Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Blue Cheese]

Here where I live (Germany) they refer people with bad chronic pain for "special pain therapy " which aims at helping people deal with their pain from both a physical and psychological perspective. I don't know too much about what's on offer in the U.K. but just had a quick look and found there seem to be pain clinics and pain management programmes around

I forgot to mention, I also attend a pain clinic, I get trigger point injections and an ocipital nerve block, problem is they wear out after about 4month and they are always late with appointments, so I've had 2 injections in nearly 3 years, no help at all.

 

[AdamEFC]

Had a tough few weeks my heads absolutely battered. Nearly 2 years ago one of my best friends committed suicide and to be completely honest I've never been the same since. Not a day goes by were I don't think about him and I start to blame myself about how I could have done more to stop it from happening with something as simple as a phone call or a text.

These feelings got worse over the last few weeks when another friend lost their dad and while consoling her all the feelings I had when I found out about my friend passing away came flooding back. It's really effecting me as I have trouble sleeping as I lie there thinking then end up having only a couple of hours sleep a night. This then means I'm tired the next day and I'm dead miserable and snap a lot more at the stupidest things in work. It's also effecting me socially as I just can't be bothered doing anything as I'm feeling tired and down and becoming a lot more distant to people I was previously very close with. I just don't know how to get out of this slump as I feel to embarrassed to talk to people I actually know in person about this.

Just a quick update, first thanks for everyone for the advice all a huge help.

Been a lot better lately, decided to be a lot more pro active and make more of an effort to do things through the week rather than just go to work and come home every weekday which has helped massively as it keeps me occupied and I've been a lot happier.

I've also started going to my friends grave a lot more. I find it helps when I go and just tell him all my feelings as if he was there which seems to help as I'm not just bottling it in.

Still have the odd bad day but overall I'm a lot happier than I was when I posted the first time.

 

[kithnou]

Sad day today. My Daughter is in her final year of Secondary & at the same time, is on the cusp of going to the next level in Netball. Unfortunately, it's been too much for her to cope & last week, I had to call her an Ambulance as she had a full blown anxiety attack. She's getting all the help she needs but today we bit the bullet & called time on the Netball. It's the right call & we all know it.

Broke my heart typing out the email to the club though. I'm not one of "those" Parents. I just sit quietly watching my kids. I don't push so everything she's done has been by herself & with her own ability. Still...found it tough. Not as tough as Bradley's Parents...(perspective)...but tough all the same.

Obviously, it's not just about the sport, it's about her struggling full stop. Quitting the team is, in a way, a form of surrendering that I find difficult. The emphasis on academic achievement is just too much on the kids these days & they end up stressing in a far unhealthy way. IMHO.

How is she doing, mate?

 

[BiggyRat]

How is she doing, mate?

Hey mate. Thanks for asking.

Coincidentally, she had a bit of a meltdown after a test today. We need her Dr. to write a letter excusing her from the large group tests that they favour & allow her to do it in a quieter environment. Work in progress...

 

[kithnou]

Hey mate. Thanks for asking.

Coincidentally, she had a bit of a meltdown after a test today. We need her Dr. to write a letter excusing her from the large group tests that they favour & allow her to do it in a quieter environment. Work in progress...

Damn. All the best mate. I would have thought the tests would have been more private really.

 

[EFCPaul]

I'm alright today, just really wish I could kick all this rumination, it's the bane of my life. Feel like my own worst enemy a lot of the time. It's always been a problem but the past week or so it's grip has really tightened. Meditation has helped a bit (thanks for the suggestion) but I'm still not as clear-headed as I'd like to be most of the day.

It feels like I'm defending my goal from wave after wave of attacks. I'm clearing the ball out of the box but can't get out of my own half.

 

[EFCPaul]

In a seriously bad way now, is anyone about to talk too?

 

[The Cowboy]

Sad day today. My Daughter is in her final year of Secondary & at the same time, is on the cusp of going to the next level in Netball. Unfortunately, it's been too much for her to cope & last week, I had to call her an Ambulance as she had a full blown anxiety attack. She's getting all the help she needs but today we bit the bullet & called time on the Netball. It's the right call & we all know it.

Broke my heart typing out the email to the club though. I'm not one of "those" Parents. I just sit quietly watching my kids. I don't push so everything she's done has been by herself & with her own ability. Still...found it tough. Not as tough as Bradley's Parents...(perspective)...but tough all the same.

Obviously, it's not just about the sport, it's about her struggling full stop. Quitting the team is, in a way, a form of surrendering that I find difficult. The emphasis on academic achievement is just too much on the kids these days & they end up stressing in a far unhealthy way. IMHO.

How does she feel about canning the netball? Was she actually enjoying it? I think if my folks curtailed something I loved it would hit me pretty hard.

I'm genuinely asking as I have three girls and want to make sure I don't ruin their lives!

