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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

barmcake said:
He's been seeing CAMHS since before Xmas. Until a month ago he was tier 2 and was supposed to be having CBT sessions however he refused to attend/speak to CAMHS. He doesn't like CAMHS at all, partly because he doesn't want to talk and partly because he's seen six different people and so far they've not been very helpful. After the last visit they referred him to tier 3 and as yet we are waiting for that to happen. He hasn't been diagnosed as such other than he has depression and PTSD from earlier School bullying. We had an 'early help' meeting last Monday at the school. School had three people there and a child advocate who represents him but CAMHS didn't attend when they had agreed to.

I think my frustration with the wife is down to us all agreeing to this contract on Friday and she basically gave in at the first sign of conflict. I know why she's doing it but it's a very short term play and is making it even more difficult to manage in the long term.

I honestly don't recognise my son anymore. It's like we have an imposter and whilst I know he's ultimately the victim in all this, the way he's taking it out on those closest to him is heartbreaking.

Thanks to everyone's replies. I think I will give them a ring.
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Let us know how you get on mate.

As @Jokerdan says it's imperative that you get a diagnosis in writing asap, as the powers that he won't start " spending any money " until they have it in black and white.

Through my voluntary work, I've got to know a lady who has become a self styled expert on assisting parents such as yourself, due to her having to fight long and hard to get her son diagnosed, treated and then get him the right school etc due to his Attention Deficit Disorder.

Please PM me mate and I'll pass her number onto you. She'd be a great starting point for you, as she knows how to fight the system, the right things to say and how to make them take notice.

She's a fierce lady mate and she'd be good to get in your corner x
 
COYBL25 said:
Spot on - sugar and in particular caffeine are real kickers.


You don't realise how hard it is to eliminate them from your diet, until you actually try to avoid them. Sugar in particular seems to be in virtually everything we eat and drink ( bar milk and water ).
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It's a hard one with sugar as 'sugar free'/artificial sweeteners are much worse.

I think the most obvious thing to do is to give up fruit juice, check the ingredients of your cereal and don't drink pop.
 
efcforever said:
Yesterday was a better day I woke up feeling good and went to sleep feeling good. Today however, my anxiety has taken hold again. It feels like I get to a point where I just can't think straight. Don't know how people put up with me sometimes. Just got to stay positive, hopefully tomorrow will be better.
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You're going to have many days like this mate.

Some good, some bad.

The danger I found, is that when you're feeling good, you start to over analyse why you feeling good and anxiety can creep back in - you become worried about being worried and end up trapped in this horrible spiral of anxiety.

When I had a bad day like your describing, I always tried to force myself out for a run, even if it was the last thing I really wanted to do.

It would always make me feel much much better when I got home.

Aerobic excerise really does wonders x
 
Left work again today, on the verge of quitting for my own good. I don't know what to do for the best, very confused. Being in constant pain and having a headache all the time is really making it hard for me to stay out of my depressive state, everytime I think I am getting somewhere, the neck flares up and seems I'm back to square one.

Now I feel so embarrassed and ashamed from constantly being off that I want to quit, something needs to give because I'm miserable as hell at work when all I can think about is the fact I have arthritis in my neck and how long I may be able to work in manufacturing for. Head is all over the show.
 

Blue Cheese said:
Left work again today, on the verge of quitting for my own good. I don't know what to do for the best, very confused. Being in constant pain and having a headache all the time is really making it hard for me to stay out of my depressive state, everytime I think I am getting somewhere, the neck flares up and seems I'm back to square one.

Now I feel so embarrassed and ashamed from constantly being off that I want to quit, something needs to give because I'm miserable as hell at work when all I can think about is the fact I have arthritis in my neck and how long I may be able to work in manufacturing for. Head is all over the show.
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YOUR HEALTH is what's most important mate. Putting yourself first is something a lot of people are reluctant to do, but sometimes it HAS to be done. Go to the doctor and tell him/her you need signing off, you're just not ready at this moment in time to be in a working environment. You need time to get yourself better and the only way to do that is to have some R&R in a stress-free environment so you can rest both physically and mentally.

You have no reason to be embarrassed mate, this is an illness you're battling. Should a person be embarrassed if they have to leave work for cancer treatment? No. You shouldn't feel embarrassed for having to leave for mental health problems either, we don't choose to fight these battles, they choose us and we have to make sure we win them no matter what the cost.

If your colleagues are good people at heart they will understand your struggles and won't judge you negatively, they'll just hope you get better. If they're a bad bunch who will piss and moan about it then F them, we shouldn't get hung up on the opinions of ignorant people with no empathy, karma will one day come back to bite them.

