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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

I think life can be even harder if your on social media. Social media portrays a false reality of what life is like as people only share their good times no their bad times. I'm off social media and I'm a lot happier because I don't compare myself to others. Normal is what your used to, just do the best you can with what you've given that's all you can do.
Totally agree but have you watched some of the American TV shows that pass for teenage entertainment. I actually banned my daughter from watching some of them when she was younger. The girls are all gorgeous except for the ones who are clever -who look like a bag of spanners, have no social awareness and are generally a figure of fun. The gorgeous pretty girls treat boys like dirt- if the show was about a hunky guy who treated girls the way they do , there would be a public outcry. And they are feeding this crap to our teenagers...
 
Have decided to sign myself off work for a week, my mind is just far too scrambled at the moment and being in that unhappy environment is only making it worse.

I've considered doing this quite a few times before but previously refrained because I instead decided to just try to plough on and that it was just a crappy phase I'd get through. Also because I didn't want to leave my employers in the lurch with my sudden absence, I know they'll struggle without me. Today though all that went out the window, I've had enough of putting other arsehole people's convenience before my own wellbeing.

A friend of mine had requested next weekend off so he could spend a few days away with his girlfriend for her 21st. It was point-blank refused despite him giving them plenty of notice. We found out today that management have given several other workers, people who don't pull their weight whatsoever but are part of the "in crowd", that weekend off on spur of the moment notice. Simply so this lot can go out and get plastered whilst watching the boxing and not have to come in hungover. On top of that they've put me and friend's names down on the rotor (without asking us first) to cover these people's hours. Absolutely no chance, I've rubbed my name off and they can get to F.

I've been in a bad way and not made the necessary steps to get myself feeling better. I'm making them now and the first one is having time to myself to get my head clear again, away from certain people who automatically put me in a bad mood with the way they behave. To hell with the job, I'm not resigning (I am applying elsewhere) but I'm taking a full yard off them, not an inch. I feel I've earnt the right with how hard I work compared to certain others. It's about time I thumbed my nose back at them the way they do at me and certain other workers who break our backs but get treated like garbage. I hope with a little break where I can do some constructive things I will raise my mood levels and stop beating myself up so much about the state of my life.
 
Have decided to sign myself off work for a week, my mind is just far too scrambled at the moment and being in that unhappy environment is only making it worse.

I've considered doing this quite a few times before but previously refrained because I instead decided to just try to plough on and that it was just a crappy phase I'd get through. Also because I didn't want to leave my employers in the lurch with my sudden absence, I know they'll struggle without me. Today though all that went out the window, I've had enough of putting other arsehole people's convenience before my own wellbeing.

A friend of mine had requested next weekend off so he could spend a few days away with his girlfriend for her 21st. It was point-blank refused despite him giving them plenty of notice. We found out today that management have given several other workers, people who don't pull their weight whatsoever but are part of the "in crowd", that weekend off on spur of the moment notice. Simply so this lot can go out and get plastered whilst watching the boxing and not have to come in hungover. On top of that they've put me and friend's names down on the rotor (without asking us first) to cover these people's hours. Absolutely no chance, I've rubbed my name off and they can get to F.

I've been in a bad way and not made the necessary steps to get myself feeling better. I'm making them now and the first one is having time to myself to get my head clear again, away from certain people who automatically put me in a bad mood with the way they behave. To hell with the job, I'm not resigning (I am applying elsewhere) but I'm taking a full yard off them, not an inch. I feel I've earnt the right with how hard I work compared to certain others. It's about time I thumbed my nose back at them the way they do at me and certain other workers who break our backs but get treated like garbage. I hope with a little break where I can do some constructive things I will raise my mood levels and stop beating myself up so much about the state of my life.

Keep going pal
 
Have decided to sign myself off work for a week, my mind is just far too scrambled at the moment and being in that unhappy environment is only making it worse.

I've considered doing this quite a few times before but previously refrained because I instead decided to just try to plough on and that it was just a crappy phase I'd get through. Also because I didn't want to leave my employers in the lurch with my sudden absence, I know they'll struggle without me. Today though all that went out the window, I've had enough of putting other arsehole people's convenience before my own wellbeing.

A friend of mine had requested next weekend off so he could spend a few days away with his girlfriend for her 21st. It was point-blank refused despite him giving them plenty of notice. We found out today that management have given several other workers, people who don't pull their weight whatsoever but are part of the "in crowd", that weekend off on spur of the moment notice. Simply so this lot can go out and get plastered whilst watching the boxing and not have to come in hungover. On top of that they've put me and friend's names down on the rotor (without asking us first) to cover these people's hours. Absolutely no chance, I've rubbed my name off and they can get to F.

