very close with. I just don't know how to get out of this slump as I feel to embarrassed to talk to people I actually know in person about this.

So sorry to read that mate, heartbreaking.

I've never lost someone close to me to suicide (knock on wood I never will) but I have felt suicidal myself a few times, fairly recently as well, and each time I didn't really stop to consider how actually committing the act would impact my loved ones and close friends. Afterwards when I've calmed down I have thought to myself "thank God I didn't go through with it there, the pain I've have wreaked on so many people's lives would be unforgivable".

Suicidal feelings are like falling off a cliff in your own head, it all just escalates so quickly and people don't think clearly in the moment which makes it such a heartbreaking thing, so many people could be saved if they'd just reached out instead of hoping in vain that someone could do the impossible and read their mind for them. I'm assuming he hid from you how badly he was struggling because that's what most people in that state do sadly. We can't see depression, it's not a physical thing on the body, therefore there's no way of knowing a person has it unless they find the courage to speak about it. You'll always have "what ifs" throughout your life, some bigger deals than others, but you have to try to put them behind you and just focus on going forwards because dwelling on the past is not the way to live a happy life. I'm 100% certain that if your mate's ghost could come back and talk to you today one last time he would ask you not to feel guilty, he would not want his troubles to become your troubles, for you to burden yourself over something he did.

Your lack of sleep is something I can relate too, I was the exact same a few months ago. Would only manage a few hours a night because I lay awake going over my negative emotions and would go into work the next morning with a brain that was very low on fuel. By the afternoon time it would completely give out and fall out of the sky so the result was me becoming a very grouchy, miserable person to everyone I interacted with which in turn caused my depression to just get even worse. Go see your doctor and tell them how you're feeling, he or she will likely refer you to an organisation where you can talk to a professional about your feelings about your mate and help you get past it. They'll also likely prescribe some sleeping tablets, just a small dose to do you a couple of days to help you get your sleeping pattern back. All of this happened with me and I feel so much better than I did around Christmas time. You can get there too, just make the first step and the rest of the way will be easier.

Stay in touch.

 

[COYBL25]

Had a tough few weeks my heads absolutely battered. Nearly 2 years ago one of my best friends committed suicide and to be completely honest I've never been the same since. Not a day goes by were I don't think about him and I start to blame myself about how I could have done more to stop it from happening with something as simple as a phone call or a text.

These feelings got worse over the last few weeks when another friend lost their dad and while consoling her all the feelings I had when I found out about my friend passing away came flooding back. It's really effecting me as I have trouble sleeping as I lie there thinking then end up having only a couple of hours sleep a night. This then means I'm tired the next day and I'm dead miserable and snap a lot more at the stupidest things in work. It's also effecting me socially as I just can't be bothered doing anything as I'm feeling tired and down and becoming a lot more distant to people I was previously very close with. I just don't know how to get out of this slump as I feel to embarrassed to talk to people I actually know in person about this.

100% you need counselling mate.

A counsellor will help you understand and come to terms with why your feeling the way your feeling - which is only natural under the circumstances.

There's a great support group - Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide. ( have look at their website )

They should be able to help you or at the very least point you in the right direction of someone who can help you.

Also go and see your GP, they may be able to get someone to help too ?

Keep posting mate x

 

[EFCPaul]

Not felt great myself today to be honest. Heard nothing from the girl from work since Sunday night, I text her this afternoon but had no reply. She was probably busy but I do feel like I've been purposely blanked, not a nice feeling. Hopefully this isn't dead in the water already. Will ask our mutual mate about it tomorrow in work for her opinion.

 

[COYBL25]

Not felt great myself today to be honest. Heard nothing from the girl from work since Sunday night, I text her this afternoon but had no reply. She was probably busy but I do feel like I've been purposely blanked, not a nice feeling. Hopefully this isn't dead in the water already. Will ask our mutual mate about it tomorrow in work for her opinion.

Don't sweat it mate, she's got a young child, which means that she probably doesn't get much time to herself outside of work.

She'd never have agreed in the first place if she didn't want to x

 

[smileychap]

I really admire whomever set up this thread and am impressed by the warmth, time and interest in many of the replies. It's not an easy topic for many people and so lots of respect goes to everyone on here who contributes.