Stay in touch, we're all here for you.
 
PaulieMc said:
YOUR HEALTH is what's most important mate. Putting yourself first is something a lot of people are reluctant to do, but sometimes it HAS to be done. Go to the doctor and tell him/her you need signing off, you're just not ready at this moment in time to be in a working environment. You need time to get yourself better and the only way to do that is to have some R&R in a stress-free environment so you can rest both physically and mentally.

You have no reason to be embarrassed mate, this is an illness you're battling. Should a person be embarrassed if they have to leave work for cancer treatment? No. You shouldn't feel embarrassed for having to leave for mental health problems either, we don't choose to fight these battles, they choose us and we have to make sure we win them no matter what the cost.

If your colleagues are good people at heart they will understand your struggles and won't judge you negatively, they'll just hope you get better. If they're a bad bunch who will piss and moan about it then F them, we shouldn't get hung up on the opinions of ignorant people with no empathy, karma will one day come back to bite them.

Stay in touch, we're all here for you.
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Thanks mate, my therapist said the same, so I don't know why I feel so bad, I just feel like I am letting everyone down all the time. I genuinely want to work and earn money but I also need to start feeling better and looking out for myself, which i struggle with as I think I've disappointed those close to me.
 
Blue Cheese said:
Thanks mate, my therapist said the same, so I don't know why I feel so bad, I just feel like I am letting everyone down all the time. I genuinely want to work and earn money but I also need to start feeling better and looking out for myself, which i struggle with as I think I've disappointed those close to me.
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Try to avoid over analysing things. The worst thing with anxiety is that it causes you to dwell on matters and that only leads to greater anxiety. Easier said than done but as COBLY25 says exercise - even just power walking - really does help the old endomorphins kick in and make you feel better. It's like they clear out all the negativity - probably why so many sportsmen are at a loss when they finish their careers and stop their exercise regimes and then spiral into dark places in their heads.
 
COYBL25 said:
You're going to have many days like this mate.

Some good, some bad.

The danger I found, is that when you're feeling good, you start to over analyse why you feeling good and anxiety can creep back in - you become worried about being worried and end up trapped in this horrible spiral of anxiety.

When I had a bad day like your describing, I always tried to force myself out for a run, even if it was the last thing I really wanted to do.

It would always make me feel much much better when I got home.

Aerobic excerise really does wonders x
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I can relate to this. I often find that on a good day my mind searches for something to worry about. I agree that exercise helps. I've started spending my lunch break going for a brisk walk.
 
efcforever said:
I can relate to this. I often find that on a good day my mind searches for something to worry about. I agree that exercise helps. I've started spending my lunch break going for a brisk walk.
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I like that saying - " my mind searches for something to worry about ", as it almost perfectly describes the way your brain takes control and almost forces you into worrying.

I found that through excercise, I was able to shut these thoughts down x
 

Blue Cheese said:
Left work again today, on the verge of quitting for my own good. I don't know what to do for the best, very confused. Being in constant pain and having a headache all the time is really making it hard for me to stay out of my depressive state, everytime I think I am getting somewhere, the neck flares up and seems I'm back to square one.

Now I feel so embarrassed and ashamed from constantly being off that I want to quit, something needs to give because I'm miserable as hell at work when all I can think about is the fact I have arthritis in my neck and how long I may be able to work in manufacturing for. Head is all over the show.
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Have you had a diagnosis of arthritis?
I ask because I used to have a lot of bad necks (sometimes headaches) and all the doc did was recommended pain killers. Then one day a teaching assistant at school, who was previously a physio (fed up of my groaning) started massaging my upper back and shoulders. Turns out all the pain in my neck was down to knotted muscles there. After a bit of painful massage my neck was better. Now when I get a resurgence I massage the area by leaning and rolling on a tennis ball against a wall.
 
chrismpw said:
Have you had a diagnosis of arthritis?
I ask because I used to have a lot of bad necks (sometimes headaches) and all the doc did was recommended pain killers. Then one day a teaching assistant at school, who was previously a physio (fed up of my groaning) started massaging my upper back and shoulders. Turns out all the pain in my neck was down to knotted muscles there. After a bit of painful massage my neck was better. Now when I get a resurgence I massage the area by leaning and rolling on a tennis ball against a wall.
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Yes, a neurosurgeon told me after my MRI scan. Every disc is degenerating. Oh I know all about knots in my muscles, believe me.
 

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