I've been in a bad way and not made the necessary steps to get myself feeling better. I'm making them now and the first one is having time to myself to get my head clear again, away from certain people who automatically put me in a bad mood with the way they behave. To hell with the job, I'm not resigning (I am applying elsewhere) but I'm taking a full yard off them, not an inch. I feel I've earnt the right with how hard I work compared to certain others. It's about time I thumbed my nose back at them the way they do at me and certain other workers who break our backs but get treated like garbage. I hope with a little break where I can do some constructive things I will raise my mood levels and stop beating myself up so much about the state of my life.

Very brave decision that mate, but good for you.

Make sure you have things to do when you're off to keep yourself occupied. Keep busy, do things you enjoy and remember that being of with stress etc doesn't mean you have to stay indoors, as it's what ever makes you better x
 

Very brave decision that mate, but good for you.

Make sure you have things to do when you're off to keep yourself occupied. Keep busy, do things you enjoy and remember that being of with stress etc doesn't mean you have to stay indoors, as it's what ever makes you better x

Going to go the gym and try a bit of shopping mate, I've got a bit money saved up I can treat myself with.

It's about having ME time. Time to just focus on doing things that make me feel good, not on things I feel I have to do but don't really want too. I don't want to be around certain people or even hear their names, they P me off that badly even if they don't mean too, I just can't stand their behaviour.

Hopefully after a rest I will feel alright and will feel able enough to go back (until I find something else) but for now the mere thought of certain people makes me boil and I'm going to let it spill over unless I take steps turn the heat down.
 
I too feel that my problems will never go away sometimes. When i'm feeling that way, one model my therapist showed me was the Drama triangle. Think of a triangle. One corner is called rescuer, one corner is called persecutor and the other corner is labelled victim. In stressful or conflict situations we can adopt one of these roles because it feels comfortable or safe. But they're all destructive postures.

When I feel powerless, I'm settling for the role of victim. So if I'm at the mercy of forces beyond my control, why should I carry on trying to deal with my issues? I'll never win. (Look at your words above).

Once I learned to see things differently, I started to put effort in again to deal with problems. Because I knew that it was the only way to resolve things. No point waiting for luck to come along - it probably never will. No point in sitting back and letting things get worse because they will. And no point in taking the ultimate way out because to do that means settling for the status quo.

Over time and with support I changed that victim hat for that of 'creator' a person who uses his own energy and skills to create new ways out of difficulties. Someone who gives himself permission to succeed. Took me a while but I'm better today than I've been in years.

I know this isn't related directly to the OP situation, but I just wanted to say that I've also found this drama triangle really useful, both in terms of how to remove myself out of it, and in terms of the roles that others play; in particular watching out for those who portray themselves as "victims" in a scenario, but who are actually "persecutors" (particularly relevant in some of my family relations where I'm made to feel like I'm persecuting someone, or having to rescue them, but actually, they are manipulating from that situation).

it's both complex and simple, but once I got my head around it, it's really helped me to remove myself from old systems of behaviour and form new habits and ways of interacting with others.
 
Stayed off today but still feeling down, brain is stuck in a rut and I'm still beating myself up over the state of my life. Just have no confidence in myself at the moment. Hopefully it's just a crap phase and I get better soon.
 
Stayed off today but still feeling down, brain is stuck in a rut and I'm still beating myself up over the state of my life. Just have no confidence in myself at the moment. Hopefully it's just a crap phase and I get better soon.

You've just had your first day off on the sick mate. You're brain won't adjust to the change of environment that quickly.
Just take it day by day. Keep busy, go to the gym, which will do wonders for all those intrusive thoughts . Use the time to catch up on friends and family you haven't seen for ages x
 

Stayed off today but still feeling down, brain is stuck in a rut and I'm still beating myself up over the state of my life. Just have no confidence in myself at the moment. Hopefully it's just a crap phase and I get better soon.
Hi mate,

I've not been in the best phase of my life this past year. Posted about it a lot in here, etc.

Best advice I can offer you is to go to the gym. I've been going 5 days a week for the past month now and I have noticed a definite improvement in my overall mood.

I'm not saying I'm happy, I'm still not, but I've got a routine in my life.

I've started seeing the results of going the gym and I'm feeling good about it.

Things will not stay bad forever, things will get better for you. Just keep at it. Set yourself a target and work towards it.
 
After months and months of tests found out today that I cant have kids due to me having really really bad swimmers.
Hard because just engaged and my Fiancé is 21 and im 24, really took the wind out of my sails. Her dad passed away last week too. Absolutely terrible few weeks.
 
After months and months of tests found out today that I cant have kids due to me having really really bad swimmers.
Hard because just engaged and my Fiancé is 21 and im 24, really took the wind out of my sails. Her dad passed away last week too. Absolutely terrible few weeks.
Gutting, lad. But surely artificial insemination can help with this dilemma? I know it can be costly but presumably the NHS can help!
 

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