Felt better today, went the gym and lifted some weights and was able to get my mind away from the self-doubts for a few hours. Back at home now feeling very calm and relaxed instead of anxious and downbeat.
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
Quick update. Had the meeting with my member and management today. It went much better than I was hoping for. They agreed that he was covered under the Equality Act, wiped out most of his sick as it was all related to his condition. They also commented on they could see how he was doing as much as he could to try to attend work regularly by exploring the possibilities of using a TENS machine, acupuncture, Access to Work etc
All in all a good result. My stress levels have reduced significantly, I was losing sleep about this person.
efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
I have been meaning to post in here for ages. I keep typing out a post and then deleting it.
I have been dealing with anxiety for years. I go through good and bad spells. The thing is, I have so much guilt associated with it. I have so much to be thankful for, an amazing wife, beautiful daughter and a good job. So I feel like I have no right to have these feelings.
It's the stupidest things that set me off, usually social situations or any kind of conflict with anybody and quite often money issues.
Even writing this is I feel stupid as there are clearly people worse off than me. I just hate the way I can lose entire days to anxiety. I ruined my daughter's birthday for myself last year because I got my self tied up in knots over something insignificant, fortunately nobody could tell as I am used to hiding it.
I appreciate it if anyone read this. Sorry to go on. Just needed an outlet.
I have been dealing with anxiety for years. I go through good and bad spells. The thing is, I have so much guilt associated with it. I have so much to be thankful for, an amazing wife, beautiful daughter and a good job. So I feel like I have no right to have these feelings.
It's the stupidest things that set me off, usually social situations or any kind of conflict with anybody and quite often money issues.
Even writing this is I feel stupid as there are clearly people worse off than me. I just hate the way I can lose entire days to anxiety. I ruined my daughter's birthday for myself last year because I got my self tied up in knots over something insignificant, fortunately nobody could tell as I am used to hiding it.
I appreciate it if anyone read this. Sorry to go on. Just needed an outlet.
GwladysBlue
Player Valuation: £70m
What is it that actually makes you anxious, mate? Are there any specific triggers?
Also, anyone can get these feelings, good life or not. You're entitled to be in this thread as much as anybody else.
efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
Thanks for replying.
It's usually 2 things, money issues, which is irrational as we do fine, not in any arrears or anything like that.
Also any kind of conflict with anyone, I often just feel guilty for no reason and convince myself that I have done something wrong. By this I mean I have a huge amount of guilt for something as simple as declining an invitation for a drink at the pub with friends.
It was at its worse about 5 years ago, without realising it I stopped looking after myself and lost a load of weight. It was brought to my attention at work. I saw a doctor and I have generally been up and down since then.
Donald Twain
Vide cor meum
echoing what Roydo said earlier the work done in here is nothing short of incredible and inspirational ! Well done to all.
GwladysBlue
Player Valuation: £70m
The key to beating anxiety is knowing that you never will. It's all about managing it.
Unfortunately, we in this thread have anxious/depressive tendencies and we will always have them. That is what my therapist told me. However, we can try and manage our anxieties/depression.
I'll share one of my own anxieties that I have recently managed to lower:
I have a job where I'm often around dirty needles. When I'm going to sites for meetings on projects for refurbs, etc, I'd always find dirty needles there. It used to set my anxiety off massively.
I'd be petrified that I'd somehow been stabbed by it and hadn't felt it, or I would step on one and it would go through my foot.
In my head I knew that if any of the above happened, I would definitely know about it. It still didn't help trying to rationalise it, though. It got to the point that I wasn't doing my job properly, I said I'd been to somewhere when I hadn't. I would have lost my job had work found out.
Nobody who does the same job as me ever sees them, it's because brain is so wired to spotting them that I see them. I even see them out of work. Noticed a few on the way to Goodison.
To cut a long story short, My therapist said the only way I could lower this level of anxiety is to expose myself to it. Obviously she couldn't get some smack head to whack a needle infront of me, but we did a task called imaginable exposure.