The article below appeared on the BBC website this morning and it's another great reason to be proud of our brilliant football club, why it's unique and respected for our traditional values and identity on and off the field.

Hope you all enjoy it as much as I did - it's an important message that a great many other people in life face challenges, young and old. Being part of something like Everton can go a long way to helping everybody connected.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-39340843

COYB

 

[Sunderland afc]

Had a tough few weeks my heads absolutely battered. Nearly 2 years ago one of my best friends committed suicide and to be completely honest I've never been the same since. Not a day goes by were I don't think about him and I start to blame myself about how I could have done more to stop it from happening with something as simple as a phone call or a text.

These feelings got worse over the last few weeks when another friend lost their dad and while consoling her all the feelings I had when I found out about my friend passing away came flooding back. It's really effecting me as I have trouble sleeping as I lie there thinking then end up having only a couple of hours sleep a night. This then means I'm tired the next day and I'm dead miserable and snap a lot more at the stupidest things in work. It's also effecting me socially as I just can't be bothered doing anything as I'm feeling tired and down and becoming a lot more distant to people I was previously very close with. I just don't know how to get out of this slump as I feel to embarrassed to talk to people I actually know in person about this.

Get yo the docs and tell them what you're going trhough. Talking and getting things off your chest will help.

 

[kithnou]

I really admire whomever set up this thread and am impressed by the warmth, time and interest in many of the replies. It's not an easy topic for many people and so lots of respect goes to everyone on here who contributes.

The article below appeared on the BBC website this morning and it's another great reason to be proud of our brilliant football club, why it's unique and respected for our traditional values and identity on and off the field.

Hope you all enjoy it as much as I did - it's an important message that a great many other people in life face challenges, young and old. Being part of something like Everton can go a long way to helping everybody connected.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-39340843

COYB

Let me introduce you to our man @Groucho mate

 

[EFCPaul]

Not feeling good at all today or yesterday, felt a big slip but hopefully it's only temporary.

Decided to write off any hope of things developing with that girl, it's been 4 days now without anything. Was clearly just playing games with me, I hope she's happy because she's battered my head good and proper. Time to just draw a line under it and move on, very disheartening but what else can a person do except try to plough on forwards.

Long shift in work today it's going to be a struggle but I'll get through it. Then it's a few days respite thankfully.

 

[GwladysBlue]

Hope today's news will bring a bit of happiness to all blues!

 

[Deleted member 28206]

Not feeling good at all today or yesterday, felt a big slip but hopefully it's only temporary.

Decided to write off any hope of things developing with that girl, it's been 4 days now without anything. Was clearly just playing games with me, I hope she's happy because she's battered my head good and proper. Time to just draw a line under it and move on, very disheartening but what else can a person do except try to plough on forwards.

Long shift in work today it's going to be a struggle but I'll get through it. Then it's a few days respite thankfully.

remember mate, if shes a mum she will likely have priorities with her kids? It's normal for a parent to be busy during the week ( not sure if you're a parent to know this ) you'll have to play the long game with her if you're keen, she's obviously shown an interest by sharing her number.. Just drop a note to her saying words to the effect of you're ' around for her when she is free '.

 

[COYBL25]

Not feeling good at all today or yesterday, felt a big slip but hopefully it's only temporary.

Decided to write off any hope of things developing with that girl, it's been 4 days now without anything. Was clearly just playing games with me, I hope she's happy because she's battered my head good and proper. Time to just draw a line under it and move on, very disheartening but what else can a person do except try to plough on forwards.

Long shift in work today it's going to be a struggle but I'll get through it. Then it's a few days respite thankfully.

As @Bryan says mate, give her a chance x

 

[kithnou]

Not feeling good at all today or yesterday, felt a big slip but hopefully it's only temporary.

Decided to write off any hope of things developing with that girl, it's been 4 days now without anything. Was clearly just playing games with me, I hope she's happy because she's battered my head good and proper. Time to just draw a line under it and move on, very disheartening but what else can a person do except try to plough on forwards.

Long shift in work today it's going to be a struggle but I'll get through it. Then it's a few days respite thankfully.