 

[Woolly Blue]

In a seriously bad way now, is anyone about to talk too?

What's up mate ?

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I forgot to mention, I also attend a pain clinic, I get trigger point injections and an ocipital nerve block, problem is they wear out after about 4month and they are always late with appointments, so I've had 2 injections in nearly 3 years, no help at all.

Can I pick your brains about your pain management? I'm representing a member next week, he's been off for 146 days in the last 12 months caused by chronic lower abdominal pain that the docs can't seem to find a reason for. It might be a nerve pressing on his scrotum or scar tissue from an undescended testicle that is affecting a nerve but the poor man is agony. He had one of those blocker injections that you mentioned but the pain returned after about two weeks. Unfortunately my employers love a diagnosis and without one I'm going to struggle to argue that he should not be given a warning for his sick.. He has been referred to a pain clinic who have suggested he uses a TENS machine and I'm going to organise an Access To Work application. 1.5 hours on the bus every day isn't helping.

Was wondering if you had any other suggestions as to what he could do to manage his pain so we can show the employer that he is trying his best to stay in work.

Thanks x

 

[John23]

In a seriously bad way now, is anyone about to talk too?

What's up mate?

 

[Blue Cheese]

Can I pick your brains about your pain management? I'm representing a member next week, he's been off for 146 days in the last 12 months caused by chronic lower abdominal pain that the docs can't seem to find a reason for. It might be a nerve pressing on his scrotum or scar tissue from an undescended testicle that is affecting a nerve but the poor man is agony. He had one of those blocker injections that you mentioned but the pain returned after about two weeks. Unfortunately my employers love a diagnosis and without one I'm going to struggle to argue that he should not be given a warning for his sick.. He has been referred to a pain clinic who have suggested he uses a TENS machine and I'm going to organise an Access To Work application. 1.5 hours on the bus every day isn't helping.

Was wondering if you had any other suggestions as to what he could do to manage his pain so we can show the employer that he is trying his best to stay in work.

Thanks x

All I do is try physio, acupuncture, ultrasounds, I have started getting traction and I know you can get lower back traction, my physio has recommended Pilates, which I'm looking for classes, that helps with all sorts of stuff to do with back apparently. Make sure he says he is exercising also

The injections aren't great if I'm honest, and I found the tens machine a complete waste of time. Hope work aren't too hard on him, nothing worse than wanting to goto work but can't and your employer doesn't believe you.

Hope that is of use, to be honest, I've found no solutions to my pain so hard to say what really.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

All I do is try physio, acupuncture, ultrasounds, I have started getting traction and I know you can get lower back traction, my physio has recommended Pilates, which I'm looking for classes, that helps with all sorts of stuff to do with back apparently. Make sure he says he is exercising also

The injections aren't great if I'm honest, and I found the tens machine a complete waste of time. Hope work aren't too hard on him, nothing worse than wanting to goto work but can't and your employer doesn't believe you.

Hope that is of use, to be honest, I've found no solutions to my pain so hard to say what really.

Thanks, I hadn't thought about acupuncture or ultrasound. Good call. I'm going to argue that he is covered by the Equality Act because it is a long term condition (even if it hasn't got a name!) and it does affect his day to day activity but work have already done quite a bit as regards specialist equipment like keyboards and a chair that reclines. My concern is that they will say we've done as much as we can but you still can't manage to attend regularly and dismiss him.

 

[EFCPaul]

I just feel like life keeps knocking me down and then pointing at me laughing when I'm on the floor.

Every direction I choose to take only leads a dead-end. Being an honest, genuine person with morals and self-respect gets you absolutely nowhere whilst being an arsehole who lies and makes no effort to be nice to others gets you all the good things in life. Everything I've experienced has just reinforced these beliefs.

I'm scared, scared things will never improve because every time they look as if they might (through my efforts, not because things have just come to me) they ultimately just fall flat, time and time again and in cruel ways whilst horrible people prosper. One day I'm going to get knocked down and decide to not get back up again.

 

[larrygobfiend]

I just feel like life keeps knocking me down and then pointing at me laughing when I'm on the floor.

Every direction I choose to take only leads a dead-end. Being an honest, genuine person with morals and self-respect gets you absolutely nowhere whilst being an arsehole who lies and makes no effort to be nice to others gets you all the good things in life. Everything I've experienced has just reinforced these beliefs.

I'm scared, scared things will never improve because every time they look as if they might (through my efforts, not because things have just come to me) they ultimately just fall flat, time and time again and in cruel ways whilst horrible people prosper. One day I'm going to get knocked down and decide to not get back up again.

Keep going, mate. Don't change, keep being a decent person and eventually something good will come to you.

Unfortunately, the world is full of bellends who seem to always land on their feet. That's just part of life.

I've been to hell and back over the last few weeks, but family, friends and even people on here have picked me up and now I can feel things are improving.

Dont give up.