I would write down that my worst fear had happened and then I would record myself talking through what I wrote. Every night I would spend 30 minutes going through this, imagining it had happened, with no other distractions. She then eventually brought in needles, etc into the sessions that I had to hold.
Perhaps in your situation, you could write down that you have lost your job, your house is on the verge of being repossessed and your worst financial anxieties are all happening to you. You then have to sit with it.
Rate your anxiety at the start of reading through it out of ten, then after reading through it 3+ times, rate your anxiety again.
Eventually these thoughts will make you less and less anxious.
I don't know if that will work for everybody, but it can be a very useful way of lowering anxieties about situations that haven't happened and aren't likely to happen.
An anxiety disorder is an illness the same as any other illness mate, so you don't need to feel guilty about anything at all.
I won't bore you with my anxiety problems, but mine came about due to an horrendous and prolonged situation in work over a decade ago. I still have them , but to an extent I've learnt to manage my situation.
My advice to you is that it won't go away until you accept it, once you do this you can start to try to do something about it.
If you try to fight it or bottle it up, it'll come roaring back at some point, normally in an unexpected situation.
From what I've read, the brain produces a chemical ( steroid ) called CORTISOL along with Adrenaline when placed under stressful situations - part of the fight or flight process, to give you that turbo boost to leg it or stay and fight. It's also produced as part of the waking process too, to gradually wake you up - I wager you're a bad sleeper too ?.
However if your placed in stressful situations for a long time ( this includes things like worrying about money, children, anything at all ) you're brain produces too much and for too long - like a tap being turned on that shouldn't be.
Your brain almost becomes locked in a loop of anxiety and you become worried about being worried - like you are.
It's horrendous and debilitating, as you're constantly on edge, can fly off the handle for no reason, tired all the time from it.
You suffer and everyone around you suffers.
I'd recommend going onto this NHS run forum mate :
mental health.org
It's an online community of sufferers with every type of mental ilness you can think of and there's a massive thead on there of posters with anxiety problems, just like you, who will support and give you brilliant advice about how to help yourself.
The way I manage mine mate, is through excercise ( aerobic excercise produces endorphins which make you feel good ) herbal stuff which helps me sleep and also by drinking in moderation - hangovers affect the balance of chemicals in your brain and make you feel horrendously low and anxious the following day.
@chicoazul also has a lot of very good advice that he'll help you with - simple mediation / retraining your brain.
Don't ever feel stupid mate, there's thousands of people across the globe that suffer the same as you and me. Most of us will never know about them, as you say, people become very good at hiding it.
Please keep posting, you really are amongst friends here x
efcforever
Player Valuation: £10m
Thank you for taking the time to reply. It means a lot!
I will definitely try this technique. Maybe not right away but I will give it a go.
I'm going to try and settle down now and get some sleep. Thanks again.
GwladysBlue
Player Valuation: £70m
A good sleep is VERY important mate for a troubled mind mate, I've had to learn that the hard way. Without it our brains often suffer a complete break down at some point during your day and we can't even do the most basic of things like concentrate, I've had so many horrible days that I could have saved myself from had I just gone to bed earlier and woke up feeling more rested.
Make sure to get a good rest so you can be at your sharpest, that way you'll definitely find dealing with your anxiety not as difficult.
Baines' left foot
Player Valuation: £90m
I find nothing is better at de-stressing me than a good weights session listening to music.
Exercise is a great way to deal with depression.
Sapie88
Hi @Donald Twain
Doesn't matter if people have it worse or not mate, you've got it.
It's good that you've been open and honest about it, even if it is to a load of tits off the Internet.
Talking about it is always the first step and it's a lot better than keeping it bottled up as I'm sure a lot of the folk in here will agree with.
So now you've got it out whenever you're feeling this way come in here and let it out, alternatively you can PM me and I'll tell you about one of my many calamities, no doubt will cheer you up.
flippa
Player Valuation: £750k
I have this app and I love it. For me personally it's worth the money, to take me out of office stress and my anxiety each day and reset the system.